wmacbride Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 If you are married, what is something your husband or wife did for you that really made you smile? Was it a gift, something they did that was surprised and unexpected, or is it something as simple as acting like a kid and having fun "playing" with them ( like joking around, being silly together sometimes, etc.) ? If you are a husband or wife, what do you do each day to show your spouse you care? I really think that it can be easy to get really bogged down in day to day life and all the things you have to do, issues with kids or family, work issues etc. . One forgets that marriage is, at its core, about two people who loved each other enough to want to spend the rest of their lives with one another. It can be really easy to forget that, like a plant, love needs to be tended and cared for. Everyone's relationship is different, but my spouse and I have found that it's so important to have "fun' with each other, as we are more than just husband and wife, we are each other's best friend. ( please, don't turn this thread into a negative one. If you want to gripe about your spouse, this may not be the right thread for you) Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 My wife came to me out of a long term very physical and emotionally abusive marriage. One way I show her love everyday is I make sure I am gentle spoken with her and attentive to what she has to say and polite by all means. I do not yell, argue, beat, bully or throw her against walls as she endured before. I give her a safe loving relationship in her life to enjoy. I came to her from an emotionally abusive and controlling long term sexless marriage. She showers me daily with kindness and respect. She does not yell, nag and has never used sex as a weapon. On the contrary a notable thing that means a lot to me is for 20 years she initiates sex to start each day. Truly we are joined at the hip. She is the most impressive and beautiful soul I have ever known. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wmacbride Posted July 26, 2017 Author Share Posted July 26, 2017 My wife came to me out of a long term very physical and emotionally abusive marriage. One way I show her love everyday is I make sure I am gentle spoken with her and attentive to what she has to say and polite by all means. I do not yell, argue, beat, bully or throw her against walls as she endured before. I give her a safe loving relationship in her life to enjoy. I came to her from an emotionally abusive and controlling long term sexless marriage. She showers me daily with kindness and respect. She does not yell, nag and has never used sex as a weapon. On the contrary a notable thing that means a lot to me is for 20 years she initiates sex to start each day. Truly we are joined at the hip. She is the most impressive and beautiful soul I have ever known. You have given her a place here she can feel safe, and it sounds like you she also given her a chance to grow in your relationship. That is a gift that is wonderful beyond words ( I've been in a long term relationship like your wife's, but I was just a kid and we weren't married) Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 ( please, don't turn this thread into a negative one. If you want to gripe about your spouse, this may not be the right thread for you) Not quite the answer you are looking for, but when all has been done and destroyed, looking back now, the greatest gift my husband could have given me over the decade and half of marriage would have been Honesty. Unconditional honesty. He gave lots of gifts, he did lots of things--but always failed to understand that what I needed and wanted the most was absolute honesty. Without honesty, the rest of the "gifts" are meaningless. I am not trying to gripe about my ex-spouse, but my point is, that the most precious gift that you can value is often the most subtle, invisible, unobservable, and immeasurable one. It's also often the gift whose value you can truly appreciate only when you don't have it. Ironic. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 i think the best i have ever felt in a long term relationship was when my partner would understand me,when i felt i could tell him anything and him take the time to understand my perspective...and i guess it wasnt easy to understand me......my thought processes are often long and ...detailed.........but i felt respected and ....cherished.....by simply this... the other side of the serious coin is when we could put aside the seriousness of life...and just have fun...to do silly things and giggle.....even though the trials were there to come back to ...just to have time out together reconnect to have fun to laugh...make love....whatever just be there one on one......and then go back and face those life lessons together...stronger...more stoic.....refreshed.....he took photos once when we on break away from reality......of a sunrise over water a panoramic shot from our holiday.......calm peaceful...i can bring up that photo anytime i want i often do...just close my eyes...its all i have to do.....even when the fact is...i am not with him anymore......those photos were special to me ...and remain to be special...... special times special memories from a sudden unexpected holiday....i cherish...... as i cherish giving them......i cherish receiving them......and i dont ask for those special things...defeats the point ...they happen often unexpectedly.....i think that is what makes anything special....is the fact you dont expect it ever......and then...it happens.....to become a cherished memory....that is often reflected in smiles .......deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 ^^ this todreaminblue, this is one of the most beautiful posts I have read here on this site. Absolutely beautiful. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 ^^ this todreaminblue, this is one of the most beautiful posts I have read here on this site. Absolutely beautiful. :0)....thankyou...i am glad that you liked this post......deb Link to post Share on other sites
SolG Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 One of my besties and her SO went through some rough times a few years ago. She says one of the best things they got out of counselling was to speak each other's love languages. He's a stoic introverted very manly man of few words, and she's an outgoing loquacious girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. Back in the day he'd be busting a gut doing so much for her, and she'd be trailling him around asking why he doesn't tell her he loves her and that he thinks she's beautiful. His love language is acts of service, and her's words of affirmation. These days when he does something for her, she repays him kind; gets him a beer or a bj He's still not great with telling her stuff, but he leaves her random notes all over the place. The fridge, her lunch box, in her shoes. She and I had lunch the other day and she found a note in her jacket pocket he'd put there a year ago! It said words to the effect of, 'You wore this jacket today and it is so flattering of your beautiful curves. I'm so lucky to have you as my partner in life and I love you so much'. Their R isn't perfect, but whose is? But they do seem to be going from strength to strength and falling more and more in love as the years go by. To me they are such a great example of understanding each other and the consistent little things going a long way. Link to post Share on other sites
Joie Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 After the A we had to come up with new ways to express our love because he said "I love you" all the time to me during the A. So, for awhile those words meant nothing. Some of the things he came up with to show love that made me smile and STILL make me smile. He brings me a glass a of wine when I am sitting on the couch. He always picks me up a candy bar at the store and then places it in the freezer. (he hates frozen chocolate so this is just for me) He scratches my back when we are lying in bed. I know they sound silly but to me they say I love you. Link to post Share on other sites
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