Gemini10182 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 I have a problem...my girlfriend is flirting with my best friend..i know they don't have nothing right now but they are to close to each other...and they hide things to me..it hurts because they think I'm the bad guy..it just that it hurts to me to see them so close and I know they will fall in love in the future...my girlfriend and I still 100% in love we have being dating for five months and is great...but my best friend is really annoying me because he keeps getting close to her...and sometimes my girlfriend turns cold to me...i always see them laughing and happy...i love my girlfriend but I thinks every day the love she feels for me turns to my bf...what should I do? * 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Liam1 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 I have a problem...my girlfriend is flirting with my best friend..i know they don't have nothing right now but they are to close to each other...and they hide things to me..it hurts because they think I'm the bad guy..it just that it hurts to me to see them so close and I know they will fall in love in the future...my girlfriend and I still 100% in love we have being dating for five months and is great...but my best friend is really annoying me because he keeps getting close to her...and sometimes my girlfriend turns cold to me...i always see them laughing and happy...i love my girlfriend but I thinks every day the love she feels for me turns to my bf...what should I do? * I think you should trust your intuition. Also get rid of this friend. Stop seeing him. He is not your friend. To me, when I was dating, GFs of friends were always off limits. Even if they came on to me, I would shut that down, immediately. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Dump the girlfriend and dump the friend. Fixd. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 I'm sorry you're going through that. I've been through it and I think I'm about to go through it again only with old people who oughta know better than to fetter away their decades-old friendships. It is the most hurtful thing and it makes it hard to trust anyone. But two things to remember: Not everyone will betray you like that. It comes down to morals. And if they betray you once, they'll do it worse next time and just keep it up. Trust me, I've seen this over a 35-year span, patterns like this. You don't want to get in a commitment with her if this is what she's like. You'd never be able to trust her. I dumped them both but ended up working with one of mine and then I think he's cheating on his wife with one of my old friends right now or about to if he hasn't already. It never ends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Liam1 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 my girlfriend and I still 100% in love we have being dating for five months and is great...but my best friend is really annoying me because he keeps getting close to her.. * I would not be too angry at your girlfriend. After all you are just dating. Your friend should not be flirting with your GF, that is my only point. I am not blaming your girlfriend. If your relationship is great, that is all that matters. The important thing is to keep your relationship healthy and your GF will not be vulnerable to other people. People in good relationships in which both attend to each others emotional needs, do not typically go outside the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 I would not be too angry at your girlfriend. After all you are just dating. Your friend should not be flirting with your GF, that is my only point. I am not blaming your girlfriend. If your relationship is great, that is all that matters. The important thing is to keep your relationship healthy and your GF will not be vulnerable to other people. People in good relationships in which both attend to each others emotional needs, do not typically go outside the relationship. Well , the girlfriend is not a kid to not see through the guys flirting. She is engaging , so is letting it on. She should be the one to stop the friend but by not doing so, she is encouraging him. Of course there are chances that she will fall for him. If someone pursues hard, pushes the right buttons , it is going to happen. OP, you need to dump them both. If your friend was crossing boundaries and your gf wasn't , then it would be different. But here clearly , she is in with him ! Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 I have a problem...my girlfriend is flirting with my best friend..i know they don't have nothing right now but they are to close to each other...and they hide things to me..it hurts because they think I'm the bad guy..it just that it hurts to me to see them so close and I know they will fall in love in the future...my girlfriend and I still 100% in love we have being dating for five months and is great...but my best friend is really annoying me because he keeps getting close to her...and sometimes my girlfriend turns cold to me...i always see them laughing and happy...i love my girlfriend but I thinks every day the love she feels for me turns to my bf...what should I do? * Break up with her. How can you be with someone who blatantly disrespects you or where you say "you know" they will fall in love with your bestfriend one day. Why wait for the day? Nix her and him and find better friends and a better gf 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 If she'd flirt with him right in front of you, then she has no respect for you. Not girlfriend material. If he'd hit on her right in front of you then he has no respect for you either. And isn't really any kind of a friend. Neither relationship seems worth keeping to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gemini10182 Posted June 22, 2016 Author Share Posted June 22, 2016 If she'd flirt with him right in front of you, then she has no respect for you. Not girlfriend material. If he'd hit on her right in front of you then he has no respect for you either. And isn't really any kind of a friend. Neither relationship seems worth keeping to me. I agree, just not sure how I should go about it. I've never dumped anyone before. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gemini10182 Posted June 22, 2016 Author Share Posted June 22, 2016 Well , the girlfriend is not a kid to not see through the guys flirting. She is engaging , so is letting it on. She should be the one to stop the friend but by not doing so, she is encouraging him. Of course there are chances that she will fall for him. If someone pursues hard, pushes the right buttons , it is going to happen. OP, you need to dump them both. If your friend was crossing boundaries and your gf wasn't , then it would be different. But here clearly , she is in with him ! I'm not sure how to go about breaking up with her. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 I'm not sure how to go about breaking up with her. You don't have to be nasty about it. Just tell her that your not one to be disrespected by her or anyone else and since she like flirting with your friend she can go with him. One more thing. A best friend would NEVER, EVER, come on to your girl friend and he would tell you if he felt she was coming on to him. I would tell him that if he wants to flirt with her then keep her because your cutting both of them loose and be done with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brittly42 Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 It's normal to want your significant other's attention in a relationship. Jealousy can easily creep in, and these feelings can feel confusing and scary. Hang in there. It's important to give your girlfriend and your best friend the freedom as human beings to decide who they build relationships with in life. Being controlling is harmful for both oneself and those who one controls, and it can sometimes begin with the best intentions. Be careful. That being said, it's also important to let everyone know how you're feeling. Have you had separate, private conversations with your girlfriend and best friend to let them know how you're really feeling? Keeping the conversation in the "I" range- "I noticed that you have been doing ____ with ____." "I am worried it might lead into a serious relationship that could separate me and my girlfriend." etc. Relationships are never easy, and it's important to stay true to yourself while being open with how you feel. You all three are in my thoughts and prayers. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 I'm all for the 'I don't think you're really girlfriend material right now then you keep hitting on my friend so if you want to bang her bang later that's okay but I don't want a serious relationship with you anymore.' And then if she comes with anything Else back at you that's.. unpleasant... then take the banging off the table 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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