loverage21 Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Some people will quantify love based on intensity. For example, when you fell in love in your younger years it was "magical", new, and intense. This sudden, fiery intensity will lead some people to think they love "less" as they grow older. Some people will grow to fall in love with other people but with a different level of intensity and more wisdom. Some people will argue it is a different kind of love. Some people will say true love is like a candle. It is slow and patient with less intensity. Is love defined by committment? Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Some people will quantify love based on intensity. For example, when you fell in love in your younger years it was "magical", new, and intense. This sudden, fiery intensity will lead some people to think they love "less" as they grow older. Some people will grow to fall in love with other people but with a different level of intensity and more wisdom. Some people will argue it is a different kind of love. Some people will say true love is like a candle. It is slow and patient with less intensity. Is love defined by committment? You promised us yesterday you weren't going to do this anymore. ~sigh~ To some people, love is defined by "committment"; to others, when the love is gone, so is the "committment". Probably best to find someone who shares your version/vision of what love is and is not and what "committment" is and is not, rather than wondering what everyone else in the world thinks these things are or are not. Again and still, OP...best of luck to you. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loverage21 Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 You promised us yesterday you weren't going to do this anymore. ~sigh~ To some people, love is defined by "committment"; to others, when the love is gone, so is the "committment". Probably best to find someone who shares your version/vision of what love is and is not and what "committment" is and is not, rather than wondering what everyone else in the world thinks these things are or are not. Again and still, OP...best of luck to you.. This is about love in general. My mind continues to analyze love in a really deep way. Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 . This is about love in general. My mind continues to analyze love in a really deep way. That's great...and a great little hobby. If you'd like something to do that is equally fascinating but that offers a better rate of success you might want to, rather, consider catching the wind. Me thinks one misses out on experiencing and understanding what all *love* is, when one is hell-bent on placing it under a microscope for complete dissection while within the confines of a sterile underground laboratory, yanno? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 (edited) . This is about love in general. My mind continues to analyze love in a really deep way. maybe that the problem ......when you are analysing deeply you are forgetting to feel for yourself what love feels like...if you worry that the love wont last ie commitment you are pre empting ....... love needs to breathe......to be felt..as an invisible emotion...to be expressed as a physical inflection and a mental affectation from one to another and back again..to be enjoyed and appreciated....and it is different as you age as you experience and as you learn what is most important to you personally and that level of depth you feel....would be lost for you to be in the moment, if you tried to analyse it.....as air is lost when you think about breathing, as you breathe it out......... love is neither less or more...to any individual....cannot be contained to a graph or a statistic nor does it have a unit of measure.......so to me...is surely not quantifiable.....feelings that seem to be as big as the whole world...or feelings as fleeting and small as a pin prick in time.... the commonality of love is that everyone needs it......and that the amount of love needed ......is often through conditioning...people who survive with getting little love......are often the people who are ready to give more...which is really quite a juxtaposition huh?..as most things worth having are...deb Edited December 4, 2015 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Love is different for each person and changes depending on the beloved. For example, I loved a man in my late teens and another in my very early 20's. But the love I feel for my DH now, in my 40's and after nearly 16 years as a couple, is much more passionate and intense. It always has been. Clearly, I am capable of this level of passion and intensity. I just didn't feel it then because I hadn't met someone who inspired me to feel it yet. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Some people will quantify love based on intensity. For example, when you fell in love in your younger years it was "magical", new, and intense. This sudden, fiery intensity will lead some people to think they love "less" as they grow older. Some people will grow to fall in love with other people but with a different level of intensity and more wisdom. Some people will argue it is a different kind of love. Some people will say true love is like a candle. It is slow and patient with less intensity. Is love defined by committment? Those 'magical, new and intense" feelings are called infatuation. It's not love. Love is what you're left with after the rose coloured glasses come off and you have a deeper and calmer connection. I had a very high degree of infatuation when I met my now husband. I had a high degree of infatuation when I had my first boyfriend. Age doesn't change the reaction if you have a good partner. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loverage21 Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 Those 'magical, new and intense" feelings are called infatuation. It's not love. Love is what you're left with after the rose coloured glasses come off and you have a deeper and calmer connection. I had a very high degree of infatuation when I met my now husband. I had a high degree of infatuation when I had my first boyfriend. Age doesn't change the reaction if you have a good partner. Is marriage are you more in love with the committment itself or are you more in love with the person? Make sense? Like are you more in love with the IDEA of marriage or your spouse? And the love of your spouse is a result of the love of marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Is marriage are you more in love with the committment itself or are you more in love with the person? Make sense? Like are you more in love with the IDEA of marriage or your spouse? And the love of your spouse is a result of the love of marriage? No, I love my spouse so much that I WANT to be married to him. I wasn't in love with the idea of marriage, in fact, I had sworn off of it. It took meeting him to change my mind. Having said that, I'm sure there are people who settle because they are in love with the idea of marriage. I would hope it's a very small percentage that fall into this category however. And, back to your other topic, with the love I have now, I don't even remember a first love. And the love for my first husband? It pales in comparison to now. THAT is what someone referred to in your other thread as 'the gold standard', the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loverage21 Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 (edited) No, I love my spouse so much that I WANT to be married to him. I wasn't in love with the idea of marriage, in fact, I had sworn off of it. It took meeting him to change my mind. Having said that, I'm sure there are people who settle because they are in love with the idea of marriage. I would hope it's a very small percentage that fall into this category however. And, back to your other topic, with the love I have now, I don't even remember a first love. And the love for my first husband? It pales in comparison to now. THAT is what someone referred to in your other thread as 'the gold standard', the best. For example tho, what if you and your husband hit a rough patch in your marriage and decide to work on it. Would the decision and effort be any different if your weren't married? Make sense? In that situation, is it the marriage that fuels the love or is it love that fuels the marriage? Is the love of your husband really an illusion? Are you really just in love with the idea of commitment and it projects itself onto your husband which makes you think you love him "more"? Edited December 4, 2015 by loverage21 Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Me thinks one misses out on experiencing and understanding what all *love* is, when one is hell-bent on placing it under a microscope for complete dissection while within the confines of a sterile underground laboratory, Science & faith - The script! You won't find faith and hope down a telescope! Link to post Share on other sites
Author loverage21 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Share Posted December 5, 2015 Is love commitment? But what if you are in a committed relationship but yet lose feelings towards your partner? For example, can't you continue to label you and your partner bf/gf or husband/wife yet not really love them? Can you be in a relationship yet love someone else more? And can you really quantify love? Do you quantify love based on intensity? The younger you are, the more wild and intense your emotions are. So does this mean you love "more" when you are younger? What really defines love? Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Is love commitment? But what if you are in a committed relationship but yet lose feelings towards your partner? For example, can't you continue to label you and your partner bf/gf or husband/wife yet not really love them? Can you be in a relationship yet love someone else more? And can you really quantify love? Do you quantify love based on intensity? The younger you are, the more wild and intense your emotions are. So does this mean you love "more" when you are younger? What really defines love? Wow, way too many questions being thrown at as all at once...I'm tired just reading it all Young love, for me anyway, wasn't as wild and intense as it has been as an adult. I think that's because I'm a much wiser person with a host of experiences which helps me see love in technicolor than just black and white or one dimensional. In the end, the only way to sum up the answers to all your threads is to say that love is love. And until you've experienced yourself it's almost impossible to fully express what it looks and feels like because words can't do it justice. You keep wanting to put love in this tiny box with a lid on it when it is anything but. Love multiplies and expands. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loverage21 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Share Posted December 5, 2015 Wow, way too many questions being thrown at as all at once...I'm tired just reading it all Young love, for me anyway, wasn't as wild and intense as it has been as an adult. I think that's because I'm a much wiser person with a host of experiences which helps me see love in technicolor than just black and white or one dimensional. In the end, the only way to sum up the answers to all your threads is to say that love is love. And until you've experienced yourself it's almost impossible to fully express what it looks and feels like because words can't do it justice. You keep wanting to put love in this tiny box with a lid on it when it is anything but. Love multiplies and expands. But what I am saying is just because a girl chooses to be with me doesn't necessarily mean she loves me more than she does someone else. Emotionally she can be in love with someone else but she choose to be with me. It is possible. So how do I know? Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 For example tho, what if you and your husband hit a rough patch in your marriage and decide to work on it. Would the decision and effort be any different if your weren't married? Make sense? In that situation, is it the marriage that fuels the love or is it love that fuels the marriage? Is the love of your husband really an illusion? Are you really just in love with the idea of commitment and it projects itself onto your husband which makes you think you love him "more"? Is it the marriage that fuels the love or the love that fuels the marriage? Answer: Both. Feelings are like the tides. They ebb and flow. Sometimes, the feelings of love are very intense, very center stage. Sometimes, the feelings of love are more like background noise, especially when real life concerns such as jobs, bills, household/auto repairs, the pets, the kids, etc. need tending to. When the feelings of love are very intense, that's what fuels the marriage. And sometimes, when those feelings aren't as intense, the commitment fuels the marriage until the cycle repeats and the love takes over again. But what I am saying is just because a girl chooses to be with me doesn't necessarily mean she loves me more than she does someone else. Emotionally she can be in love with someone else but she choose to be with me. It is possible. So how do I know? Of course it's possible to love more than one person and to decide between them based on which is the better match long term. You know how the other person feels about you based on how they treat you. Based on actions, not words. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loverage21 Posted December 7, 2015 Author Share Posted December 7, 2015 Is it the marriage that fuels the love or the love that fuels the marriage? Answer: Both. Feelings are like the tides. They ebb and flow. Sometimes, the feelings of love are very intense, very center stage. Sometimes, the feelings of love are more like background noise, especially when real life concerns such as jobs, bills, household/auto repairs, the pets, the kids, etc. need tending to. When the feelings of love are very intense, that's what fuels the marriage. And sometimes, when those feelings aren't as intense, the commitment fuels the marriage until the cycle repeats and the love takes over again. Of course it's possible to love more than one person and to decide between them based on which is the better match long term. You know how the other person feels about you based on how they treat you. Based on actions, not words. You said "better match long-term" I think a lot of times, people fall in love with ideas and opportunity and mistake that as love for that person. Love is a here and now thing. People romanticise the future that hasn't (or may not even) happen yet. That is an illusion. Link to post Share on other sites
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