Springsummer Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 (edited) I can't work under this woman any longer. Previously, I think she went out of her way to sabotage me and now she scolded and insulted me when I actually gave very good suggestion, but it frustrated her because she didn't know how it is done. last year, in one meeting she recounted the people who used to work in the team and she talked to herself they all left because of me? I can confirm to that long time ago. I only started 1.5 years ago and already the second longest serving member. I guess the reason I linger and hang on for this long is, like I mentioned in this forum that I find a man who work in the same floor attractive. and yet, he is still a pipe dream.Sometimes I don't even run into him for weeks, if I do, all just quickly walk by scenarios. If I don't leave asap, I suspect I will get ulcer or mental soon. I sent my resume to internal postings and got an email from another department asking when I can go for interview the next day. so my skills are in demand and I know the team need me and she wants me to do the job. but too bad, you treat me like that and expect me to stay? she must think I am a doormat or something? So, I just walk away from this? along with my pipe dream? If you were me, what would you do? oh, well, who knows maybe I can find another attractive one in a new place and actually have a chance to talk to and get to know that person? Edited June 2, 2019 by Springsummer Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 Walk away, because no job is really worth risking your health over. You've got to do what's best for you in this case. And as far as he goes, make any and every effort to go see him and get to know him. It's certainly worth a shot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 oh, well, who knows maybe I can find another attractive one in a new place and actually have a chance to talk to and get to know that person? What does this have to do with anything job related? Have you blurred the lines seperating personal and professional at work? Usually when you start working for a company and there are no long term staff there it's a bad sign. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 Yeah it reminds me of where l live , moved here 10 yrs ago. First thing asking around we found was that people come here and for some reason just stay, and stay and stay. And now l see why. Gotta be a bad sign with your company, and forget the pipe dream it'll only mess you up, same with your boss, people like that are just bad for ya. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted June 2, 2019 Author Share Posted June 2, 2019 What does this have to do with anything job related? Have you blurred the lines seperating personal and professional at work? Usually when you start working for a company and there are no long term staff there it's a bad sign. it seems as long as people don't work in the same team and don't work together, then it's ok? I didn't know. I was hooked for the private a few hours a week second official language training and promising promotion...so now you know, it's the fed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted June 2, 2019 Author Share Posted June 2, 2019 Walk away, because no job is really worth risking your health over. You've got to do what's best for you in this case. And as far as he goes, make any and every effort to go see him and get to know him. It's certainly worth a shot. that's what I think to. but I can't adjust my mood at will. My emotional and physical well being still get affected. I can take at least 4 weeks of vacation, but being single, I have no clue where to go. I really need to get away though. make effort to see him? wow, can't do that. that's too obvious. I don't even know his name. I prefer someone like me as much as I like him. so him making no effort tells everything I need to know, I suppose. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 Move to the job you will be more comfortable in. As far as men go, try to avoid falling for some guy based on nothing more than his appearance. Lining over someone who isn’t interested in return is such a waste of your time. Instead, work on learning to be comfortable with men in general - and you never know who you may get to meet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted June 2, 2019 Author Share Posted June 2, 2019 Lining over someone who isn’t interested in return is such a waste of your time. Instead, work on learning to be comfortable with men in general - and you never know who you may get to meet. The thing is I don't know for sure he is not interested. I think I am quite comfortable with men in general, just as comfortable as with anyone else...as long as I am not attracted to the man, which is once in a blue moon thing that I find a man attractive. Can anyone act normal and comfortable with someone they really attracted to? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 it seems as long as people don't work in the same team and don't work together, then it's ok? If you're asking me then the answer is no. You should never mix work and dating. You don't want to be that person that has dated (slept) with half the department. If you want to be taken seriously at work, if you want advancement then date outside of work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted June 2, 2019 Author Share Posted June 2, 2019 (edited) If you're asking me then the answer is no. You should never mix work and dating. You don't want to be that person that has dated (slept) with half the department. If you want to be taken seriously at work, if you want advancement then date outside of work. I think that's preposterous. I have only find 1 attractive in the whole department, so how it is that I have dated half of the dept? sorry, I grew up in a different culture, sleeping with anyone before marriage is not something we are comfortable with, let along sleep around. Edited June 2, 2019 by Springsummer 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 The thing is I don't know for sure he is not interested. I think Basil's point is, you don't know anything about him, name included. So you're not leaving much behind by pursuing a different job in a more comfortable environment... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 The thing is I don't know for sure he is not interested. <snip> Can anyone act normal and comfortable with someone they really attracted to? If he was interested, he'd find a way to make conversation with you. You'd know his name and about his life and he would know things about you. As none of this is happening, it's safe to assume he's not interested. And yes, many (if not most) can act normal and comfortable with someone they are attracted to. They converse, joke and flirt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 If he was interested, he'd find a way to make conversation with you. You'd know his name and about his life and he would know things about you. As none of this is happening, it's safe to assume he's not interested. And yes, many (if not most) can act normal and comfortable with someone they are attracted to. They converse, joke and flirt. I am interested, but I haven't found a way to make a conversation or even how to find out his name. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 But if he isn't interested in return, you'd be stalling moving from your old job for a relationship which wouldn't happen. Please don't waste your life on fantasies. Link to post Share on other sites
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