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Brother in Law flirts with me - How do I tell my Sister

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Old 16th January 2011, 10:38 AM   #1
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Brother in Law flirts with me - How do I tell my Sister

I've been on this website a few years ago & liked the feedback, so I thought I would give it a try.
* I am asking for outside opinions, because sometimes it helps
Me and my sister have an 8 year age gap & are also very different from each other.
Well it all started when I was 16 years old. That was the first time he hit on me. My sister was pregnant and almost due, she was at the store shopping. Nothing physical but he had told me that he wanted to kiss me at this party they had just recently, but he didn't try to because he didn't know how I was going to react. I left there house immediately and went home. I was so confused and shocked. From then on I always felt uncomfortable around him. Was too scared to tell my sister because she was so happy about her new baby.
Throughout my 20's I didn't see the both of them much because they had moved out of state. But when I did he always made me feel uncomfortable. Always wanting to get me alone- whatever was going on & he liked to rub himself down there noticebly. I guess he was waiting for me to initiate or something.
Not until recently I started having marital problems and I started talking to my sister for support, that Steve got involved & he started texting me and sending me emails. I didn't care because so much time had passed.
He sent me a provacative video of himself "With his tongue sticking out like he was licking a girls private area in the air" I was appalled and so was my husband.
My husband and I are still working things out but he thinks I defintely need to tell my sister of the innapropriate behavior he has toward me.
If I did I would ruin her whole little happy world and risk the chance of her never talking to me again. I don't know how or when to tell her....
Any open opinions welcome. Thanks
sunset1978 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th January 2011, 10:51 AM   #2
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You need to tell him flat out, that one more sexual advance towards you and you are going to tell your sister. Don't be shy but strong when you tell him. Tell him you have already showed the picture to your husband and he thinks you should tell your sister. Don't play around with him; be direct and he will get the message.
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th January 2011, 12:16 PM   #3
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Yeah, I have no problem in doing that. Do you think it's a good idea to still tell my Sister or not?
sunset1978 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th January 2011, 12:24 PM   #4
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I'd tell your sister too.
You can be as direct as you like with him, but say he worries you will tell her whats been going on or gets vindictive? Once you tell him off, he can just turn around and tell your sister YOU'VE been flirting with him!

"It started when she was 16 and I just blew it off cuz she was a kid and I thought it was a phase, but now its really starting to bother me...."

Tell your sister first. That way when she talks to him, he can't turn the tables so easily. Besides, I doubt you're the only one he behaves this way towards.

I'm finding it odd that your husband saw what he sent to you and everyone is just keeping quiet.
may your sons' wives rejoice as often as your own; may your daughters marry men of your worth.
sally4sara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th January 2011, 12:31 PM   #5
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Well I come from a pretty dysfunctional family. My husband is not ok with what is going and has been telling me to tell my sister for quite awhile now. He is not ok with it at all, but he wants me to be the one to say something.
I really don't know why I am so afraid of hurting my sister. I've always thought if I told her she might not believe me.
But I do actually have proof that I have saved on my email of the video he sent me recently.
Thanks for your replies!
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