Eternal Sunshine Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I have run into this so much. I want to know if there is an introverted man that would prefer an introverted girlfriend. I am not talking extremes. Just not super outgoing, bubbly, perky, bouncy, party loving. You know the type. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I would love an introverted girl. One that was like me. It seems so rare though, to not find a party girl in California that's at least some what attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 The introverted men I know seem to prefer women who are also more introverted. They have girlfriends or wives who are more on the introverted side. I have a friend, a woman who is very outgoing, talkative, bubbly, etc. They find her to be annoying because they think she talks too much, and a person like that would get on their nerves. Introverts need their quiet time to recharge. Extroverts needs their people time to recharge. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I'd want someone who was introverted in the ways that I am, but outgoing in the ways that I am. I don't think I'd work so well with someone who was at one extreme or the other. Link to post Share on other sites
SmartDude Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 It all depends I guess. My first love was very extroverted, she brought me out of my self and I needed that. But now I have come full circle and its mostly the introverts that get my interest. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I'm mostly an introverted guy and I prefer women that I can tell like me. If a woman is too shy to talk to me, or give me some sign that she's interested, I'll just assume that she doesn't like me and move on. There are too many women around to focus on somebody who isn't giving me any feedback. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I'm an introvert, and my best relationships have been with fellow introverts who, like me, practice "situational extroversion" - meaning, sociable and outgoing when you have to be and need to be, more quiet and introspective otherwise. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
antineutrino Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I'm introverted as well, and prefer someone who is also introverted. While it's nice to be with someone who can help you break out of that shell at times, I think it would be hard to get along with someone who craves frequent social excursions. Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom888 Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I have run into this so much. I want to know if there is an introverted man that would prefer an introverted girlfriend. I am not talking extremes. Just not super outgoing, bubbly, perky, bouncy, party loving. You know the type. This is very subjective. Almost like "Do brown-haired men like light or dark girls". Some prefer certain types that are similar to themselves, others don't. To each his own. When I was younger I was more introverted, and I preferred outgoing girls by far. Now I just like women who are exactly like me...well balanced. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 My boyfriend and I are both introverted. I am INTJ and he is INFP. It's often suggested that our types are well paired with extroverts, but my boyfriend and I both disagree for our own cases. We both think that being with an extrovert would be too exhausting. We are both much happier to stay at home and read a book than go out to the local club/bar/whatever. Or go fishing on a quiet lonely lake together, rather than visit a busy metropolitan area. While introverted, neither of us are actually "shy". Not bashful at all, just prefer solitude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolat Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 ES, I seem to recall that the most difficult pairing is between an extravert woman and an introvert guy. Do you have an introvert on your radar? Or do you just prefer them? Or...? Link to post Share on other sites
1908 Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Outgoing girls tend to make it easier for introverted guys to approach them IMO. They usually have more approachable body language, are able to joke around and smile a lot, which in turn makes a shy guy more comfortable with opening up a bit. With shy girls, they're a mystery and require an introverted guy to go outside his comfort zone if he wants to get to know them. In my limited experience, it's often worth the effort though. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Targetlock Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 happy to have either i guess Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I've never run into introverts preferring extroverts. I'm introverted and can be shy at times and have only attracted men who are similar to myself. Loud, extroverts have never been interested in me and I can't imagine any of my exes dating a very outgoing woman. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I have run into this so much. I want to know if there is an introverted man that would prefer an introverted girlfriend. I am not talking extremes. Just not super outgoing, bubbly, perky, bouncy, party loving. You know the type. I don't think its that they prefer either introverted or extroverted people. In general people date because they see qualities in the other person that are a fit for them. Just looking at introverted and extroverted causes you to miss that. Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Outgoing girls tend to make it easier for introverted guys to approach them IMO. They usually have more approachable body language, are able to joke around and smile a lot, which in turn makes a shy guy more comfortable with opening up a bit. With shy girls, they're a mystery and require an introverted guy to go outside his comfort zone if he wants to get to know them. In my limited experience, it's often worth the effort though. This I will 100% agree with. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I'm an introvert and like introverts best. Bubbly is a deal breaker. Yuck. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 The introverted men I know seem to prefer women who are also more introverted. They have girlfriends or wives who are more on the introverted side. I have a friend, a woman who is very outgoing, talkative, bubbly, etc. They find her to be annoying because they think she talks too much, and a person like that would get on their nerves. Introverts need their quiet time to recharge. Extroverts needs their people time to recharge. My boyfriend and I are both introverted. I am INTJ and he is INFP. It's often suggested that our types are well paired with extroverts, but my boyfriend and I both disagree for our own cases. We both think that being with an extrovert would be too exhausting. The general thought on MBTI type matching is that opposites tend to balance each other on all the axes except the N/S. I'm INTJ and I definitely prefer a moderate E because I like someone who will engage me and keep things entertaining. Now mind you that I'm not interested in talking about dirt on the kitchen floor - I want a woman who entertains theories. So the E makes the N dominant. I want a feeler, not a thinker - I am the thinker and I need a woman who can feel for both of us (kidding - not a strong T). So yea... engaging, strong intuition, secondary feeling. Sign me up please! Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 For some reason MBTI experts claim that introverts go best with extroverts. I have never found that to be the case myself though (ALL of the guys I've been attracted to were introverts), and similarly my SO has never been attracted to an extrovert. I think it's important to bear in mind what introversion really means though - the affinity towards sharing company with just yourself or with 1 or 2 close people. Introverts aren't necessarily shy or socially awkward. My boyfriend and I are both introverted. I am INTJ and he is INFP. Wow, you two have the same types as we do, just flipped around... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I have run into this so much. I want to know if there is an introverted man that would prefer an introverted girlfriend. I am not talking extremes. Just not super outgoing, bubbly, perky, bouncy, party loving. You know the type. I am looking for a woman that has these qualities: 1. Interested in me as a person 2. Smart/Educated (not looking for one with a college degree but someone who can actually do algebra and is capable of reading and understanding a book) 3. Attractive in my eyes 4. Has a job 5. Around my weight or smaller 6. Willing to improve financially 7. Not a smoker If I can find such a woman, whether she is an introvert or extrovert doesn't really matter all that much at the grand end of things. The reason why is because I can be an extrovert as well if I wanted to. I just prefer not to. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 How are in introverted girls and an introverted guy supposed to find out that they both like each other and start dating? I just picture two people sitting next in close proximity to each other stealing glances. And nothing ever happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 How are in introverted girls and an introverted guy supposed to find out that they both like each other and start dating? I just picture two people sitting next in close proximity to each other stealing glances. And nothing ever happens. As I said, introverts are not always shy, or at least not shy towards everyone. Many can really warm up once they get to know a person whom they click with. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 The general thought on MBTI type matching is that opposites tend to balance each other on all the axes except the N/S. I'm INTJ and I definitely prefer a moderate E because I like someone who will engage me and keep things entertaining. Now mind you that I'm not interested in talking about dirt on the kitchen floor - I want a woman who entertains theories. So the E makes the N dominant. I want a feeler, not a thinker - I am the thinker and I need a woman who can feel for both of us (kidding - not a strong T). So yea... engaging, strong intuition, secondary feeling. Sign me up please! Well, I'm going by what I see IRL. Not what some theorists are claiming. All the introverted guys I know IRL are with girlfriends or wives who are also introverted. It works, because then both partners are content with spending alone time, whereas with an extrovert in the mix, the extrovert would usually be wanting to go out and be with a bunch of people. That is what turns them on. The introvert would feel more uncomfortable with having to be "on" all the time, and needs enough time to be in their own thoughts and pursuing more individual interests. Introverts like socializing in moderation, but need their alone/individual time to regain their energy. Extroverts need a lot of people time to energize themselves. I'm an introvert. My husband is an introvert. We get along well in that way. My friend, the bubbly extrovert who can't stop talking, would drive me nuts if I had to be around her for an extended period of time. I can tolerate her for a couple of hours at a time, but that's about it. It's exhausting listening to her. My husband feels the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I am neither introverted nor extroverted particularly, but given I have my moments where I am indeed introverted, I can't say I have a preference either way. I like someone whose intelligence is multidynamic, and being outgoing isn't really a requirement in that regard. One of the 2 girls I was with was unbelievably shy when I first met her - she warmed up to me (quite quickly in fact ) but she wasn't very outgoing in general. Wasn't a problem for me. It was actually quite unique being the more outgoing one for a change. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 (edited) Shy people are usually introverts. Not all introverts are shy. I like some alone time, not really into crowds. I like some parties, clubs, bars, dancing... whatever, but I have never tried to be the life of the party. It's not my thing. I am there with who I like and that is who I am there for. To enjoy my time with her. Or find someone there that I like and just do my thing. The world is a pretty cool place. I don't want to just read about in a book, introvert or not. When I travel, I am not just going to sit in a hotel. I don't think anyone is one or the other. Probably a little of both with leanings to whichever side depending on the situation and habits that you grow in to. But they are just habits and you can do things other than your habit. I force myself to be more social because I think it is important. When I started my job, they were sending me around the world to cool places and I would sit in my hotel room and watch TV or the internet on my time off. You want to know about Tahitti? The internet sucks! That's what I know about that place....pretty sad I know. Room service all the time, only people I talked to were people I had to. It was like I sentenced myself to a prison lifestyle. I didn't like this. This was not the way to live, so I forced myself to venture out and do whatever. I don't care. Just go out. With someone, by myself....whatever. So I go out and all the other people are like ...background to me. I don't really think about them. I am not trying to fit in with them, I am not trying to make them fit in with me. I am just there and so are they. Guess I am just rambling now. Anyway, as far as staying with a particular girl, it really depends on the girl. I know many of the things I like to do, an extrovert or introvert may like too. Edited March 19, 2014 by Imported 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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