Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 My fiancé and I are currently on a relationship break and I wondered how long is typical for a said break to last? Does it vary between each couple and the circumstances surrounding the break? We are in contact though and she calls and texts me a few times a day where I am going without contacting her just so I don't annoy her. What puzzles me is how she phones me twice a day and texts to see how I am and what I've been up to. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 My fiancé and I are currently on a relationship break and I wondered how long is typical for a said break to last? Does it vary between each couple and the circumstances surrounding the break? We are in contact though and she calls and texts me a few times a day where I am going without contacting her just so I don't annoy her. What puzzles me is how she phones me twice a day and texts to see how I am and what I've been up to. Why was the "break" implemented? Typically, a "break" would have clear terms -- the length of the break (which IMO would be no longer than 10 days), and the communication expectations during that period. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 Why was the "break" implemented? Typically, a "break" would have clear terms -- the length of the break (which IMO would be no longer than 10 days), and the communication expectations during that period. It was imposed because I wrongly accused her of something and she needed time to get her head round it. She has said that she needs two weeks to do some 'serious soul searching' but then verbally told me that she doesn't know when I can come back so I have not to ask her. :confused: She hasn't laid out any communication expectations but she did tell me to stay as far away from her as I can for now. I just don't understand her! Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 It was imposed because I wrongly accused her of something and she needed time to get her head round it. She has said that she needs two weeks to do some 'serious soul searching' but then verbally told me that she doesn't know when I can come back so I have not to ask her. :confused: She hasn't laid out any communication expectations but she did tell me to stay as far away from her as I can for now. I just don't understand her! Be receptive to her communication and don't initiate any. Let her do the processing she needs to do. I just don't understand her! -- She has apparently been very hurt by your accusation. You have to respect her wishes if you want an opportunity to work things out . . . I'd say she's very confused herself -- one foot in and one foot out of the relationship. What did you accuse her of and what evidence did you have to make the accusation? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 Be receptive to her communication and don't initiate any. Let her do the processing she needs to do. I just don't understand her! -- She has apparently been very hurt by your accusation. You have to respect her wishes if you want an opportunity to work things out . . . I'd say she's very confused herself -- one foot in and one foot out of the relationship. What did you accuse her of and what evidence did you have to make the accusation? PM me and I will tell you what I accused her of, don't want to say publicly. I have been doing no initiating of the communicating and she is the one always to contact me (I suppose a good sign.) Link to post Share on other sites
enddeck Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 (edited) You need to be far clearer about what amounts to a break.Is either of you allowed to date other people,this would be what I would be checking on.A lot of times this having a break is just a way for one or the other partners to meet up with someone else and see how it goes while still having their partner as a fall back (plan b).I would be very suspicious about her checking up on you but you not allowed to question anything. This controlling behaviour by your fiancée is screaming cheating to me and you need to make it clear that this is not acceptable or you will forever be walking on eggshells. Edited January 9, 2017 by enddeck 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 This controlling behaviour by your fiancée is screaming cheating to me and you need to make it clear that this is not acceptable or you will forever be walking on eggshells. What makes you think she is cheating? I know for a fact that she is not the type to cheat. Can I ask why you think it is controlling behaviour? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Ok, so you hurt her terribly and she's left you so that she can reconsider the relationship. My guess is that she's staying in contact with you because she's used to you being part of her life. I wish you'd say online what you said to her. We are so limited in our advice when we don't know the history. Yes, you could have been totally out of line and she has every right to reconsider the relationship. But alternately, perhaps her behaviour gave you good reason to feel as you do and she's now busy Gaslighting you. Let's face it, you do have a history with manipulative women. You may not have been out of line at all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 Ok, so you hurt her terribly and she's left you so that she can reconsider the relationship. My guess is that she's staying in contact with you because she's used to you being part of her life. I wish you'd say online what you said to her. We are so limited in our advice when we don't know the history. Yes, you could have been totally out of line and she has every right to reconsider the relationship. But alternately, perhaps her behaviour gave you good reason to feel as you do and she's now busy Gaslighting you. Let's face it, you do have a history with manipulative women. You may not have been out of line at all. Yes, when she calls me/texts the conversation is the same as things we would chat about before this all happened but she has this 'tone' in her voice that sounds pissed off in a way still. Normally she is not the sort of person to mess about keeping people hanging, she will just be blunt and say what she really thinks/feels so that is what is confusing me here how I am being kept hanging. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 I'm not sure why you are waiting for her to decide your fate. If you have been in the wrong, then apologise and see if she will make up. If you are not wrong, or she will not make up, then why wait? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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