KJR Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 (edited) Hello all you guys I met a Christian girl from USA. I'm from other religion and country I fall in love with her. And she told me she is in love with me. But things are very complicated. She has a child. And she can't support him alone. Her life was gone wrong for her. I fully understand the decision she takes, to live with the child's father under the same roof. And plus if she breaks up with him, she can lose her son. She told me she doesn't love the child's father. But she said he is a good father for her son. I really love that kid. I'll do anything for them! I love her and her son. Before I met her. I thought I couldn't raise a kid that isn't mine. Till I saw him... He is so gorgeous! I hope she believed me when I said that to her... I know the child's father. He is a very nice man. (But I don't know him very well) I know I'll hurt him if I and she will be together And that's hurt me... Because of him. I agreed to leave my country and living in the US and for her and her son. I know if we'll be together and we move to my country, The father can't see his son and the child can't see his dad... I love so much my country. I have a job here. All my family here, and it'll really break my heart to leave them... But I in love with her. I'll do and go whatever or where ever she will ask me to. Lately I told her I like to start to move things for us, so we can be together. I think that makes her to freak out... She told me she can't risk her son. And how much she apologized that she put me in this position. And she asked me to move on... I told her: I CAN'T!!! I do anything you'll ask me. But don't ask me to leave you! Maybe for the first time when she understand I'm serious, she started to think about how she can lose her son because of me... She told me that, and I understood it... But there is possible she doesn't believe me, that I'll take full responsibility for her and her son. Maybe she afraid that one day I'll go off and she stay alone without any help... Maybe she doubts my intentions... After we discuss about to move things so we can be together... Well... I talked about it. After a few weeks she told me she felt how much she don't pay attention for her son. And she wants to spend more time with him... Now we don't talk much. It's really difficult for me... Maybe this is the true reason. Maybe it's a way to get me off and she hopes I'll forget about her. Or it's a way she tries to forget about me... When she logs on. It seems to me something has changed... She doesn't use any more with a love words. When I ask her or write to her a love words. She tells me she loves me... Maybe it's just me... I miss her so much! I wait for her all day she will log in... All my thoughts are only about her! I can't eat, I can't sleep. I can't work, I can't do anything without thinking about her! I can't get her out of my mind and my heart! I feel she is the woman of my life!!! Thank you so much you guys read all of my post. I know it was a little long. Edited October 17, 2014 by KJR
Gloria25 Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 Dating people with kids is difficult - cuz as you see, she's trying to do what's best for her child. There's lots of single people out there...now, while now a days seems like everyone has at least "one" illegit kid, there's still a lot of women out there without that baggage. If you wanna see her on the weekend for hamburgers, fine. But, I think the kid is best in a home that they are trying to keep for him...trying to take the kid away from the dad is just chaos. The kids always miss their original parents. Also, you gotta be careful this isn't a manipulation - like a "damsel in distress" type thing.
salparadise Posted October 17, 2014 Posted October 17, 2014 She isn't going to leave the husband, or the child's father, whatever he is. She has made that clear. She was happy to string you along on a one-way deal, but the second you want more she backs away. You're serious, but for her it was just a fling, something on the side. It's going to be painful and I don't think you can avoid that no matter what you do. My advice would be to go back to you job and family in your home country and have no further contact. That's the quickest way to get your life back. Time heals. You will love again.
Author KJR Posted October 18, 2014 Author Posted October 18, 2014 (edited) Thank you both for the replies! Dating people with kids is difficult - cuz as you see, she's trying to do what's best for her child. There's lots of single people out there...now, while now a days seems like everyone has at least "one" illegit kid, there's still a lot of women out there without that baggage. I know it is... This is wasn't my choice! It's just happened! I was invited with so many relationships. I'm not young teen anymore... I know to tell when that is it! I sure she wants the best for her son! But i scare she doubts me, I mean what I've said. Or she is thinking I'll leave her one day. Oh... Believe me when I say I'll never stop love her... I'm really all the way kind of a guy... I know myself. I know when I can't let people out of my heart! If you wanna see her on the weekend for hamburgers, fine. But, I think the kid is best in a home that they are trying to keep for him...trying to take the kid away from the dad is just chaos. The kids always miss their original parents. To see her as a lady friend or still meet her as a lady friend gonna hurt me even more! Every time when I walkway I leave with tears in my eyes... I'm really black and white kind of a person! I couldn't do it! Also, you gotta be careful this isn't a manipulation - like a "damsel in distress" type thing. Thank you for worry about me I really don't think this is the case... All the last year I offered her help. Money. Support. And other ways. She didn't agree to take it! I even send her huge amount of money to support her because she has some financial issues. And even that she gave it back... But even if this is the case. I really don't care... I know I'll be the happiest man on the planet! ````````````````````````````````` She isn't going to leave the husband, or the child's father, whatever he is. She has made that clear. She was happy to string you along on a one-way deal, but the second you want more she backs away. You're serious, but for her it was just a fling, something on the side. It's going to be painful and I don't think you can avoid that no matter what you do. My advice would be to go back to you job and family in your home country and have no further contact. That's the quickest way to get your life back. Time heals. You will love again. Thank you too for your reply! No... They are not married. And if they were. Even if she was telling me she doesn't love him I never get on this! This is my red line! We know each other over two years. We fall in love about six months ago... So I don't think it was a fling. Or something on the side. Before we fall in love. (And after) I gave her a shoulder "to cry" on. She told me all what she goes through... She really had a hard life... But I want to make clear. I didn't fall in love because that. I saw her soul! I saw what kind of a person she is. I know for sure I'll give up my life for her! And I really mean it! Edited October 18, 2014 by KJR
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