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Can someone explain 'breadcrumbs'?


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Old 3rd January 2018, 2:40 AM   #1
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Can someone explain 'breadcrumbs'?

I keep seeing comments about exes throwing out breadcrumbs. But I don't think I really understand it.

To lure a bird, we throw breadcrumbs so that they get close enough to catch. Now, I understand throwing metaphorical breadcrumbs to get an ex back - it's a good analogy.

But what about when the "breadcrumb" they throw isn't about getting the ex back? It might be just a "thought I'd say Hi" or liking of a FB post and people are calling it breadcrumbs. Is it really still a 'breadcrumb' if they aren't trying to lure you back?
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Old 3rd January 2018, 5:30 AM   #2
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Regardless of the intention, it can lure you back towards your ex when you are trying to move on in the opposite direction. But now you want to keep following the breadcrumbs to see where they lead. Maybe it trails off to nothing, maybe a fresh new loaf of bread, starting over. Or maybe it is still mouldy and was meant to be discarded. Those who are hurt by a breakup might see any bit of contact as hope for reconciliation, so any tiny thing could be considered a bread crumb.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 5:37 AM   #3
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Ah, so it's not the intention of the contact that matters, it's the expectation on the other end. They may not be throwing a breadcrumb, but the hurt party may perceive it as a breadcrumb.

Last edited by basil67; 3rd January 2018 at 5:43 AM..
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Old 3rd January 2018, 8:26 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by smiley1 View Post
Or maybe it is still mouldy and was meant to be discarded.
This bit made me laugh out loud! Haha!
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Old 3rd January 2018, 11:14 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by basil67 View Post
To lure a bird, we throw breadcrumbs so that they get close enough to catch. Now, I understand throwing metaphorical breadcrumbs to get an ex back - it's a good analogy.
Ah but that's not the analogy that is intended, at least as far as I understand it.

It's intended to be the analogy of someone eating a meal at a table. They are eating with their new partner / new family / new life. As they are cutting the bread they drop a few breadcrumbs (sometimes accidentally, sometimes on purpose) onto the floor to keep the ex (the ever-loyal puppy dog) hanging around at their feet and begging for more, unable to moving on, clinging to the hope that one day they will invite them back to the table and share a full meal once more.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 2:17 PM   #6
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I understand "breadcrumbs" as slang, on a forum like LS, to refer to a person receiving bits and pieces of someone's attention or emotional investment while another gets the metaphoric loaf. I think PNP summed up its origin quite well. Colloquially, breadcrumbs is used in the context of a navigation trail, especially in program/application interfaces. I believe its origin comes from the trail of bread crumbs left by Hansel and Gretel.

Is it still a breadcrumb without the intent, and do I believe that most want to keep their exes strung along? No. I agree with smiley that most want to interpret any act as a gesture of reconciliation because it protects their ego. By viewing any act through a narcissistic lens, it keeps the hope alive and burning rather than succumbing to the chill of reality's icy indifference.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 6:00 PM   #7
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It's usually when a dumper reaches out with some innocuous comment like "hey" or "what's up?" The dumpee thinks its a sign that the dumper wants them back.


IMO they are breadcrumbs -- meaning meaningless throw away comments designed to ease the dumper's guilt because in their minds they are being friendly to somebody they hurt -- unless they say things like "I regret our BU" or "do you want to meet so we can talk?" which is some indication that reconciliation is possible.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 6:13 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
It's usually when a dumper reaches out with some innocuous comment like "hey" or "what's up?" The dumpee thinks its a sign that the dumper wants them back.


IMO they are breadcrumbs -- meaning meaningless throw away comments designed to ease the dumper's guilt because in their minds they are being friendly to somebody they hurt -- unless they say things like "I regret our BU" or "do you want to meet so we can talk?" which is some indication that reconciliation is possible.
My take also.

Until and unless the person has reached out to you - in person for a chit chat. Sending texts is cheap and maybe thats breadcrumbs. Its pretty rare to meet up again weeks or even months after a BU but when that does happen, there is some glimmer of hope for the dumpee.

There are a lot of variable, not every BU is awful. So it may just be meeting as ''friends''. You are usually being told soon enough or get signs in a way or another that they maybe want you back.
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