NJ123 Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 It just happened again with another woman online today. I guess a man's job is more important to a lot of women than a guy's personality & common interests, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 What do you do? Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 I'm gonna take a guess: Mortician. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Share Posted October 16, 2016 What do you do? I work in retail. But I guess when they find out I'm not a manager they just get completely turned off. I first say I work in retail when they ask. Than they usually specifically ask what do you do in retail & I tell them than I never hear from them again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Share Posted October 16, 2016 I'm gonna take a guess: Mortician. Nope. But I was actually considering being a mortician at one point for a brief period of time. One of my cousins is a Mortician but it's really difficult job & need to have a really strong stomach for it. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 I work in retail. But I guess when they find out I'm not a manager they just get completely turned off. I first say I work in retail when they ask. Than they usually specifically ask what do you do in retail & I tell them than I never hear from them again. What is your future career path? Retail, for most people, is an interim job..it would not provide enough for a stable household. Are you in school? Are you working towards something else? Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Share Posted October 16, 2016 What is your future career path? Retail, for most people, is an interim job..it would not provide enough for a stable household. Are you in school? Are you working towards something else? I told her that I was planning on going back to school in January & she seemed to be cool about that. And was even saying to me that it's difficult to decide on a career path. Yet when I tell her what I'm doing now for work I never heard from her again. I'm going to be getting a decent size raise at my current job in January so I was thinking of staying there at least for awhile as I'm in school. I just have to figure out what program to take up. Two of my friends said I should do a 2 year program in something. Just trying to figure that out. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 At the age you're at, women are starting to think about settling down. Getting married..having kids..etc. Can you honestly say that you would be capable of contributing 50% of all household bills right now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Share Posted October 16, 2016 At the age you're at, women are starting to think about settling down. Getting married..having kids..etc. Can you honestly say that you would be capable of contributing 50% of all household bills right now? I mean really though? It's just us getting to know one another, not move in together in a house right away. That's just ridiculous. How many people actually move in together in a short period of time? Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 At the age you're at, women are starting to think about settling down. Getting married..having kids..etc. Can you honestly say that you would be capable of contributing 50% of all household bills right now? Are you saying he shouldn't expect to be able to get a date? OP, I assume you're online dating? I've been doing a lot of online dating the last couple of years and I couldn't care less what a guy does for a living. I've been dating one guy who I have a great time with, and he's a full on grown up, 40 years old, who told me he's a ditch digger. I thought it was kinda sexy. lol I just really wanna hang out w guys I enjoy. Hopefully you'll meet someone more like me. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 I mean really though? It's just us getting to know one another, not move in together in a house right away. That's just ridiculous. How many people actually move in together right away? Yup, really. How do they know you're serious about going to school? What if you're just a mooch who's looking to sponge off of someone for the rest of your life? Especially when you're online dating, you have to be good on paper. You are not good on paper. Attracting someone is not just about being nice. When people are looking for a future mate they're looking for someone they like and are attracted to but they're also looking for stability. Why not focus on getting into school and finding a real career before you worry about getting chicks? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Share Posted October 16, 2016 Are you saying he shouldn't expect to be able to get a date? OP, I assume you're online dating? I've been doing a lot of online dating the last couple of years and I couldn't care less what a guy does for a living. I've been dating one guy who I have a great time with, and he's a full on grown up, 40 years old, who told me he's a ditch digger. I thought it was kinda sexy. lol I just really wanna hang out w guys I enjoy. Hopefully you'll meet someone more like me. lol that's awesome. And yeah it's online dating. I mean I know my job isn't the best at the moment, but it's just something for now until I try to work towards something better. I really just am having a difficult time trying to figure out what I'd want to take up in going back to school. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Share Posted October 16, 2016 Yup, really. How do they know you're serious about going to school? What if you're just a mooch who's looking to sponge off of someone for the rest of your life? Especially when you're online dating, you have to be good on paper. You are not good on paper. Attracting someone is not just about being nice. When people are looking for a future mate they're looking for someone they like and are attracted to but they're also looking for stability. Why not focus on getting into school and finding a real career before you worry about getting chicks? Basically you're saying that I should get with someone that views me as a beta provider. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 Are you saying he shouldn't expect to be able to get a date? OP, I assume you're online dating? I've been doing a lot of online dating the last couple of years and I couldn't care less what a guy does for a living. I've been dating one guy who I have a great time with, and he's a full on grown up, 40 years old, who told me he's a ditch digger. I thought it was kinda sexy. lol I just really wanna hang out w guys I enjoy. Hopefully you'll meet someone more like me. I'm saying that a guy in his 30's who lives with mommy and daddy and works in retail has less of a chance of finding someone, yes. I don't think that encouraging him to find a career path is negative but to each her own. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Share Posted October 16, 2016 I'm saying that a guy in his 30's who lives with mommy and daddy and works in retail has less of a chance of finding someone, yes. I don't think that encouraging him to find a career path is negative but to each her own. It's not negative, it's just that what guy wants a woman to be with him mainly for his resources more than anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 Basically you're saying that I should get with someone that views me as a beta provider. Omg what is with this alpha beta nonsense on here lately? It's really unattractive. No, I'm saying set some actual goals for yourself before you worry about getting laid. Do you have a future or are you planning to scrape by for the rest of your life? Because that's not sexy to most women. Sure there are some who might be ok with it, but have you had any luck finding any so far? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 Are you saying he shouldn't expect to be able to get a date? OP, I assume you're online dating? I've been doing a lot of online dating the last couple of years and I couldn't care less what a guy does for a living. I've been dating one guy who I have a great time with, and he's a full on grown up, 40 years old, who told me he's a ditch digger. I thought it was kinda sexy. lol I just really wanna hang out w guys I enjoy. Hopefully you'll meet someone more like me. I'm glad you've found happiness. Most women care whether or not a guy can contribute half the rent each month. So yes, I'm saying it's going to be difficult for him to meet someone while he's living with his parents and working in retail with no discernible future career goals. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Share Posted October 16, 2016 Omg what is with this alpha beta nonsense on here lately? It's really unattractive. No, I'm saying set some actual goals for yourself before you worry about getting laid. Do you have a future or are you planning to scrape by for the rest of your life? Because that's not sexy to most women. Sure there are some who might be ok with it, but have you had any luck finding any so far? Because in some ways it's true. How many times do you hear of a woman using a guy for his resources where she's not that crazy about him but only views him as good enough because he can provide for her. I'm not saying even most women do this, but I've heard of it quite a bit. I just don't like the fact that a guy's job triumphs every single other thing about him in order to want to be with him or not. It's like the guy can have a great personality, make the woman laugh a lot, & she finds him to be really attractive, but if his job isn't up to par than he's not relationship material in her eyes. And I'm really just trying to figure out what I should take up. As of right now my plan is to do a 2 year program. That's my best option at this point it seems. Just in what, is what I'm trying to decide on. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 Because in some ways it's true. How many times do you hear of a woman using a guy for his resources where she's not that crazy about him but only views him as good enough because he can provide for her. I'm not saying even most women do this, but I've heard of it quite a bit. I just don't like the fact that a guy's job triumphs every single other thing about him in order to want to be with him or not. It's like the guy can have a great personality, make the woman laugh a lot, & she finds him to be really attractive, but if his job isn't up to par than he's not relationship material in her eyes. And I'm really just trying to figure out what I should take up. As of right now my plan is to do a 2 year program. That's my best option at his point it seems. Just in what, is what I'm trying to decide on. Seemingly having no ambitions is part of your personality. It comes off as lazy, and laziness can translate into other things besides career and it is very unattractive. Job doesn't trump everything else. But what is it that you have to offer that's so dazzling that would make someone forget that you live at home and work in retail? What do you possess that is so amazing that you deserve to have your pick of women right this very second? And before the misogyny boys get on my case, no, I am not saying that a woman shouldn't have to have anything to offer in return. If I was a guy, I wouldn't want to date a lazy, unambitious woman who lived at home in her 30's. Dating can and should be about equal attraction to the other person. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted October 16, 2016 Author Share Posted October 16, 2016 Seemingly having no ambitions is part of your personality. It comes off as lazy, and laziness can translate into other things besides career and it is very unattractive. Job doesn't trump everything else. But what is it that you have to offer that's so dazzling that would make someone forget that you live at home and work in retail? What do you possess that is so amazing that you deserve to have your pick of women right this very second? And before the misogyny boys get on my case, no, I am not saying that a woman shouldn't have to have anything to offer in return. If I was a guy, I wouldn't want to date a lazy, unambitious woman who lived at home in her 30's. Dating can and should be about equal attraction to the other person. What if the guy in my example had an actual career job that only paid around 30 grand a year or so? Would that still not be good enough & be seen as lazy if he went to school for something, but the field just happened to not pay much in the end? And obviously not much since it seems women don't want me with the job I have now. But on the flip side of it, I'd really just dislike for a woman's deciding factor to be with me is due to having a good job. Me & my friend pointed this out today that there's so many gorgeous women on online dating that are a bit older with very successful career jobs yet they're still single. How are there so many women in the late 20s-late 30s age range that are gorgeous looking with great careers still single? What are those women looking for in a guy that's keeping all of them single? And it can't just be that every one of them just got out of a relationship since there's way too many of them I've come across. I'm just genuinely wondering your perspective on what that can be. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 I don't think it's the job per se that is the problem. It's what the job says about the guy. Our jobs say a lot about us. A person (male or female) who works as a lawyer? You'll probably guess that they've got ambition, drive, intelligence and little time for dating. A person who is a teacher? You'd probably guess that they have got a strong caring side and value humanity over money. When I worked as a temp doing office work, the employment agent who guessed that I had trouble sticking with a job was right on the money. I didn't want to hear it, but it was true. A person who works in retail? It's fair to guess thay have a lower education, lower drive and is happy to float along in life. If this isn't what they are looking for, you're going to get passed over. So to reiterate, it's not the job. It's what the job says about you. Mind you, once you've started university full time, that will give the job a different context. However, planning to start university isn't going to get a girl. Most people dating know that many people have many plans...many of which don't come to fruition. They know not to believe the thing till it's actually happening. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 What if the guy in my example had an actual career job that only paid around 30 grand a year or so? Would that still not be good enough & be seen as lazy if he went to school for something, but the field just happened to not pay much in the end? Ah, I kind of just covered this in the post I just wrote. Like a teacher, nurse or or social worker? Yeah, I'd date him. It's not about how much he earns but what the job says about him. As for the perpetually single women? I'd guess that they'd rather stay single than date a guy who isn't right for them. I think I'd be like that if I was single again. If they want to be choosy, it's entirely their prerogative. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 Try to keep the conversations light and fun. I rarely get asked what I do before meeting someone (not that it's a problem, just not something I consider worth talking about). Maybe it's a cultural thing, I remember in the states being kinda surprised how often people asked me what I do. I have friends for years that i don't know really what they do! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
morrowrd Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 Don't sweat the small stuff....you're working, that's what counts. If they judge your masculinity by what you do for work, then you're dating low quality women. I was just reading a book on relationships yesterday at a bookstore, didn't buy the book but read a very interesting article about a woman whose boyfriend was the son of a count, had a huge estate, and he didn't work. The relationship was dead, but there was plenty of money involved when it came to her. She worked as a hostess in a restaurant, and became attracted to a new busboy. His confidence and the way he communicated attracted her so much she dumped the "count" just before he came into his estate. She didn't care, and she ended up marrying the busboy. The heart wants what it wants. (Selena Gomez) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 (edited) Consider it an easy way to syphon through women, Or more importantly, know where you stand and your best course of action. Hey you know, I'm not the next Tom Brady, but I have a penis and I know where to stick itl Edited October 16, 2016 by Imported Link to post Share on other sites
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