Keeper216 Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Hi first time poster and to be honest probably my only post. Just wanted to get a third parties view on this goodbye letter to a friend. It won't actually be a letter more of a Facebook message mainly because my handwriting is garbage. I am posting this from my phone. So I apologize about it looking funny. I have been thinking for the last few days. I have realized that I have been selfish. I shouldn't have started messaging you again. I don't want to get in the way of you being happy. I don't want to be an argument between you and your fiance. Of all the people I have seen you with he is the only person I think you really actually love. Everyone else it was more have a passionate love. A candle love. With him your love is more like a flower. Something that takes work and commitment. Something that, if nurtured, will be more beautiful then any boring candle. I also have to apologize. I have been lying to you for awhile. I didn't mean too. I just needed to talk to you, my best friend. There is no one else I trust more. I shouldn't have even talked about it though. I should have just swallowed my heart. But I have always had trouble keep my emotions from you even over messages. So I found a work around. I talked to you, my best friend, about my issues. Not you the one I had issues about. I know that doesn't make sense. It barely makes sense in my head. But it made barely enough sense to allow me to split my emotions and my need to get things off my chest apart. It worked....for awhile at least. But my emotions didn't want to be sidelined anymore and they kept poking through. I am sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable or awakward. Or said something that I really shouldn't have. I know I tend to be almost obsessed about things. Or that I say things that most people wouldn't say. All I wanted to do was to make you smile. I have no other motivation. When interacting with you I honestly have no ulterior motive. I don't regret meeting you. You opened me up to so many things. Before I met you I did what anyone told me to do. Not because I actually wanted to do it but because they wanted me to do it. But after meeting you...well I basically still do the same thing but I now do it to see people smile. Making other people happy makes me happy. Meeting you taught me that. Meeting you opened me up to emotions I never even thought I could have. Meeting you gave me the great moments so far in my life. Granted meeting you has also gave me some of my lowest lows but life can't be fulfilling without both. But even at my lowest point I never blamed you. How could I? You did nothing but exisit. Actually I want to thank you. I think without you I would have been a very dull person. I think that's why I was kind of obsessed with you. Thinking about it I don't know if anyone could actually call it obsession. All I have ever wanted has to make you happy. Even if that ment letting you go or staying silent and out of the way. Even when staying silent was going against everything the world had taught me. I know being friends with me probably hasn't been easy. I tend to be dramatic and kind of whiny. But I think you don't need me anymore. Although I don't know if you ever really needed me. I think I needed you more then you needed me. I know this is coming out of nowhere and this is probably all a chaotic mess that rambles alot. But I don't think goodbye letters really have a proper format or are suppose to make complete sense. I think all that they are suppose to do is soften the blow of leaving. Rest assure though. This is NOT a suicide letter. It's more of a it's been nice knowing you letter. I hate saying goodbye. I utterly loathe it. It's why I have always just passively let friends go. But you are special. You matter to me more then any other person I have ever met. I wont just passively let you go. I'll do it properly. Even if it hurts. I think that's for the best though. If goodbyes were easy people would say them more often. I promise I won't ever forget you. I mean how could I. You are the only person in the world I actually love. Goodbye Marissa. Link to post Share on other sites
Adiron Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Too many "I"s. It's all about you. Nobody wants to read so much stuff about another person. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Best friend stuff should be done face to face IMO. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Keeper216 Posted June 25, 2018 Author Share Posted June 25, 2018 I don't know how else to word it. It is a good bye letter. I am the reason our friendship is ending. I can't meet with her in person she lives over an hour away now and her fiancee hates me. Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 You want the honest truth? This letter comes across as way too over the top, full of rambling thoughts and desperation. Making comparisons between her passionate loves and current relationship is completely inappropriate in this context, as is the comment about it not being a suicide letter. Even mentioning something that extreme comes across as seeking some sort of a reaction, which is an unfair thing to do to a friend. I know it is hard when you have to let go of someone you really care about. There are a lot of emotions to process and work through, but this letter is too much, especially considering she is engaged to another man. She doesn't need to hear this, and neither does he. Writing it out might be therapeutic for you, but I would strongly advise you against sending it. Many people find it a useful tool to write their feelings down and keep it private or burn it. It would be more caring to simply send her a short message telling her that out of respect for her relationship, you are going to back off, and wish her the best. At the end of the day it is your decision. I just hope you consider handling it a bit differently. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Too much passion on your part. I realise this is hurting you, but you shouldn't be sharing that hurt with your friend. How about "I am writing to apologise for overstepping a boundary. I need to do the right thing and back out of your life. I wish you well" Sign off with simply your name. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
maxi105 Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 hi Marissa, I don't have a great deal of time left for this post im sorry I cant give you more but I will give you the time I have to reply quickly - so I hope that is ok....I spent a lot of time replying to something that now ive read yours I wish I had put the time in to seeing this first. ok, I think that your person is trying to say goodbye to you in a way that they need to. I think they are someone who might be a bit nervous of confrontation but is still thoughtful enough to want to tell you that you were someone special (whilst it lasted) but that and those feelings have really gone for good now. I don't think this was an easy letter for the person to write to you, but any letter is one that someone has taken the time and trouble to communicate something to you that they need to say, so from that point of view I hope you wont dismiss it altogether, even if you are hurting from what is seaid. I think this person did love you, but I think they alos realise that the love they have is NO LONGER ENOUGH for them to want to continue this with you, I think because they know that they also know that they have to let you go. I think the stuff about the ex's may or may not be right ...only you know that for sure, but I think what they are really saying is the sparks arenet there and maybe it is easier for them to relate about someone that they know you loved as well and maybe they saw that love and regret that it is not how you both are still. oh...I get it...are you asking us to say what we think about a letter that you are wanting to write to someone??? if that is the case...then if you can just talk to them. I think they deserve that if they are a good, decent person. if the letter is coming from you then it comes over a bit to thought and as an easy way out in s small way.. I don't get the fiancé connection...what is gong on in that bit...are you a friend in love with someone who already has a partner???? look, I will have a look at this tomorrow as im really low on time, I think other have given good advice but as ive got the wrong angle here I don't want to say this or that ...but my heart is telling me for your real closure and a chance to say goodbye properly and to accept the other person must go too from your life I think you need to make that 1 hour trip one to one without the angry boyfriend and just talk...it will be very upsetting for you when you leave, but it will start to help the grieving process for you which will make it something actually real for your emotional state to start to help you let go. it sounds a bit comicated or unrequited if she already has a partner, but I admire you wanting to write your feelings and communicate to her, but I think you ought to talk and help move on and cleanse you conscious an dheart...ok, sorry..times up take care , il try to check in Friday if ic an..see ya, maxi. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 I swear I would just send a card saying "I'm sorry" than your letter. It is too long and most people don't want to read a long drawn out apology. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 Put that into a diary because no one will care more about that letter than yourself. Just say goodbye to her and leave it at that. If she wants to get ahold of you, she knows how. In fact, depending on how things went, you may not even need to say goodbye. If she said goodbye to you, just let her go and leave it alone! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 25, 2018 Share Posted June 25, 2018 I can't meet with her in person she lives over an hour away now and her fiancee hates me. I think what others are gently suggesting is, the letter shouldn't be about your feelings, it should be about the understanding you have that you've acted inappropriately. She's not single, she's in a relationship and you're sorry you haven't respected that. Three, four lines tops. Keep it simple and direct... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 You wrote that letter for yourself. Read it, and then toss it. Link to post Share on other sites
OldSoulB Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 And this is why, ladies and gentlemen, men and women can't be friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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