JunzQ Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 So this is just me wondering what I should do. Me and my ex broke up after cuba it didn't end all that well and she ended up cutting me out of her life. So i decided forget it I started no contact. It's been 22 days of no contact and I was aiming for no contact for a long time. Today she messaged me this exact message "Hey how ya? Aprils almost over just wondering if you had any of the money yet hope your havin a good day" Now I do have her money but I also have more important things to pay for at this moment. Things like dentists appointments and various bills that I fell behind on while we dated since I put her first instead of myself. I've decided to put myself first in front of anyone else other than my parents. Now 2 part question. Do I break No Contact to tell her no mone for you yet. And if I was to break the no contact rule how would I respond to a text like that. Opinions would be great. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Read your other thread. Continue no contact, and block her, unless you want to be her fallback guy. Send her the money now, if you can. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Yes take care of the money business and then go total NC. This woman used you as a rebound and is now using you as a backup plan JIC the man she wants does not work out. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 Take care of the money without breaking NC and then continue to continue NC. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 If you owe her money, get it out of the way. Ask a trusted friend to bring it to her. Do not break contact. It's over and she cut you out of her life so she can't be casually texting asking how you are.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I don't know how to break it to you, but avoiding paying back what you owe her is not quite the same as "no contact." Pay her and then go no contact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JunzQ Posted April 22, 2015 Author Share Posted April 22, 2015 I'm not avoiding paying her back, I'm going no contact because it was a sour ending to a relationship I will pay her back but just when I feel I have the funds for it. I don't feel like going out of my way to pay her. I don't have to break the no contact to pay her back either I can do it with out ever talking or texting her. Thanks for the replies I've decided to ignore her message and move on. It's better than getting a guilt trip. a part of me wants her to know how it feels to struggle financially for a bit. It's what I expirenced when I was with her and it caused endless stress which was a big factor to why we broke up. I'll pay her back but a little later than I anticipated. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I don't know anything about you or your ex but you sound like a jerk when you talk about paying her back. Do you owe her money? Pay her back. Make it a priority. Honor your debts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I'm not avoiding paying her back, I'm going no contact because it was a sour ending to a relationship I will pay her back but just when I feel I have the funds for it. I don't feel like going out of my way to pay her. I don't have to break the no contact to pay her back either I can do it with out ever talking or texting her. Thanks for the replies I've decided to ignore her message and move on. It's better than getting a guilt trip. a part of me wants her to know how it feels to struggle financially for a bit. It's what I expirenced when I was with her and it caused endless stress which was a big factor to why we broke up. I'll pay her back but a little later than I anticipated. Wanting her to suffer actually makes you suffer because she's still in your head! Send her a cheque and get it over with. Don't play games and stoop to her level. Rise above it and just be the bigger person. Later you will know you did the right thing even though you want to stick it to her, it's not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JunzQ Posted April 22, 2015 Author Share Posted April 22, 2015 You guys are right I had plans for a costly dental procedure I had planned for next week. Guess I'll just cancel and pay her back. I really wanted to do things to boost confidence for myself so I can move on and find another woman but if it's a better idea to just pay her back first I guess that's what I will do. Thanks for the insight people it is greatly appreciated even though I'm being judged for those of you who haven't read my first post. My ex left me to get back with her ex. So when I found out I was a rebound I stopped contact. I wasn't avoiding paying her back I just felt I needed to get back my confidence since it got a little bit destroyed after that relationShip. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I'm not avoiding paying her back, I'm going no contact because it was a sour ending to a relationship I will pay her back but just when I feel I have the funds for it. I don't feel like going out of my way to pay her. I don't have to break the no contact to pay her back either I can do it with out ever talking or texting her. Thanks for the replies I've decided to ignore her message and move on. It's better than getting a guilt trip. a part of me wants her to know how it feels to struggle financially for a bit. It's what I expirenced when I was with her and it caused endless stress which was a big factor to why we broke up. I'll pay her back but a little later than I anticipated. Well, by holding out on her, you are guaranteeing that she will continue to contact you, and I truly believe that that is why you are doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I had a situation like this once. I didn't even respond. I just went and bought a money order, mailed it to her address, using my parents' address as the return address (I had moved to a new apartment). Donezo. Just send her the money right now. You can delay everything else. Think of it this way: This will be the last time you put her needs in front of yours. Link to post Share on other sites
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