avsguy01 Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 THIS POST IS LONG!!! I posted on here about 4 months ago about how my mom had a problem with my girlfriend cause she supposedly didnt say hi to her within the first couple of weeks coming to my house. First all, my mom just got out of surgery and was always sleeping when my girl came over. My dad got to know my girlfriend over this time, and he made her feel comfortable around him. Then one day we went out to the back yard where my mom and dad were, and as we were walking up my girlfriend said hi, but i guess my mom didnt here her, so my mom ignored her the whole time we were sitting there talking. That night my mom was like i dont know whats with your girlfriend but, i dont like her all that much. I dont know what you see in her cause i sure dont see anything. That was then, 4 months ago, a post i had written. So, we got through that and my girlfriend has been coming over here and there for the past 4 months. However, i would definately say that we have done alot together over this period of time and i am not home all the time. Anything me and my girlfriend do together is completely and honestly mutual. We both want to spend any kind of free time we can get together. We both go to school, and work. Since school has started we have probably seen each other on average, at the most, 3 times a week. Three weekends out of this time ive gone to visit her mom. I enjoy going to her moms. She is a very nice person and enjoys my company, and vise versa. So this Friday night me and my girlfriend went to a party together. One that we had planned for 3 weeks, and that we were compeltely looking forward too. We went to this party of a sole purpose of getting drunk! Which we did! I was hung over Saturday! Last week my parents had proposed for me to join them at a local bar this saturday night. In my eyes it was never set in stone that i would be going. In there eyes it was (especially my moms) I wasnt feeling good to go to a bar that night so i decided to go with my girlfriend to the movies, who had to watch her brother and sister. I definately wanted to go to the movies. I wanted to see that new Saw movie. I saw this as a great opportunity, cause i wanted to chill that night. Plus some friends from work were there and even invited me earlier this week to join them. So i went to the movies with my girlfriend. I had a great time. My girlfriends dad paid for her, her brother and sister. So i didnt pay for anything but myself that night. I come home that night from a great time, and all hell broke lose. My mom went on about how my girlfriend controls me, and how she is a stuck up bitch, and that if we ever got married (which is not in any plans, ANY time soon!) i would never see her cause my girlfriend would take her away from her. Me and my girlfriend cannot believe this is happening. For 3 months or so we thought everything was great, settled. Obviously its not. We are back to square one. My dad says my mom is scared to have a talk with my her cause she is very intimidated by my girlfriend. She is very goal oriented. She comes from a successful family. She goes to school, and works at the same time, and basically wants to be very succesful in her life. I am the same way. I live with my parents still, but honestly my growing up has been different from my girlfriends. My parents arent rich and we hardly have a family. My girlfriend's family is fairly wealthy, and her family all lives next to each other. I think my mom is jealous of my girlfriend, so she continues to find any rildiculous thing to put my girlfriend down to make her seem like she is no good. She also says that my girlfriend has me believing everything from her and that i dont believe my mom. I honestly cant back my mom up even though she is my mom cause ive seen some of this stuff and my girlfriend has done anything to deserve this treatment from my mom. All i know is that I am not going to let my girlfriend come between me and my mom, and i am not going to let my mom come between me and my girlfriend. I love my girlfriend and my mom is just going to have to accept that. I am just ranting!! This is getting so old and i am sick of it! Link to post Share on other sites
DJ_Dork Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 You seem to get along with your gf's dad while your gf doesn't seem to get along with your mom. I'm going to make an assumption. You probably approached and was respectful to your gf's dad. Therefore once he got your respect you can tolerate each other. But, your gf on the otherhand did not give proper respect to your mom. So your mom assumes your gf has something against her and same forth for your gf who expects respect from your mom. Also your mom may not like the attention you are giving to another woman. This happens a lot with sons of mothers who hate the son's woman. Rather than son to woman's dad. Because you see men know how to communicate. If there's s*** going down or there's a problem they're upfront. But women who assume they're better than us *SUCK* at communication. So your mom lets out her frustration by talking crap about your girl. This happened to me too, I bring a girl to my mom's and if she doesn't say hi while walking across from each other - my mother would later on go "she's so skinny" or "what's wrong with her hair" etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 It's the classic "Mommy is afraid of losing her little boy to another woman". Your Mom sees how much time you spend with your girlfriend and in a way, sees your girlfriend as taking on her role. When you were little you ran to Mommy when you were hurt or scared. Your Mom would comfort you and make you feel better. Whenever you needed help with anything, your Mom was always there for you to guide you and give you advice. I think now a days, you would be more inclinded to seek that kind of thing from your girlfriend instead of your Mom. Your Mom feels threatened and that's why she doesn't like your girlfriend. Just try and reassure your Mom that you'll always be her "little boy" and try to move on with all of this. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 sounds like a reversed Oedipus Complex.......but mainly just Motherly Love. Mom doesn't like girlfriend from day one, nothing, short of a miracle will change that. Since mom hates her, this means your girl is not good enough for you. sounds like your mom is also just substituting your GF for some other anger or fear that she has....easier just to take it out on your girl, instead of what the real reason she is upset. maybe she is scared that you are really growing up and do not need her (your mom) anymore. or that you do not love her as much....or she could, like i said earlier, simply be jealous of your GF for taking more of your attention. It's a damn shame though, that your own mother acts like a snivvling little 15 year old jealous girl. No offense though! Link to post Share on other sites
Author avsguy01 Posted November 1, 2004 Author Share Posted November 1, 2004 Yeah, its a real shame that my mom judges my girl like a book cover. Theres that saying, "dont judge a book by its cover." I know damn well my mom hasnt given my girlfriend a chance in hell since day one. The first day she met her we went back to my place (parents place) and hung out in front of a fire....a bon fire thing. I was telling my mom, "yeah i really like this girl, she is so cool to hang around with".....and my mom's response was....."as long as your happy." Since then it's been an on going battle and my mom seems to find any kind of thing to reinstate her thoughts that she doesnt like my girl. Then it's funny cause mom sits there and says "i never said i didnt like your girl".....yet she tells me that she is a stuck up bitch......ha ha ha. I still get along with my mom but it just so immature of her. My mom never gave my girl a chance. My girl sensed that and maybe came off as not being respectful in every 100% way possible. If my mom would have made my girl comfortable like her dad, and the rest of her family towards me, and my dad towards her then we wouldnt have this problem. But honestly my girl has not done anything in my eyes that would be disrespectful. Thats why i am behind my girl on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 well just tell your gf, even if it is hard, she still needs to at least act like she respects your mom, and be courtious. Like your mom really has no affect on her......cause that is what your mother wants is for the GF to bite the insult bait, maybe smart off...then BAM- mama comes down on her like a ton of bricks. tell her to be the bigger person, and try and be nice....Kill 'em with Kindness...that is what i always say! To me, it is better revenge just to dose up the niceness, then they will feel the ass for being an ass. Link to post Share on other sites
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