pepperbird Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 This is a post directed at all those who think they can cheat and never be caught. I am here to tell you that especially given the burgeoning DNA testing market, more and more family secrets are coming out. I am in a group online that discusses a variety of topics, and someone brought this one up. Seems she had been interested in building her fmaily tree on Ancestry, and she ordered a DNA testing kit. It arrived, she followed the procedure and got her results back a few weeks later. She went to visit her mom and dad so they could see the results together...all excited to see their familiy's history. Now just imagine. She's in her 50's, her parents are in their late 70's, and guess what she found out while sitting there with both her parents? Surprise! She has two half brothers, fathered with another woman. I can;t imagine how awful that situation must have been. I expect her dad thought that his stepping out on her mom would never be discovered! Out of interest, I did a bit of looking, and this is actually not uncommon. I can't imagine how painful that would be for all three involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Betrayed&Stayed Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 Yep. Theres a thread over on in the Family section. Horrible situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 Ooofffff. The law of unintended consequences I suppose. I cannot imagine what her mom feels. And also, imagine finding out at that age of betrayals. Things always have a way of coming out; it is so sad. On a different note, but along with the topic, my xWH cheated on me. And when I found out, he tried to hide everything. Acted as the best man ever. When I found out the entire truth, I divorced him. I'm dating someone new, but it is almost impossible to feel secure, despite what he does. I'm afraid I will push him away and feel as if I will never be not broken that I could have a sucessful relationship. People dont seem to care about the damage they do to others. They just think about getting their jollies off. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 One of many relevant internet searches on this topic: "wsj two sisters bought DNA kits. the results blew apart their family" Link to post Share on other sites
Author pepperbird Posted February 16, 2019 Author Share Posted February 16, 2019 I've done a bit of looking, and there are lots of these stories. Men finding out a child they raised in not their genetic child, women finding out their husband had affairs etc. There is no good way to find out these things, but getting it as an out of the blue DNA surprise sounds just awful. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 And in rarer cases it's not even about cheating - fertility clinic mistakes, even the occasional swapped at birth (that's SUPER rare but it has happened and there was a news story about someone finding it all out through one of these gene-testing services). The worst story I heard, though, was the man who agreed to his wife having fertility treatments because his sperm count was low, but then managed to convince himself that their son was his 'miracle baby', until after raising his son for sixteen years, had a fight with the kid, then had him tested, 'found out' that the boy was "another man's son", and immediately walked out on his family. That poor kid. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 I doubt they care. Cheaters only care about their immediate gratification. Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 (edited) wow... they really should call this place HateShack cause their isn't much love with judgmental people like you here. I wonder why are you even here? Is it just to make people feel worst than they already do? Who are you? Do you walk on water? Are you blameless? Are you free of sin? I am understanding why the owner of this site has ditched it. I haven't really been able to talk about why I came here to start with because of all the hate you are spreading around here. Seriously... take another look at how you are coming across to people. Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Merge 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pepperbird Posted February 18, 2019 Author Share Posted February 18, 2019 (edited) wow... they really should call this place HateShack cause their isn't much love with judgmental people like you here. I wonder why are you even here? Is it just to make people feel worst than they already do? Who are you? Do you walk on water? Are you blameless? Are you free of sin? I am understanding why the owner of this site has ditched it. See, here's the thing. I'm thinking about the kids here. Kids who are now adults and finding out the "who" they thought they were is a sham. If you want to see true heartbreak, try looking up some of the stories about this online. It's awful! Pretending that affairs are all about rainbows and unicorns and the only one who suffers is the ow or om doesn't make much sense. Affairs have a huge fallout, and it goes well beyond the pain of the om/ow. btw...what you are reading on here as "judgement" is born from he pain of infidelity. It's the truth. Calling the reality "judgement" doesn't change a thing, except maybe to make you feel better. Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix spacing Link to post Share on other sites
Author pepperbird Posted February 18, 2019 Author Share Posted February 18, 2019 And in rarer cases it's not even about cheating - fertility clinic mistakes, even the occasional swapped at birth (that's SUPER rare but it has happened and there was a news story about someone finding it all out through one of these gene-testing services). The worst story I heard, though, was the man who agreed to his wife having fertility treatments because his sperm count was low, but then managed to convince himself that their son was his 'miracle baby', until after raising his son for sixteen years, had a fight with the kid, then had him tested, 'found out' that the boy was "another man's son", and immediately walked out on his family. That poor kid. I was adopted, and am in several "adoptee" groups for people trying to find their biological parents. One has several members who were conceived with the help of a fertility clinic. They both live in the same small town, and surprise! Seems they have the same biological father...just like several others. The technology seems to be moving faster than the law. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 I was adopted, and am in several "adoptee" groups for people trying to find their biological parents. One has several members who were conceived with the help of a fertility clinic. They both live in the same small town, and surprise! Seems they have the same biological father...just like several others. The technology seems to be moving faster than the law. One of these days people will bring back the idea of requiring blood tests before marriage licenses just to ensure people aren't accidentally related. Although I guess these days that might be a bit late, not as many people wait until after they're married to conceive. Link to post Share on other sites
Prudence V Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 This is a post directed at all those who think they can cheat and never be caught. <snip> Out of interest, I did a bit of looking, and this is actually not uncommon. I imagine it is pretty uncommon. I don’t personally know anyone who had an A and fell pregnant, aside from my mother - which was way back in the dark ages. These days, most As involve contraception and care. Even on these boards, very few APs post about children conceived through infidelity. I’m sure it’s far more of an issue for people conceived in the 50s and 60s, than it is now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 It's common in the sense that it's happened to many people throughout time. Not common in the sense of, like "yeah, 50% of babies are the result of secret affairs" because that's obviously silly. But if something happens to only one person in a thousand, think about how many thousands there are in the country. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 1 in 6 kids born into marriage are not fathered by the husband. Odd discovery...a California high school sophomore was given an assignment to find her blood type, really interested in the subject she goes home and asks her parents what theirs was, the next day at school she finally go hers....oops, no way her father was her father. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pepperbird Posted February 19, 2019 Author Share Posted February 19, 2019 (edited) I imagine it is pretty uncommon. I don’t personally know anyone who had an A and fell pregnant, aside from my mother - which was way back in the dark ages. These days, most As involve contraception and care. Even on these boards, very few APs post about children conceived through infidelity. I’m sure it’s far more of an issue for people conceived in the 50s and 60s, than it is now. I highly doubt people are any different when it comes to infidelity now than they were in 50's and 60's. Finding out that the person who raised them is not their biological parent has been really awful for a lot of people, even ones today. Here are just a few media articles, and yes, they are about people of all ages, and I can assure you, these now adult children are not blase about finding this out. To them, their whole life is different. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/sep/18/your-fathers-not-your-father-when-dna-tests-reveal-more-than-you-bargained-for https://www.cnbc.com/2017/12/10/dna-tests-can-reveal-paternity-surprises.html https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/07/dna-test-misattributed-paternity/562928/ High ROH | Kitty Cooper's Blog ( her posts are very interesting. Yes, it's a blog, but Ms. Cooper is also a geneticist, so I take her at her word.) Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix spacing Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 Even on these boards, very few APs post about children conceived through infidelity. I think that is because many of those APs aren't on infidelity boards because they are perfectly comfortable with what they are doing. Link to post Share on other sites
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