imaginarium Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Diagnosed. Psychopath anyway I guess. I don't think doctors differentiate the two. We had super crazy chemistry from the time we met 10 years ago, and had a physical relationship on and off for 2 years but I couldn't handle the drugs and craziness so I went NC. We messaged each other during life's lows, but I avoided seeing him. He got married and had a kid. I didn't hear from him for years, which was ok. He started talking to me about 6 months ago when his marriage started breaking down and he and his wife separated. We have honest discussions but I shut them down when he starts with the emotional manipulation. He told me once to never trust him, so I don't. But as a hardcore empath, it's so interesting to look at the mind of a man with no conscience. I also know I'm prey so I don't get too close. He moved out of his house to an apartment a bit ago. Sociopaths don't do lonely well, and he recently invited me over. I gave the address to a few friends and told them I would text them when I left. Just in case. He knew that. 8 years no physical contact with someone you have crazy chemistry with who is basically a master of sex... it started down that road but I stopped it and left. Not cause I didn't want to, but it's important to not look weak in that situation, and there will be future opportunities. Question is, when the offer comes up again, should I walk that path? I don't want a real relationship and I am careful, and it's hard to say no to someone that in that instance is basically hard wired to make it the best time of your life and say everything you want to hear and make you feel like a god. My friends seem to think I'm taking risk taking to a bad level. I'm single, no kids, no attachments. tl;dr... do I sleep with a sociopath for fun? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Doctors most definitely DO differentiate between a sociopath and a psychopath. Look up the definitions. As for sleeping with him? If you're SURE he's not a PSYCHOpath, sure. Go for it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 As a hardcore empath, I would say no. But that isn't what you want to hear. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 I've had a wonderful drama free life for the most part. Do you want to know my secret? I don't do stuff that I know isn't smart or healthy. Good luck, Grumps 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Zeurich Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Why you want to invite crap on your own. I agree with Grmpybutfun. Take care 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Doctors most definitely DO differentiate between a sociopath and a psychopath. Look up the definitions. As for sleeping with him? If you're SURE he's not a PSYCHOpath, sure. Go for it. Only doctors that don't know what they are talking about think there is a difference between psychopath and sociopath. There is an old school of thought that professionals still cling to where they believe that childhood abuse can create a sociopath. It's just not true. If there is a distinction to be made (and because of different definitions depending on who you ask)... one could say that all sociopaths are born as psychopaths, but not all pscyhopaths become sociopaths. That is IF you define a sociopath as someone who preys upon others and not just as someone who's brain doesn't function properly concerning emotions (a genetic condition). But no, if you are talking about someone with anti-social personality disorder (AKA sociopath) you are most definitely talking about a born psychopath. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Run. Don't open that door again. Even more so since so much time has passed and you've not been in his life for so long. NO GOOD can come of this! He told me once to never trust him, so I don't. Continue believing him - He isn't trustworthy. He will hurt you and since you know what he's all about, ask yourself why on earth you'd even consider opening that door and starting something up with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 No matter how good the sex might be in that moment, is it really worth the hassle you'll have to deal with afterwards? Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Drama queen looking for some excitement is what it sounds like to me. Go right ahead. I used to be addicted to drama so I know the feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 The terms psychopath and sociopath are rarely used now, they're considered to be stigmatising labels. Anti-social personality disorder is the catch-all term for both diagnoses now. Here are the traits of somebody with anti-social personality disorder. They must have three or more: failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest;deception, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure;impulsivity or failure to plan ahead;irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults;reckless disregard for safety of self or others;consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations;lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another; You're really telling me that this suits this man, and you're still interested in him? Has he a criminal background? Total inability to honor commitments? Physical violence? Irresponsibility? Inability to take the blame for absolutely anything? Personally I've noticed an awful lot of women bandy the term sociopath around because it's oh-so-dramatic and dark, the drama attracts them and they think it adds colour to their lives if they're not dating or being used by a knobjockey, it's a 'sociopath'. Maybe it's just a man who is a bit of a tool who won't treat you properly and you have great sex. Perhaps that's the extent of it. Have you even seen proof of his 'diagnosis'? Either way, go for it, you clearly want to. If you feel that a bit of drama is missing from your life then go ahead, if you value your sanity and safety, then don't bother. I think the perceived danger excites you. My own brother has anti-social personality disorder and trust me, I stay as far away from that man as humanly possible and have zero contact with him anymore. It only takes being burnt by somebody a few times to see a pattern and realise you can't allow it to happen again, whoever they are. But I'd never use the term lightly, having only truly met one person who fits those criteria in my personal life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 I work with and around a lot of power hungry, typically 'using' type personalities... and yet, even I feel I've only come across maybe one true sociopath/psychopath in my life. The difference between the 'users' and those with a psychological disorder being... sociopaths/psychopaths truly enjoy hurting other people. It is their hobby. If you are their target, they make hurting you their hobby. It is fun for them. Users and narcissists are just selfish. Not necessarily goal oriented towards destroying your life or causing damage like the sociopath/psychopath.... although the users and narcissists DO a lot of damage. It's all about intent. He told you he's not to be trusted. Which means he's clearly aware of his actions and intentions. If you were walking down a path and saw a rattlesnake rattling at you, would you walk over and try to pet it? Its no different with that kind of personality... and it isn't personal. It's just how they are. Just like a rattlesnake can't help being a rattlesnake. Best to be aware and avoid if possible. I get it that people like him must seem like a nice challenge. Can you think of any healthier goals to have? How about training for a marathon, or learning an instrument... maybe traveling across the country solo.... if you haven't done those things already. There are a whole lot of ways to challenge yourself that don't involve sticking your finger back in THAT pool... and will be a lot more fulfilling. Link to post Share on other sites
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