Mysterio Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 I have an older woman friend that says that she and her partner sleep in separate beds. Its because the man snores. She asked if my parents sleep in separate beds. I said no. My thing is this. She and her partner are in their 60's. I don't pry into their sex life or anything like that. My thing is if your younger between 20-60. How does that work having separate beds? I am not saying all couple are having sex staying in the same bed. I can't see how having separate beds can be great for a relationship and if things fall off the rails. Having separate beds will help the unbinding process as a couple. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 You can still have plenty of sex - personally, we don't even do it under the covers with the lights off, so whether we sleep in the same bed or not wouldn't affect sex. My main concern would be the lack of emotional intimacy, because bedtime is a fantastic time to cuddle. But one person having terrible sleep and being a monster in the daytime would be a worse tradeoff. In that case, the best solution would be indeed for them to sleep in separate beds, but to make the effort to cuddle in the same bed before actually going off to sleep. If they haven't already tried it, obviously the first step would be for the snorer to seek treatment - some causes of snoring can be fixed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 Millions of couples do it...yes, even those with normal, healthy relationships....It's not even rare... It could be a for a variety of reasons...For instance, I am a very light sleeper that cant just put my head on a pillow and go to sleep...I need a TV or radio on to distract me....Others may find the TV annoying and prevent them from falling asleep...The snoring thing is a big deal as well...If you cant get proper sleep, then you will be miserable... I get that its probably most ideal to be together, but that doesn't mean that it cant be done any other way.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 Indeed. TFY and I would need separate rooms. His audio would keep me awake and my snoring would bother him too. But if all else was good, then perhaps it's a reasonable sacrifice. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 It used to be extremely common if you were rich enough! For that matter, some married couples still live in separate HOUSES. Especially if they're on second marriages and one or both have kids. It can be hard to mesh two adults with fully established lives and kids who are used to having their own spaces and the run of the house all into one small property. I've heard of several couples who got married but decided to keep living separately until the kids grew up and moved out (and then they could both sell their homes and buy a new one together). Having separate bedrooms means that you both have your own space to decorate as you see fit and to withdraw into if you need private time, but you also have a choice of more beds to have sex and snuggle in when you want to. It's also helpful if one person snores horribly or if the two people need to keep slightly different schedules for work purposes and therefore can't sleep the same hours. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 In my 20s I lived with a BF. We has separate bedrooms. We also had an amazing sex life in both frequency & variety. We just didn't like sleeping with another person DH & I bought a really big bed. He usually comes to sleep after me but when we turn in together we connect by our ankles because neither of us are fans of being wrapped around the other for sleeping. In the winter though we do cuddle for a few minutes for warmth. It's not a lack of love or lust just a desire for a good night's sleep. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 (edited) Haaaa, easy peasy. We sometimes use 2 rooms l'm often up all night, she needs heaps of sleep. We don't always sleep separate about 50 50. But we always spend a few hours together in one or the other first usually if we do sleep separate later. And if we do sleep separate that night we also have morning visits, and middle of the night visits and anytime visits haha.. Edited June 24, 2019 by chillii 3 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 Sleeping and having sex are two different things. It is possible to love someone, enjoy having sex with them, but not enjoy sleeping with them. If they snore, then sleeping with them can be a nightmare. Yes it's wonderful to cuddle after sex and to sleep with the guy you love but if he is the kind who tosses and turns during the night, wakes up a lot, pulls the covers off all the time ... then there is case for sleeping in a different bed. I'd rather sleep in the same bed as a partner, but if we had to sleep separately for reasons of comfort, then maybe that would be better than losing sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 Snoring? He may need to be evaluated for a CPAP. We like to sleep together so will find ways to make that work if there is a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 Yeah l do prefer it she's beautiful to sleep with but it is awkward sometimes is all . l do miss climbing into bed again later at God knows whatever hour and being able to grab my handful of woman though haha, if we are separate that night. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 Some people find that their sleep patterns get worse as they get older and that sleeping with a partner disturbs them. My husband can fall asleep at the drop of a hat and then makes sounds rivalling the lead character out of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. He also grinds his teeth, kicks and waves his arms about. We got a king-size bed, he got a mouthguard from the dentist and has tried not to fall asleep on his back but even so, a good night's sleep in the same bed as him is impossible. Add to that the fact that I am a 'lark' and he is an 'owl' so sleepwise we just aren't campatible. Now we not only have separate beds but separate rooms and it's bliss to get a good night's restful sleep. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 I have an older woman friend that says that she and her partner sleep in separate beds. Its because the man snores. She asked if my parents sleep in separate beds. I said no. My thing is this. She and her partner are in their 60's. I don't pry into their sex life or anything like that. My thing is if your younger between 20-60. How does that work having separate beds? I am not saying all couple are having sex staying in the same bed. I can't see how having separate beds can be great for a relationship and if things fall off the rails. Having separate beds will help the unbinding process as a couple. I am curious about this too. I can't quite figure out how it works. I know there are happy couples who sleep separately but I'm just having trouble applying that to myself. Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 Sleeping and having sex are two different things. It is possible to love someone, enjoy having sex with them, but not enjoy sleeping with them. If they snore, then sleeping with them can be a nightmare. Yes it's wonderful to cuddle after sex and to sleep with the guy you love but if he is the kind who tosses and turns during the night, wakes up a lot, pulls the covers off all the time ... then there is case for sleeping in a different bed. I'd rather sleep in the same bed as a partner, but if we had to sleep separately for reasons of comfort, then maybe that would be better than losing sleep. How do you exit the bedroom after sex though, without ruining the moment or seeming cold? How do people who like to fall asleep together (i.e. touching each other) then wake the other up once they start snoring to change beds? If you have two different beds, do you say goodnight to each other before bed and go your separate rooms? It just seems odd to me. I am curious about the logistics. Link to post Share on other sites
crispytoast Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 You know how the saying goes, "a couple that cums together sleeps together" Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 How do you exit the bedroom after sex though, without ruining the moment or seeming cold? How do people who like to fall asleep together (i.e. touching each other) then wake the other up once they start snoring to change beds? If you have two different beds, do you say goodnight to each other before bed and go your separate rooms? It just seems odd to me. I am curious about the logistics. I actually always wondered the opposite - how do people just fall asleep immediately after sex? If we've had a good session, we're almost certainly sweaty, and there's usually a good bit of squirt and/or cum and/or lube on the sheets. We always need to shower after, and the majority of the time some cleanup needs to be done for the bed - if there's only a bit of fluids on it we'll spot clean, but otherwise the sheets all need to be changed. Plus as a UTI-prone woman I need to pee and take my cranberry pill afterwards. So, we do sleep in the same bed, but sex > sleep literally never happens for us. We'll cuddle immediately after sex, but getting up and leaving the room afterwards (typically to the shower together) is a normal part of the process for us. Link to post Share on other sites
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