ladybug375 Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We have a great relationship and everything. When we met, I just got out of a 17 year relationship, have had an attraction to women just never acted on it. When I met my boyfriend I was actually in search of finding a female. His best friend wanted to have a threesome so him and I started talking. We never went through with the threesome. Several months later him and I were in a relationship. We've have talked some off and on about having a threesome and looked for girls. It's not an easy find. He's found a girl he works with that he likes and she also likes him. He has talked her into having a threesome with us. She's never been with a female before, has admitted she wants to sleep with him. How do I know this idea didn't come up as a way for them to sleep together? Since they work together I'm afraid of them hooking up behind my back. Am I crazy if I go through with this? I told him that I'm testing the both of them. She's not having anything to do with me, just him. Please help. I don't know if this can ruin my relationship. I already told him I'm not being forced to do something I'm not wanting to. I even mentioned it would be better to just find some random girl we both don't know.
jen1447 Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Warning signs ....I have lots of experience with this and this ISN'T the way successful FMF threesomes go down. I was actually gonna suggest you get with the other woman first alone just to get her feet wet (and yours) and to establish where the attention will lie, but you say she doesn't want anything to do with you? I assume she just wants to have sex with your guy also while you're there - that's not even really a threesome honestly, it's more like concurrent twosomes. You've got the right idea - veto this plan asap. I like good fun as much as the next girl but this one doesn't sound right. Maybe re-evaluate your guy while you're at it bc it almost sounds like he's just arranging consensual cheating at your expense. Then go find a nice girl of your own.
preraph Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Not a good situation. He just wants to sleep with that girl and she wants to sleep with him. Listen, I don't have vast experience on the subject, but I do have some experience which is more than what most women have. And I'm telling you don't EVER have a threeway with anyone you care about more than just a fun acquaintance. It will never end well. Don't do it with a friend of yours, don't do it with your man. If you have to have a threeway, do it with passing acquaintances you find attractive. Doing it with anyone you care about will lead to problems, mark my word. It may not be right after. It could be years down the road. Chances are it will be both.
CarrieT Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Yep - bad idea... For those of us couples that have invited third parties into our beds, it only works if it is 100% mutual on both accounts; not one party deciding who the third person is going to be and expecting the partner to just give it a blanket agreement. And her not wanting anything to do with you and only him? HUGE red flags so keep an eye for this one; she could be the destruction of your relationship...
misspond Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 If she wants nothing to do with you then it's not a threesome. It's a twosome where you'll be left out and you may never recover.
Author ladybug375 Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 Thanks for all the replys. It has confirmed what I've been thinking. I told him that she is pretty much under a test. I just don't like how this has started off and think some things are being hidden. She wanted to come home with him and meet me to get the awkwardness out do the way. She's hardly said two words to me. She spent the night with him. And also the next night, followed by brunch with her family. Something doesn't seem right. She claiming she would like to get to know the two of us better before the trip, but only texted me one day for maybe 30 minutes. She's not trying to get to know me. She is always texting my boyfriend. I've told him that a random person would be better if going to happen. We've talked and agreed he wouldn't have sex with a girl we brought in just her and I would mess around. It's weird that all the things have changed. She claims that she does not want to come between us at all, looks like she's trying her best. I tried to talk to him about this. When I found out she was spending the night I flipped out. Told him we are not okay. And our relationship is need of being worked on. I'm not being taken advantage of, being lied to, or disrespected in this situation. To throw everything we have for some random girl he wants to sleep with. Isn't worth it. I'm not giving a second chance. Told him she doesn't pass my test it will not happen and not telling him what it is. I don't want him to make sure it does so it goes through. I'm just confused and even asked if it didn't happen if it would affect our relationship and him be mad at me. I can go on and on about this. I'll stop the venting for now. Thank you everyone with your help.
Author ladybug375 Posted May 18, 2015 Author Posted May 18, 2015 Mainy the girl. The boyfriend is also the test. Well I asked him a series of question. And did not answer. Just told me things would be fine. I did do some reading on having a threesome in this situation and posted here. Basically gotten the same answers. I talked to him about all this. Was open and honest. Told him how I felt and my concerns about the whole thing. Even told him about what I read online. He got very pissed off at me. Told me not everything on the Internet is true. Haven't heard anything from the girl in 3 days. She magically texts and asked if we need to talk about anything about the trip. Him and I are it in a good place right now. Who knows might break up over the whole deal. Of that's what comes from this. Guess it shows he isn't worth it. I can do better 1
jen1447 Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 You seem well equipped with the self-worth, so good job.
Author ladybug375 Posted May 18, 2015 Author Posted May 18, 2015 Thank you. And thanks for your help. 1
kalusti Posted May 31, 2015 Posted May 31, 2015 Warning signs ....I have lots of experience with this and this ISN'T the way successful FMF threesomes go down. I was actually gonna suggest you get with the other woman first alone just to get her feet wet (and yours) and to establish where the attention will lie, but you say she doesn't want anything to do with you? I assume she just wants to have sex with your guy also while you're there - that's not even really a threesome honestly, it's more like concurrent twosomes. You've got the right idea - veto this plan asap. I like good fun as much as the next girl but this one doesn't sound right. Maybe re-evaluate your guy while you're at it bc it almost sounds like he's just arranging consensual cheating at your expense. Then go find a nice girl of your own. Jen you sound sensible. let me tell you my dilemma. My boyfriend of 5 months told me he wants us to experiment with threesomes.Predictably he wants me and another woman.The way he proposed it and really sincerely explained how important my complicity in this desire is, made me realize that the future of our relationship depends on my agreement.He says that he knows from experience that monotony kills relationships. There was me getting cosy and loved up am now feeling angry and hurt that I am not enough and also a little intrigued and tempted to experiment along with him.
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