Can't find a woman who compares to my ex-gf - do I need a shrink?

[DefBringer]

My relationship with my ex ended 3 years ago this coming June.

 

I think I'm over her. I've dated and enjoyed the company of several women since losing my ex-gf to her infidelity. But I've never recaptured that magic.

 

My problem that I deal with now is that I pursue women who have all the qualities that she possessed. She was funny, sexy, beautiful, and had a strong personality. Of course, she was also psychotic, selfish, and hateful. But now I find myself really attracted to girls who resemble her physically...petite, short brown hair. I'm still attracted to all different types, but if a girl reminds me of her, she becomes an automatic 10 in my book.

 

I hate that I restrict my search parameters this way. I hate that I am only attracted to girls with strong personalities (like her).

 

For the last year I haven't really thought about her too much. But these last 3 months...I think of her more often. I worry that I'm getting older (I'm 31) and can no longer attract women of her caliber.

 

My question is, I guess: Do I need professional help? Personally I am happy with my life more than I have ever been, everything is going great. But I miss her....and I need help getting her out of my system. I need help processing my thoughts.

 

About once a month I have a dream that involves her and it is almost always her coming back to me. I wake up so happy and then when I realize it is a dream I get really sad.

 

I am SO glad that woman is out of my life, every girl I've been with since was a better human being, but she haunts me like a cancer.

[Pocky]

I'd say you're just scared about being alone and you subconsciously attach yourself to the memory of this relationship. I don't think it's a problem that you tend to find women that resemble her more attractive. Just as long as you're not completely writing the possibility of a relationship with someone that doesn't' resemble her, I think you'll get over it.

[SleepingLover]

I worry that I'm getting older (I'm 31) and can no longer attract women of her caliber.

 

The only thing that will make that statement true is thinking that way.

 

I am 38 and I attract more women under the age of 25 than any, even remotely, close to my own age.

 

The young lady who has, recently, been pursuing me is 24 and will be competing for Miss Indiana in the fall, having won all competitions leading up to that.

 

However high caliber she may be physically, that is not what I like the most about her. I am very selective and have turned down many chances to be with beautiful young women. This young woman is very different.. she is highly intelligent, independent, responsible, down to earth and old fashioned. Like me, she doesn't frequent bars and clubs often and I very much enjoy our conversations. In a nutshell, it is her maturity and that we have a lot in common, that attracts me most.

 

So, never think that age has withered you or has brought you to your knees. Sometimes it can have an opposite affect. I never had women falling over themselves for me when I was in my 20's, but now I do. Explain that? LOL! I sure can't... maybe there are just a lot of nearsighted women on the market whom aren't wearing their glasses like they should heheh.