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Needy boyfriend


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Old 14th March 2019, 2:52 PM   #16
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But you're right, I am content to leave it as is.
For many guys in his situation, you'd be a low-maintenance dream come true.

Given your priorities, you may simply be with the wrong partner...

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Old 14th March 2019, 5:17 PM   #17
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Honestly, I don't either. The thought of marrying him is suffocating.
You should remain in a relationship with a person who has flaws you can accept. This statement you made said it all. You should breakup. The right thing for you and him is to breakup.

If this man wants to marry eventually It would be in his best interest and your best interest to let each other go just based on this statement alone. If either want to eventually marry and one or both can't see each other married then your literally wasting each other's time.

Would you want to stay with a boyfriend who felt that way about you? "She is too xyz. The thought of marrying her is xyz. She is a really good girlfriend. I like the benefits of being with her but man she is xyz. She is good enough to be my girlfriend because of the way she treats me and I don't want to let that go. But I can't see her as my wife" You wouldn't like that if you found out this is how your boyfriend thinks of you especially if you want the option to get married. You would probably want him to be honest and breakup because you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who sees you like that deep down. So do the right thing and let him go and let him find someone who would be thrilled to marry him and you go find someone you would be thrilled to marry (if you even want to get married)

Your not wrong for how you feel but staying with him with thoughts like that is not really fair to him. It's very hurtful to have a partner that you think want the same things and tell you lovely things in your face and act like they are as in love with you and accept you but they don't tell you how they really feel and they have it deep inside and it comes out in other ways that's hurtful instead of having the balls to just breakup all because that partner doesn't want to be alone. It's understandable but it's extremely selfish to the other partner. And the longer you stick the more devasting it will be when you really can't take it anymore and leave.

And I get it. If this person is 95% wonderful but can't stand 5% why throw away the person for just 5%? Well if the 5% is truly "can't stand" to the point that the thought of spending the rest of your life is horrible? Then you got to throw it away! It should be 80-95% wonderful and 20-5% don't like/get on my f*ckin nerves but I can and will deal with it.
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Old 14th March 2019, 6:40 PM   #18
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For many guys in his situation, you'd be a low-maintenance dream come true.
Mr. Lucky
You'd be shocked at just how many Stage IV clingers there ARE out there in this age group (45+).

When I was in my late 40's and dating again after a long-term relationship breakup, I wasn't looking for anything serious or long-term from anyone. I'd even indicated that in my dating profile. Hell, I thought I was a dream girl, not making demands on anyone and the guys I met tended to agree with that....until two or three dates in and suddenly, they all wanted to pull me off the market and/or have the 'talk' with me.

None of that serious stuff was coming from ME - it was coming from the guys. I had several dump me because I wouldn't commit to them. Go figure.

OP, unfortunately, you've just got yourself one of the many Stage IV clingers out there. They're everywhere. You really can't avoid them.
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Old 14th March 2019, 7:12 PM   #19
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what do you mean by "Stage IV"?
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Old 15th March 2019, 12:30 AM   #20
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what do you mean by "Stage IV"?
They've passed "Stage III"...

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Old 18th March 2019, 4:07 PM   #21
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I think you're both insecure. Him for being clingy, you for not breaking up with someone who a) wants more out of the relationship than you and b) complaining about it to the point of being turned off by him. At least he's showing what he wants while you're stringing him along.
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Old 18th March 2019, 10:08 PM   #22
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why is he labelled as clingy? please do tell
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Old 18th March 2019, 10:58 PM   #23
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Might be that you'll just have to move on. From what I've seen this is not something that's going to go away and your resentment will just build over time.
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Old 19th March 2019, 2:18 PM   #24
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why is he labelled as clingy? please do tell
Needy - needs constant attention and reassurance.
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