Texts from a friend

[chapmansc]

I (26 male) am close friends with a girl (also 26) at my gym and our relationship has always been just friendship. We only met about a year ago, but became close fast.

 

The other night, we were texting and she says, "Remember when you were leaving the gym two weeks ago and we were talking in the parking lot? I wanted to kiss you, but I couldn't. I can never cross that line with you. Our relationship wouldn't be the same and I like how it is now." When I asked her why she was telling me this if she feels she can't act on it, she said she wanted to be honest with me.

 

These texts have me confused. There was always a little bit of attraction between us; I'm sure that's what she meant by the "energy is there." But we never acted on it because I had a girlfriend up until two weeks ago. For the record, my girlfriend at the time knew of this girl and was comfortable with me working out with her. We never crossed the line while we were together.

 

Back to the texts. She texted me these messages the night I told her I had broken up with my girlfriend. I had told her about it at the gym earlier that evening. Is this her way of telling me that I am in the friend zone and now that I'm single, she doesn't want me to make a move? If this is the classic "I don't want to ruin our friendship" statement, then why preface it with "I wanted to kiss you, but I couldn't." Why even tell me this when I hadn't tried to make a move on her in the first place? Alternatively, could this be something she's saying just for attention?

[TXGuy]

I think she is messing with your head for sport. Whatever she is doing, its pretty crappy.

 

If she meant what she said, it was crappy to tell you that. She says she wanted to kiss you, but it will never happen?! She's some type of crazy tease.

 

If she didn't mean what she said (about it will never happen), then she is manipulating you with mind games. Basically, putting you off guard and maybe wanting you to pursue.

 

Either way, not cool.

 

If you are in sporting mood, are similarly annoyed with her games, and are interested in her, you could try the following:

 

Basically call her out on her dumb games. Tell her you won't to be friends with someone that plays silly games. And now that you two are not friends anymore, there is nothing holding you guys back from dating. Then ask her out.

 

(Note: This isn't a conventional option, but it might be crazy enough to work. Particularly if you have no intention of hanging out in the friend zone and you don't mind losing her if it doesn't work out.)

[whichwayisup]

I think it's pretty crappy of her to send you those texts just when you had broke up with your girlfriend. It's very insensitive, rude and selfish of her to say those things to you. This woman is NOT a 'friend'. Distance yourself from her if you can, she's messing with you (selfishly, not maliciously).