Money marriage and greed

[Tayken]

People talk about marriage, money and their own greed, control and desire for warped vengeance. One caller even admits it.

 

 

 

What stood out to me is how the 17 year old girl sounded just like one of those 30 - 40 plus year old women. It shows that female's brains are limited & the feminist agenda messes these girls up at a very young age! She had very propagandist type of responses & she took everything personal. Typical behaviour?

 

However, I agree with this.....Are you more attracted to a dumb useless girl, or an intelligent woman with a job? If you aren't a complete idiot you will say the latter. Women are the same way. Its not just because they want to use men, (although that may be part of the reason, but wouldn't you rather live with a woman who is bringing in an income? Technically that is using her for her money as well.) but its also because an intelligent person who can hold a conversation is much more attractive and worth having in your life. 

[Danda]

This thread will be going great places lol... /sarc

 

But yeah, some people are immature and vindictive and it never leads anywhere good. Best to just walk away from such people when the red flags start popping.

[Tayken]

This thread will be going great places lol... /sarc

 

But yeah, some people are immature and vindictive and it never leads anywhere good. Best to just walk away from such people when the red flags start popping.

 

Yes that same "sweetie" that you apparently "love", will be the one that will thanks to influence from her friends become a monster and go to every length to hurt you

[Danda]

Yes that same "sweetie" that you apparently "love", will be the one that will thanks to influence from her friends become a monster and go to every length to hurt you

 

Maybe, maybe not. The more of your posts I see around the forum, the more I get the impression that some woman did you pretty wrong and you're hurting pretty badly from it, and it's like your brain's coping/defense mechanism of choice is to ward of all woman as horrible. Hopefully you will heal in time, though, and be able to enjoy intimacy again.

 

Personally I don't really get the concept of marriage anymore, in modern western society. My perception is that it used to be, at its core, about the nuclear family as a method of child rearing, that replaced the previous common system of children be raised by the collective community (tribe, clan, whatever). There was also a heavy religious angle to it. But now it's just like a piece of paper from the government that doesn't mean much beyond legal **** regarding money and custody. But I don't feel this way because I had a terrible marriage/divorce, it's more just my left-brain tendencies at play, as usual.

 

If you want to put things in perspective, imagine if I believed that all men are lying, mindless penises, and I found a youtube video of a handful of men confessing that they have cheated on a woman, and then I made a thread with that video and claimed that it was proof that men are dumb animals and nothing more. I am sure you can realize how absolutely ridiculous that would be, and that anyone calling me a crazy misandrist would be right on the money.

 

If you've got a lot of pain and anger over some woman who did you really wrong, then you've gotta process it and get it out, heal up and move on. Takes time and isn't easy, but you're only doing yourself a massive disservice by throwing up these walls. I've known a few nasty, selfish a-holes in my life, but if I allowed myself to develop a shoulder chip over it, then I'd wind up missing out on really awesome guys on down the line. When someone does you wrong, you don't let them win by letting them turn you into some bitter nutcase. You win by becoming stronger/wiser but not losing the beautiful parts of you, either.

[Tayken]

The more of your posts I see around the forum, the more I get the impression that some woman did you pretty wrong and you're hurting pretty badly from it, and it's like your brain's coping/defense mechanism of choice is to ward of all woman as horrible. Hopefully you will heal in time, though, and be able to enjoy intimacy again.

Your impression is out to lunch...go back in the archives and see my story. It was me that ended my marriage because I saw the light sooner and cut ties with an entitlement queen. I even got out of it without having to pay alimony

 

Next assumption?

 

I am sure your advice will be better off being passed on to your fellow women, you know the ones that expect a man to carry them, you know the one that has to earn more than them because they are entitled to it :-)

[elaine567]

When someone does you wrong, you don't let them win by letting them turn you into some bitter nutcase. You win by becoming stronger/wiser but not losing the beautiful parts of you, either.

 

This ^^^^ is good advice and very well put.

 

Hurting, can turn us all temporarily into bitter nutcases, but after a while we heal a bit, we step back, and we realise the world is not such a bad place after all.

[Tayken]

Again...I put my money where my mouth is when the other party got vindictive over my decision, and guess what? I won in court, more than I was offering them in the first place.

 

50-50 custody of our child

 

No alimony

 

I also took them off my health coverage and benefits as they are no longer my responsibility.

 

Lesson learned? Always marry an equal / educated type / career type / sane / respectful type

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Your impression is out to lunch...go back in the archives and see my story. It was me that ended my marriage because I saw the light sooner and cut ties with an entitlement queen. I even got out of it without having to pay alimony

 

Next assumption?

 

I am sure your advice will be better off being passed on to your fellow women, you know the ones that expect a man to carry them, you know the one that has to earn more than them because they are entitled to it :-)

 

My how bitter we are! There are plenty of women who don't expect a man to carry them and plenty of them who don't act or feel as if they are entitled to anything. Painting women with such a broad brush may help you cope with whatever issues you have for now, but make no mistake, no one believes you are speaking from the position of being a wise and thoughtful man who has looked at this from all sides are carefully formulated an opinion. It's obvious you're still hurt and acting out. Yours is just propaganda of a different kind.

[Tayken]

My how bitter we are! There are plenty of women who don't expect a man to carry them and plenty of them who don't act or feel as if they are entitled to anything. Painting women with such a broad brush may help you cope with whatever issues you have for now, but make no mistake, no one believes you are speaking from the position of being a wise and thoughtful man who has looked at this from all sides are carefully formulated an opinion. It's obvious you're still hurt and acting out. Yours is just propaganda of a different kind.

 

 

The discussion about who pays for a date, somehow didn't grab your attention, for you to interject that NO it's not right to expect a man to pay for a date simply because he asked you out......My, or do we just choose to answer threads that suits our agenda?

 

You obviously haven't been married, so you are just talking from the perspective of a person with no experience. How nice it is to be young eh

 

Hmmmm

[Mangina]

Maybe, maybe not. The more of your posts I see around the forum, the more I get the impression that some woman did you pretty wrong and you're hurting pretty badly from it, and it's like your brain's coping/defense mechanism of choice is to ward of all woman as horrible. Hopefully you will heal in time, though, and be able to enjoy intimacy again.

 

Personally I don't really get the concept of marriage anymore, in modern western society. My perception is that it used to be, at its core, about the nuclear family as a method of child rearing, that replaced the previous common system of children be raised by the collective community (tribe, clan, whatever). There was also a heavy religious angle to it. But now it's just like a piece of paper from the government that doesn't mean much beyond legal **** regarding money and custody. But I don't feel this way because I had a terrible marriage/divorce, it's more just my left-brain tendencies at play, as usual.

 

If you want to put things in perspective, imagine if I believed that all men are lying, mindless penises, and I found a youtube video of a handful of men confessing that they have cheated on a woman, and then I made a thread with that video and claimed that it was proof that men are dumb animals and nothing more. I am sure you can realize how absolutely ridiculous that would be, and that anyone calling me a crazy misandrist would be right on the money.

 

If you've got a lot of pain and anger over some woman who did you really wrong, then you've gotta process it and get it out, heal up and move on. Takes time and isn't easy, but you're only doing yourself a massive disservice by throwing up these walls. I've known a few nasty, selfish a-holes in my life, but if I allowed myself to develop a shoulder chip over it, then I'd wind up missing out on really awesome guys on down the line. When someone does you wrong, you don't let them win by letting them turn you into some bitter nutcase. You win by becoming stronger/wiser but not losing the beautiful parts of you, either.

 

Miss danda while your assessment is fairly legit I do not believes you are one to make it. I do not mean that in a disrespectful way but you are very different from other girls.

[elaine567]

The discussion about who pays for a date, somehow didn't grab your attention, for you to interject that NO it's not right to expect a man to pay for a date simply because he asked you out......My, or do we just choose to answer threads that suits our agenda?

 

You obviously haven't been married, so you are just talking from the perspective of a person with no experience. How nice it is to be young eh

 

Hmmmm

The paying for a date thread was interesting, because the man in question

refused to accept sharing the bill, when that option was offered, yet when the woman decided not to progress the relationship further, his apparently chivalrous act was shown up for the sham it was.

Paying for everything shifts the power to the person paying, the other feels beholden. I guess he felt he was due recompense, in kind maybe, or perhaps he wanted to exert his power over the little woman early on in the relationship to show her he was superior one...

[Tayken]

The paying for a date thread was interesting, because the man in question

refused to accept sharing the bill, when that option was offered, yet when the woman decided not to progress the relationship further, his apparently chivalrous act was shown up for the sham it was.

Paying for everything shifts the power to the person paying, the other feels beholden. I guess he felt he was due recompense, in kind maybe, or perhaps he wanted to exert his power over the little woman early on in the relationship to show her he was superior one...

 

 

Well...Removing all the distractive smokes screens from your post, I'll ask again.....

 

Do you believe a man should pay for a date in general simply because he asked a woman out....YES OR NO, or should it be split?

 

Now remember what you have been saying thus far eh

[elaine567]

Well...Removing all the distractive smokes screens from your post, I'll ask again.....

 

Do you believe a man should pay for a date in general simply because he asked a woman out....YES OR NO, or should it be split?

 

Now remember what you have been saying thus far eh

 

I feel it depends who asked who, and the financial circumstances of the people involved. NO point in asking a poor student or person on welfare out on a date at a fancy restaurant and then asking them to pay hundreds of dollars is there?

 

It also depends on the attitudes of those who are going on the date, some men would be ashamed to let a woman pay, because that is not how they do things and some women would be offended if they were not allowed by some men to pay for the whole thing, if they did the asking.

Surely it is about negotiation and being reasonable.

If a couple cannot discuss paying a meal sensibly, then it doesn't exactly bode well for the relationship does it?

If the truth be known, I am a splitting type of person.

[CrystalCastles]

Your impression is out to lunch...go back in the archives and see my story. It was me that ended my marriage because I saw the light sooner and cut ties with an entitlement queen. I even got out of it without having to pay alimony

 

Next assumption?

 

I am sure your advice will be better off being passed on to your fellow women, you know the ones that expect a man to carry them, you know the one that has to earn more than them because they are entitled to it :-)

 

I certainly hope you'll stay off dating until you fix that attitude. Its plain gross. I can never understand why men who are obviously woman-haters actually want to date women.

 

I don't know where you get this idea where ALL women expect men to carry them around. Maybe you live on Mars where that's how people live, but here on planet Earth there are many, many very fair, wonderful and intelligent women. Perhaps you should come visit us Earthlings sometime.

 

I have never asked my boyfriend for anything. No gifts, no money, nothing. I have my own. And I don't need any material things either. I like fair relationships. I don't believe that healthy relationships can exist when one person behaves like a leech and sucks the other dry. I'm in school right now but have the goal of going into a high-paying industry so I will never need his money.

 

I think there's nothing wrong with marriage. That's what I'll do when I start working. My boyfriend is the same. There are people who don't believe in marriage and that's fine too. If you, Tayken, have some huge issue with marriage, then don't marry. Its that simple.

 

Also, keep in mind, that if you want, as you say, a "woman who is bringing in an income", then you'll have to contribute equally to the home, cleaning, cooking, laundry, childcare. None of this "lying around on the couch watching TV or playing videogames" rubbish after work. A working woman cannot come to a home and clean the entire place herself, cook dinner herself, raise and take care of children by herself, AND still have enough energy to have mind-blowing sex after all that.

[elaine567]

I can never understand why men who are obviously woman-haters actually want to date women.

 

Neither can I?

There seems to be certain tribes of men out there, who turn hurt into hate, it is very sad.

[Gloria25]

Oh pleeze, I was gonna comment on how the OP got a bee in his bonnet over the holidays, but the videos on both of this threads have truth to them.

 

BTW, the only way I could get through listening to the video is cuz was giving myself a pedi/mani...

 

OH, also, I love the mountains in the video. Nice. I sneaked a peak between working on my lit'l piggies.

 

Anywho, I've pretty much posted on here what the video says. But I must say that it the article it was based on brought topic of marriage now a days on an angle that I've pondered on, but never really articulated much...which is the amount of men w/o college degrees who do not marry.

 

I mean, both of my siblings who married w/o getting their degrees and careers together...

 

One divorced and cuz he took on a wife, lost his non-degree well-paying job, and all the wife did was nag when he had to work harder to try to make ends meet. I mean, she was mad cuz "he wasn't spending enough time for her" - yet, she'd not get off her duff and make any friends and I could go on and on. When they divorced, it literally bankrupted him cuz he didn't have anything much in the beginning.

 

The other is still married, almost a decade with the same lady and they are striving. I will say that I believe I was/am instrumental in them staying together cuz I've supported them in many ways. I really want it to work. He's getting there, but they're struggling and sometimes she frets over how much he works.

 

About the video,

 

I really liked the 17 yr old. OMG, just goes to show you how the truths of stereotypes. I mean, she contradicted herself, proved the guy on the radio's theories, and no matter how much she thought she was "intellectually stimulating", she was far from it.

 

Yes, like I said over and over, no matter what the women's movement says - women, unless they make mega bucks, still need a guy's presence and income...especially if the women want to have a family. Also, females are hard-wired to seek out a mate that can provide for them.

 

Yep, females aren't stupid, they want that ring. They wanna tie you down. They know the power/control that comes with it.

 

I could go on and on, but I'm not gonna rehash the video.

 

The only thing I didn't agree with in the video is how while, IMO, more women are becoming independent, college grads, and want someone "at their level"...the women's movement has a lot of women "paying" for a husband.

 

They get some guy "not at their level" cuz they want a "pet". They may still even rely on some of the little bit of income he has too, but that comes with a price. They get to turn him into "Mr. Mom", while she goes and slays dragons and boinks someone in her office who "gets her".

 

The video also doesn't address the independent and/or college women - who once they snag a guy, just stop with the working and/or college (aka "slugs"). Not cuz they wanna dedicate themselves to the husband, family, and home (what SAHW/SAHM were designed to be), but cuz they get lazy. Now that they snagged a guy, who cares about working again. BTW, the "slugs" also are lazy on maintaining the home, their appearance/weight, the kids and even sexing the husband.

[Gloria25]

Oh, BTW, this argument that women want a "college educated guy" so they can have "stimulating" convos with?

 

Again, listen to the part with the 17 year old. Where does the market for gossip shows, reality TV, and ID comes from? Women....

 

When I was a little girl, my misogynistic dad "spewed" several statements like that and now that I'm older I see it is true when it comes to a lot of women.

 

Women don't sit around demanding their husband talk to them about politics, science, the news. They wanna talk about "feelings". And, when women are with their gfs, all they talk about is "feelings", gossip, fashion, you know the deal.

 

Again, another reason I can't be friends much females.

Edited December 27, 2014 by Gloria25

[CALOVELY]

Again...I put my money where my mouth is when the other party got vindictive over my decision, and guess what? I won in court, more than I was offering them in the first place.

 

50-50 custody of our child

 

No alimony

 

I also took them off my health coverage and benefits as they are no longer my responsibility.

 

Lesson learned? Always marry an equal / educated type / career type / sane / respectful type

 

So everything worked out in your favour and you still have the attitude you do? Every one of us here has had someone who has hurt us, mistreated us or used us. Focusing on that only hurts you. Realize that it is that person and move forward. Embrace the positives in your life and let go of the past, otherwise you are letting that person control you. Why would you give this person that much power?

Edited December 27, 2014 by CALOVELY

[Gloria25]

Ok, one more and I'm done...

 

Just to show you how some females can be. Years ago I worked with is woman. She was married to a military guy (who was not attractive), she drove a BMW, worked a 9 to 5, was having sex with as many guys who were attractive and young in our unit....and she still wasn't satisfied.

 

One day, some old guy who could barely walk came to the offices asking for her. He was carrying "lunch" for her...Aww, how cute. I mean, she was so nasty and greedy that on top of hookin' her military husband, working a 9 to 5, she was hookin' old guys too.

 

One time she asked if I could 'go with her to see some fashion show out of town' and I was like "no thanks". I knew she was trying to use me as a cover to cheat on her guy and probably look for some more "marks" out of town.

[ufo8mycat]

Well...Removing all the distractive smokes screens from your post, I'll ask again.....

 

Do you believe a man should pay for a date in general simply because he asked a woman out....YES OR NO, or should it be split?

 

Now remember what you have been saying thus far eh

 

I don't think men should have to pay. At the same time they are also able to suggest the bill is split. It isn't as though their arms or mouths are painted on, men ARE about to advocate for what they want and then accept the outcome.

 

But I really don't get this concept of marriage being a one way street to the detriment of men. There is plenty of research (empirical stuff published in actual journals) that shows marriage has a positive effect on the mental health of men (more so than women).

 

Marriage and Men's Health - Harvard Health Publications

 

just one article of tonnes out there.

 

My own marriage is swings and round abouts. We don't have traditional gender roles. We have both been in crazy high paying jobs and we have both been totes unemployed. Stuff changes, views, priorities, hobbies, habbits and like any relationship you need the skills to navigate this.

 

But I guess I brought a fair bit to the table. We both owned our own homes before me married. My husband doesn't have a degree but I do. He hates study but is happy to support my study. Give and take. Working well so far.

 

Greed or money isn't something that I have really thought of. We have different attitude to money but it is far from one giving and the other taking. This doesn't describe too many couples I know at all.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Do you believe a man should pay for a date in general simply because he asked a woman out....YES OR NO, or should it be split?

I think that the person who does the asking out should plan to pay for the date, I do! I'm getting married fairly soon, but my fiance is not a greedy person. That would be a pretty bad trait in a husband or a wife!

[Rejected Rosebud]

 

Women don't sit around demanding their husband talk to them about politics, science, the news. They wanna talk about "feelings". And, when women are with their gfs, all they talk about is "feelings", gossip, fashion, you know the deal.

 

Just cause you and your friends are like that (and there's nothing wrong with it!) it doesn't mean that it's a "female" thing. It's just individuals. I do like fashion but it's not that great to discuss, the women and guys I hang around with have much different interests than that, my fiance and I are actually going on an archaeological expedition for our honeymoon! Because that is an interest we share (more me than him actually but he loves it too)! People need to be with a partner and friends they're compatible with, then we wouldn't have to hear all this false stuff about what "females" and "males" are supposed to be like!

[Lernaean_Hydra]

The discussion about who pays for a date, somehow didn't grab your attention, for you to interject that NO it's not right to expect a man to pay for a date simply because he asked you out......My, or do we just choose to answer threads that suits our agenda?

 

You obviously haven't been married, so you are just talking from the perspective of a person with no experience. How nice it is to be young eh

 

Hmmmm

 

What? I'm sorry but I'm really confused.

 

Edit: Wait a minute, I think I'm all caught up now. The thread you're referring to is one I didn't even bother to click on until today. But now that I have, I can see that I've already responded to similar threads many times in the past and made my thoughts known. Now I don't expect you to have gone through my entire positing history but it's pretty riduculous (sad, pathetic, etc) for you to try to use my lack of commenting to mean...well, anything. There are dozens of threads I don't even glance at every day. But for the record, no, I don't think the man should pay just because he asked. I'm tired of saying it I've said it so many goddamn times.

 

However I'm failing to see what any of this has to do with your obvious bitterness towards women. Care to try that again?

Edited December 27, 2014 by Lernaean_Hydra

[MissBee]

Oh, BTW, this argument that women want a "college educated guy" so they can have "stimulating" convos with?

 

Again, listen to the part with the 17 year old. Where does the market for gossip shows, reality TV, and ID comes from? Women....

 

When I was a little girl, my misogynistic dad "spewed" several statements like that and now that I'm older I see it is true when it comes to a lot of women.

 

Women don't sit around demanding their husband talk to them about politics, science, the news. They wanna talk about "feelings". And, when women are with their gfs, all they talk about is "feelings", gossip, fashion, you know the deal.

 

Again, another reason I can't be friends much females.

 

I have a theory on people who refer to women as "females"...it never fails.

 

So if women are this way, what are you? Oh you're different? Why do you get that privilege to be different? Own it then...if you want to cast all women in such a light, you better pick up that banner and carry it with you as well. You don't get to cast aspersion then opt out.

 

You post a lot of disdainful things about women and based on what you say of your dad and what I know of how our parents affect us, you didn't come to realize any truth, you are a productive of being fed his nonsense. It's not a crime but we have to realize how our thoughts come to be shaped and then change them based on reality. Watching some bizarre youtube video of a set of people saying whatever they are saying, anyone with any sense knows, that this cannot then be extrapolated to everyone. This is not rocket science, and this is coming from a woman who can actually thin with a brain that has been taught how to do legitimate research and not use random foolishness to make broad claims...if I ever tried to do that in my work I would be asked kindly to leave because I clearly don't understand what's going on.

 

Speak for yourself and your friends only. ALL my friends are brilliant and well-rounded and don't "demand" their husbands/bfs talk to them about anything, they choose intelligent men to date who also realize they are brilliant and well-rounded and can talk about a range of topics and yes *gasp* well rounded people can talk about feelings too and tend to be emotionally intelligent.

 

I mean...I truly feel bad for those living in a world where they only know gossipy airheads because my world is far far far removed from that. Instead of using your small world to determine all women are such a way (but conveniently excluding yourself), expand your horizons and come play with some grown up women.

Edited December 27, 2014 by MissBee

[BlueIris]

Speak for yourself and your friends only. ALL my friends are brilliant and well-rounded and don't "demand" their husbands/bfs talk to them about anything, they choose intelligent men to date who also realize they are brilliant and well-rounded and can talk about a range of topics and yes *gasp* well rounded people can talk about feelings too and tend to be emotionally intelligent.

 

I agree. I even wonder how my friends and family can be so very different from the stereotypes I read here sometimes. I don't even know women who aren't interested in politics, science, the news. They all like talking about those things, and batting ideas back and forth. I guess we form our own circles that confirm our worldview.