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Posted

She is an ex GF and we've used each other for many booty calls over the years. We recently decided to give this relationship thing another chance. I really like cats but it seems her cat doesn't like me.

 

The cat is usually a lazy ball of inactivity, but...

When we're attempting intimacy...the cat starts clawing my feet.

 

Lock it outside the bedroom, it starts ramming the door.

 

Leave my Viagra on the table, he eats them.

 

First thing the morning after, the cat literally brings my car keys and drops them at my feet.

 

Can it be that a cat can be jealous of a person?

  • Like 8
Posted

This cat wants you dead mate.

 

What happens after it eats your Viagra????????

 

My cat dislikes my GF but it`s got better. They talk now.

  • Like 7
Posted

I would be careful. This is more than likely a haunting.

 

Perhaps if you hadn't referred to her as a "booty call" in the past, you wouldn't have upset the ancestors.

  • Like 3
Posted

Omg! This post made me laugh so hard. Sorry. Just trying to picture the cat dropping the keys off. And listen, a cat on Viagra, I would watch that YouTube video. Personally, I think cats are evil.

 

Animals like dogs and cats can be possessive of their owners. Just try not to fall asleep with it in the room it might try to slash your throat.

  • Like 6
Posted
And listen, a cat on Viagra, I would watch that YouTube video. Personally, I think cats are evil.

 

Oh gosh, there's nothing funny about drugging a pet for entertainment. it's animal cruelty.

  • Like 2
Posted

What you need to do is get that cat to at least like you. Spend some time playing with the cat and feeding it. Getting that cat to like you will make things better. Cats can be very protective of their owners, and you are an intruder to them.

 

Oh and don't leave the Viagra out on the table. If you decide not to take it, but it up in a high cabinet.

  • Like 2
Posted

I agree with TunaCat.

 

Stroke the cat. Spend some time with it. Try to find out what the cat wants. Give the cat what it wants.

 

;)

Posted

I love that cat.

  • Like 1
Posted

And I am sure the cat loves you in return.

Posted

i swear, you open the best threads. :love:

  • Like 3
Posted
And I am sure the cat loves you in return.

Cats adore me. Got 7. And no man. Oh, wait...

  • Like 2
Posted

This cat is clearly more perceptive than most women.

  • Like 3
Posted

I think you read that cat all wrong. I have had many cat relationships. At least five when I was growing, three with my wife / daughter, two with my second wife / step daughter. That's ten!

 

Here's what I read into your post: The cat scratches at your bedroom door: Our (STBX and me) cat did that. She was the "best cat ever!" by my own words. She just wanted to love us and be with us, she didn't understand freaky sex!

 

The cat brings your keys: She's just being nice. Why have to look for your keys when there's a lovely cat to bring them to you?

 

 

Eating Viagra / clawing at your feet: Just more love!! That cat loves you and you need to love her / him! You have your cat signals all wrong. Here's the skinny:

 

Any attention is positive. If the cat wanders to you at any time, it's love and give love back!

 

If (s)he watches you, it's love. The cat just wants to know how to love you back (they are very perceptive.)

 

Appreciate the cat and love her (him.) A. the cat will like it and B. Your GF will like it. Besides all that, you may learn to truly appreciate a cat and I'll say that's one of life's great pleasures! Now if I could only appreciate a dog!!!

 

Ken

  • Like 2
Posted
Cats adore me. Got 7. And no man. Oh, wait...

 

There ain't a woman hot enough on the entire planet to get me to endure seven cats. Fortunately, it never seems to be much of a dilemma.

Posted

A cat on Viagra, you on Viagra... gives new meaning to scratching post :laugh:

 

Catnip, the secret to your fix, with our cat ..moments after the catnip wears off he falls asleep.

 

A small palm sized squirt gun might also work...

  • Like 3
Posted
She is an ex GF and we've used each other for many booty calls over the years. We recently decided to give this relationship thing another chance. I really like cats but it seems her cat doesn't like me.

 

It's probably not you the cat dislikes, Gold Pile, so much as the situation. I can imagine its thought processes when it's watching you grin your way up the garden path - bottle cheap plonk in one hand and your balls in the other.

 

"I was told that living with human beings would be an entertaining experience. That I would have numerous opportunities to play the smirking, detached observer as these furless freaks exchanged sentimentalities and the kind of dopey, desperately loved up stares that humans and dogs specialise in.

 

Then after all those promises, they placed me with a common trollop who regularly engages in loveless, meaningless sex with her ex boyfriend who frankly embarrasses the crap out of me every time other cats in the neighbourhood see him doing the walk of shame out of my house.

 

If I wanted to see loveless booty calls, I would spend my time cruising the kind of alleys that stink of Indian takeaway and urine...watching my own kind at it. At least we've got fur and cute, cool faces to counter the overall ridiculousness of the sexual act. The only thing that could make my housekeeper's soulless couplings with Gold Pile more hideous would be if they included a dog in their 'booty calls' - and frankly I wouldn't put that past them.

 

Higher animals indeed. I'd sooner watch a pair of centipedes shagging. At least there'd be more feet for me to attack."

  • Like 4
Posted

Is it a long-haired cat? The fun really starts when you're getting frisky and the cat jumps on the bed and starts hacking up a really big one. Heh.

Posted

Pussy doesn't want you it seems. :lmao:

  • Like 4
Posted
Is it a long-haired cat? The fun really starts when you're getting frisky and the cat jumps on the bed and starts hacking up a really big one. Heh.

 

or licks you with their rough tongue :laugh:

  • Like 1
Posted

Seems like cats often are very curious about human sexual activity. Mine likes to get in close quite often ....at least until she was the victim of an unfortunate incidence of 'friendly fire.' :p

Posted

Cats can definitely get jealous of people getting close to their staff members (not owners, remember) - I've seen it many times.

 

But overall the cat's thought processes are best captured by Taramere.

  • Like 3
Posted
or licks you with their rough tongue :laugh:

Oh, that's the worst! :D My Siamese would dive under the covers and taste test. I'd be, hey, you were just licking your balls with that thing. Get away!

  • Like 1
Posted

Look, the cat has your number. It's even possible this cat is actually a demon that was formed by all the energy you have both wasted hanging on to this spent relationship. You should name this cat "Momentum," because that is what it is trying to give you both.

  • Like 2
Posted
Oh gosh, there's nothing funny about drugging a pet for entertainment. it's animal cruelty.

 

I am pretty sure this was a joke, but maybe that's just my sense of humor talking.....

 

Yeah, this cat doesn't want you around, OP. Fortunately, cats can sometimes be bribed. I'd try some catnip.

Posted
I am pretty sure this was a joke, but maybe that's just my sense of humor talking.....

 

It wasn't a joke. There is a "popular" video of someone drugging their cat on it and thinking it's hilarious, that the poster I responded to (not the OP) is referring to. It's animal abuse.

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