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Old 6th April 2019, 7:14 PM   #1
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Post abusive relationship

Hi everyone,
I am not proud to say that my marriage is falling apart, itís been that way and I no longer feel happy just looking at him. I am the wife, and Iím also easily tempered. And he loves to ignore whenever we are in the midst of arguing, or even sleep. Which irritates me. So iíll end up throwing things, or just kicking or grabbing him. I do not enjoy it, but itía frustrating, to have someone not try to listen to you to fix things. He also hits me, a slap, a kick, a push. But recently he punched me in my face.

Which made me realise that, I have to leave. We have teo kids, boys, and he did it in front of them. He wouldnít leave me alone to give me space. He has always been dependent on me, for everything, even money. And itís alright if itís once or twice but it gets really annoying when I try to spend my money and he will go ďWe donít have anymore money, do you know that?Ē Itís not my job to provide for him yet I have to.

I just want to call it quite. I donít love him anymore, if anythingg I feel angry and I hate him. Especially when he tries to touch me or have sex, it feels like Iím being forced. I feel disgusted, and I always regret right after. Iíve tried asking for a divorce, but he just wonít listen. I swear it feels like heís keeping the marriage only to torture me.

I hope I get a break from this, to finally be happy.
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Old 6th April 2019, 9:04 PM   #2
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Hitting a woman ANY WOMAN is complete insanity, Dear OP, I am sorry you endured such chaos...
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Old 8th April 2019, 1:42 PM   #3
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I applaud you for reaching out. I’m really sorry you are going through this. Big supportive hug! Have you considered calling the national domestic violence hotline? It’s completely confidential and they can answer any questions you have about the unhealthy aspects of your relationship. I have spoken with my pastor and I’ve also seen a Christian counselor. Both were very supportive and offered good, sound advice. Do you have anyone like that in your life that you can talk to? They may be able to help you get to the root of your anger. You are not alone. I will be praying for you this week, for God‘s direction and for peace with your decisions.
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Old 8th April 2019, 1:50 PM   #4
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Sounds as though you are in a toxic relationship and are both abusing each other.

Please seek a therapist and separate - for the sake of your children.

No one should hit, grab, etc. the other. Not a woman towards a man or a man towards a woman. And from what you've said, you've also hit him.
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Old 8th April 2019, 6:01 PM   #5
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First of all, you donít need to ask anyone for a divorce. You file, theyíre served, and the rest is history.

The two of you are highly incompatible and you need to get out of this toxic relationship. However, understand that your actions arenít much better than his. He shouldnít hit and neither should you. You both need to learn respect and self-control. If you get into another relationship, promise yourself that youíll never throw things or hit someone again.
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Old 9th April 2019, 1:52 AM   #6
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That is a horrible environment for your children to be in. You and your husband are abusing your kids by making them grow up in a home like this. They are going to be damaged and may need years of therapy to recover. That or they will just go on to get trapped in their own abusive relationships.

You don't need your husband's permission to get divorced. Go see an attorney and have him served. Also phone your local women's shelter or domestic abuse hotline. Tell them that your husband punched you in the face in front of your kids. See what resources they can offer you.
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Old 11th April 2019, 8:51 AM   #7
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Without a doubt, you and your husband are abusing your children by raising them in a home where both parents and physically and emotionally abusing each other.

Itís good that you recognize that you need to get out. Get yourself a lawyer and and counsellor. Get your kids a counsellor. Your focus now should be on creating a safe and healthy home for your children... good luck.
If they love you, you will know. If they don't, you will wonder all the time if they do...
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Old 11th April 2019, 9:33 AM   #8
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OP, what steps are you planning to take to leave? You need to get started on it right away. Usually when a man starts punching you it only escalates from there. He has lost all respect for you and it's time to collect your children and go.
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Old 13th April 2019, 10:27 AM   #9
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Call a womena's abuse hotline. Not only with they give you counseling, they will provide you with resources to get you out of your situation in the safest way possible.

You are a fool if you believe that having each others passwords = trust.
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