Wondering40 Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 I have had this job now for about 5 months. One of the reasons I took the job was the people were all so polite and the work environment is stress free pretty much. My boss is very quiet and most of the co-workers are a little intimidated by him, although he has never done anything negative at all...I think its just because he is kinda quiet and not everyone knows where they stand with him? I however find my boss to be very nice and very attractive. I have tried very hard not to be so attracted to him because he is my boss and he is married. Lately he has been noticing things about me and saying little complements. I don't know if he is just being nice or is actually attracted to me also. For example one day he said something about my shoes matching my sweater, another time he heard me singing to the radio and told me that I had a very good singing voice. Last week while he was putting his jacket on to leave he winked at me...I was the only other person in the office. Today he came into my office and just stood there for awhile ( I was typing up a paper and tried to look busy so that he didn't think I was looking at him) then he asked if I would go through a stack of papers ...which I was already working on...but had gone across the room to answer the phone...he noticed from the look on my face that I was already doing it, so it was kinda weird...its so hard to get it across in type...it was as though he was making up an excuse to talk to me...I don't know...maybe I'm just blowing this all out of proportion. Someone please give me some advise.... Innocent working woman Link to post Share on other sites
NYCmitch25 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 I have had this job now for about 5 months. One of the reasons I took the job was the people were all so polite and the work environment is stress free pretty much. My boss is very quiet and most of the co-workers are a little intimidated by him, although he has never done anything negative at all...I think its just because he is kinda quiet and not everyone knows where they stand with him? I however find my boss to be very nice and very attractive. I have tried very hard not to be so attracted to him because he is my boss and he is married. Lately he has been noticing things about me and saying little complements. I don't know if he is just being nice or is actually attracted to me also. For example one day he said something about my shoes matching my sweater, another time he heard me singing to the radio and told me that I had a very good singing voice. Last week while he was putting his jacket on to leave he winked at me...I was the only other person in the office. Today he came into my office and just stood there for awhile ( I was typing up a paper and tried to look busy so that he didn't think I was looking at him) then he asked if I would go through a stack of papers ...which I was already working on...but had gone across the room to answer the phone...he noticed from the look on my face that I was already doing it, so it was kinda weird...its so hard to get it across in type...it was as though he was making up an excuse to talk to me...I don't know...maybe I'm just blowing this all out of proportion. Someone please give me some advise.... Innocent working woman He is probably really into you because you are attractive, funny and boosting his ego but do you really want to be involved with your boss who is also married? Link to post Share on other sites
phyrespryte Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 He's married!!! And he's your boss!!! I would stop thinking so hard about his actions. Keep your distance from him too. Also it helps to just think that he's a nice guy and that how he treats you is the same as the other employees. The more you focus on how he treats you the harder it will be to stop thinking about him. If that doesn't help. Focus on something that you don't like about him. So eventually you're turned off by him. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Flirting will only make your good job go bad. If flirting led to other things, who do you think would look bad when it all ended? You would look like the office tramp "sleeping your way to the top." Further, if someone else found out and one of you was fired, who do you think it would be . . . the boss who is a higher-up/superior? . . . or a regular employee who can be replaced? And there is a thread somewhere else written by a woman who was dumped by a married man who promised that he wasn't lying to her . . . use her post as a guide for your next steps. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Wow, married boss... bad news there. Stay away from it. Not worth it at all. I never *flirt* with people at work - not that I really *flirt* to begin with - because I am there to do my job. I steer clear of all the BS that is usually associated with working in an office. Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 I'm assuming you're not married? However, your boss is! I wouldn't return any flirting he may be doing, that will only complicate things further, and being that you have stated you find him attractive may make that hard for you to do. I would ignore any signals he may be giving you. Let him hang himself then that way you're in the clear. Chances are if you don't return the flirting he will probably move onto someone who will. Don't be apart of destroying his marraige our your life, let him do that to himself. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 You let your boss that his behavior is inappropriate towards you and that he has a wife and that you are his employee and that is all .. Leave it at that cause if you start acting on this flirting than something is bound to happen!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 If flirting starts, even though one or both people might think no one will notice, you can bet your last paycheck that someone DOES and sooner or later you will have a bad name or someone's job will be in jeopardy. Link to post Share on other sites
NYCmitch25 Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 You let your boss that his behavior is inappropriate towards you and that he has a wife and that you are his employee and that is all .. Leave it at that cause if you start acting on this flirting than something is bound to happen!! I would suggest that she doesn't go there yet... Link to post Share on other sites
Wondering40 Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 I just wanted to thank everyone for there excellent advice. I have gotten alot out of all of the replies so far. I definetely do not want anything to develop that is unhealthy at work. I was just mainly curious to see if any of you thought that my boss is paying special attention to me or was I reading too much into them... because he is a very nice man and has never said anything off color or hinted anything aloud anyways. I mean maybe he is just being very friendly, either way I will not return flirting with him, but I will be nice and friendly myself. Link to post Share on other sites
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