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Should Life Mating Be Hard

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Old 9th November 2017, 4:20 PM   #1
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Should Life Mating Be Hard

We are all on here on a daily basis trying to figure out our love lives. Most here to vent, so we don't burden our family/friends all the time with our frustration

Is it really that hard to find someone. Or are we all on here super pickey.

Its not like I want some super rich super modal who cators to my very whim.
Is it really looks or money or something intangible that we can't define. I get so burnt out from dating that to even approch or make the effort is taxing to me.

I don't feel I am destined to be alone. I just don't understand why things of this nature are hard these days. One has to really think about this side of life. Go along with anything and you may be taken for a ride.

At 46. I am at a crossroads. Do I even want to have kids or marriage. Or do I just live a single life and be content. I don't mind being single. I just don't like the rituals of dating and trying to find a great love match.
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Old 9th November 2017, 4:26 PM   #2
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It's OK to take a break from it . It can be very stressful. And time consuming. And expensive.
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Old 9th November 2017, 4:46 PM   #3
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I don't think it should be hard. I have friends divorcing. I have others that are reaching the 20 yr mark and one that is at 26 yrs as a couple and 21 married.

I don't know how one couple stays together. The other falls apart and the one that is at 26 yrs have no kids. The 29 yr together have kids. Don't go into counseling.

I just shake my head and feel like I really have to be super alert with who I am. I know people change, but I don't know why this has to be so extreem. I can see being really restless in your teen and early 20's. Mid to late 40's. Thats another thing.

I think as long as I have a woman that wants loving affection and interesting conversation and we do social/recrational activities. Then all is good. The only thing I am not gung ho is about kids. I don't want to bring a life into this world until we are gelled as a couple. Whats the point of that.

Its really hard not to be jaded. I have taken a break I guess. There is no major woman on the horizon now. Unless some woman likes me and makes a move on me.
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Old 9th November 2017, 5:05 PM   #4
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As someone who's never found dating to be difficult, I frequently read posts where people appear to be far too picky. Or who don't have time. Or who are unwilling to take an emotional risk. Or who make continual bad choices.

The worst of all are those who date to get over a broken heart. Using an unsuspecting stranger who's looking for love when you're too damaged to even consider a long term thing is reprehensible.
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Old 9th November 2017, 5:14 PM   #5
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Some people simply enjoy the complexity of human interaction and discussing it. Life mating is as hard or as easy as we make it. IMO, people, and I'll include myself in that group, who tend to analyze and process things in great detail tend to have more challenges in getting through the process than those who take a more simple and superficial approach.

From my perspective as a guy watching guys, having friends who are guys, being married as a guy, the guys who see a cute girl, get a hard-on, ask her out and get right to mating are generally the most successful. The guys who think about it (yup, me), not so much. Keep the rules simple, lead with the genital signals and don't over-think.
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Old 9th November 2017, 5:15 PM   #6
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Life mating?

Hmm, well that terminology points to why it is so complicated.

Animals, mate all of the time, no big deal. Humans have mated for thousands of years, so easy, no big deal. But mating for animals and people of the past has very little to do with modern relationships...

Reason for that is we have something that is a recent creation and generally only applies to humans and our house pets... leisure time.

In the old days, if you worked all day, or hunted for food all day depending on how far you go back, you didn't really have to have a lot in common with your spouse.

Life these days is simpler and more complex at the same time. We have leisure time, but also a wider array of responsibilities than ever before. Raising kids in 2017 you will have to make a lot more choices than previous generations had to make while raising kids... that alone can be enough to tear couples apart.

So yes, with human life this complicated, relationships and mating will also be that complicated.
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