Liars..why?

[JadeStar]

I was wondering what makes people feel they have to lie? Or maybe tell a little of the truth but not the rest? I know some people will probably say that what makes some people feel the need to lie is maybe the other person is a nag, or they are always on the other person and makes them feel uncomfortable to be able to tell the truth etc. I might could understand that, but what about people that lie when no one has made them feel the need to? I mean its a choice you either lie about something or you don't.

 

Yes I know we all have told little fibs or little lies from time to time for maybe fear of hurting the other ones feelings etc, it just seems to me sometimes people can tell one lie, only to end up telling another to cover up the first one and so on and then it just snowballs from there. Are some people just pathalogical liars? hibitual liars? Not sure if they are the same thing, anyway just wondering.

 

 

Jade

[laRubiaBonita]

i am guilty of telling many many little white lies. and it is because i hate conflict. why say say the truth if i Know it will cause a ripple, when i could say something that would be acceptable and happy?

 

of course, on more than one occasion i have gotten pissed on b/c i told a lie.....but at the time, it was easier than conflicting.

 

but i know people who are big stretchers of the truth, and it is usually cause they want some attention, so they will embelish or flat out lie to impress others....then they have to countinue lying to validate the first....and the snow ball starts.

 

and, unfortunately these people do not usually have a lot of friends, cause they lie.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Originally posted by JadeStar

1. I was wondering what makes people feel they have to lie?

2. Or maybe tell a little of the truth but not the rest?

3. I know some people will probably say that what makes some people feel the need to lie is maybe the other person is a nag, or they are always on the other person and makes them feel uncomfortable to be able to tell the truth etc.

4. what about people that lie when no one has made them feel the need to?

5. I mean its a choice you either lie about something or you don't.

6. people can tell one lie, only to end up telling another to cover up the first one and so on and then it just snowballs from there.

7. Are some people just pathological liars?

8. habitual liars?

9. Not sure if they are the same thing, anyway just wondering.

 

1. hiding something, fear of getting caught, selfish/not wanting to share, wanting to impress others, wanting to change someone's impressions, symptom of anti-social disorders, etc.

2. downplaying something, usually - telling part instead of the whole makes it look less harmful than it actually is. A person having an affair might say "we just kissed" when really they spent an entire afternoon having crazy sex. They are only willing to give up a little to you because they might feel they owe you at least that, but will hide the rest from you because they don't want you to be a part of that experience or even know about it. They don't want you taking it away from them.

3. sometimes - if a person is the type to nag, be suspicious for no reason, overly jealous for no reason - then the partner will lie just to get them off their backs.

4. they don't want to share that experience with you - and will push you away with lies even when you have given them no reason to. They are overcompensating their selfishness.

5. Yes - for some people its a choice but... (see 7)

6. that's usually how it goes - if lying is working, there's no need to tell the truth (that's the justification for it anyway), and they'll keep lying

7. My mother is! She will tell an outright lie about something that I know isn't true, but in her head - that lie becomes her reality. When she says it, it becomes truth inside her head - and she believes it. I have no idea at any given time if she is lying or not - and its always been that way for her. She'll make stuff up and it becomes real to her. Her lying is more of a compulsion I think. An inability to separate what's in her head from reality.

8. Habitual liars - some people just lie out of habit and they know they are lying, and they probably feel bad for it but they do it anyway. They'll lie, even when it would be appropriate to tell the truth, simply because lying has become a part of life for them.

 

Are they the same? I don't think so. Habitual liars know what they are doing, and are aware that they are lying. People like my mother aren't even aware they are doing it, because they incorporate it into their reality.

[JadeStar]

Hi thanks to both of you for your replys. They make sense!

 

 

 

Jade