treslove Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 My SO and I have been in a committed monogamous relationship for 10 months. Our relationship has had a lot of problems, but we love one another so much we've always tried working things out. The other night, we were having sex, and my SO moaned her best friend's name "mmm oh my god (NAME) mmm". I was crushed, so many different emotions and feelings. The best friend happened to be sleeping on my couch downstairs that night too. It was horrible and awkward to say the least. My SO's explanation was: She was tired, and falling asleep, it was an accident that meant nothing, that she said it in a half dream half awake state. She swears that she feels nothing for her best friend, that they've never hooked up, there is no attraction, no fantasy and no past there. About 4 months ago, I was sitting with my SO on the couch and she received a text message, from this same best friend, of a nude picture- the best friend was asking if the photo was "ok to send to their SO". We had an argument about it. My SO still thinks that it was no big deal, and says that is a normal thing for friends to do. Is this normal? Am I overreacting? Also, my SO calls me "babygirl", and I realized the night of the incident that my SO called the bff "babygirl" several times too. After this all happened I brought both the nude txt and the "babygirl" up, and I was treated as though I was crazy and overreacting- that both those things are normal, and have nothing to do with the accident of moaning out the bff's name during sex. With all of this, I am having a really hard time believing that there is nothing there, that my SO moaned that name without any kind of meaning- that it was nothing but a simple mistake with no deeper meaning. I feel lied to, among all the other things I'm feeling right now after this happened. Every psychology study I'm reading and forums online, state that that mistake happens like an old habit or muscle memory. I read that Pavlovian rules state incoming sensory information cues will recall previous emotional states "When you're in a state of euphoria, you conjure up things that remind you of other things, because you're in a state that has happened before" This would be a lot easier to handle if my SO called out an ex's name or someone from the past. But my SO will not admit to any feelings or past history with this friend. I'm confused about what to do and how to feel. What I'm feeling now is devastation. I'm hurt and feeling so many things. Please any advice would help... Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 I'd be pissed if my SO was half asleep while we were having sex... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 So this bff issue is on top of a mountain of other problems you've had in your relatively short time together. Love isn't enough. Relationships shouldn't be tough. Just end it and move on to some sanity. Link to post Share on other sites
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