Guys in mid-20s: How has your mindset on dating changed or not changed since college?

[paigej91]

I really want to get as much detail as possible on what your mindset is on dating. Do you approach a date with someone differently than you would have at 20-23ish? Are your intentions and/or desired qualities different? What about after you've been on several dates with someone?

 

Also, I was wondering if men feel some amount of pressure to get married around age 26 since many of their peers do. There's no way it would compare to the pressure women receive, but does it still exist/affect you in some way?

[MercuryMorrison1]

I'm 25 this month and I'm still in college pursuing the elusive Ph.D.

 

But speaking in terms of my views on dating have evolved over the years? Well, Its hard to say honestly. They haven't changed a lot. For the most part I wind up with a FWB and we enjoy each others company, though otherwise we are incompatible.

 

Like most people, I'm just imagine myself on a search for ''the one'' and the quickest way to find the ''one'' is the play the field as much as possible. I'm by no means a pick up artist or anything. But I do try gain as much experience and insight as possible in the dating world.

[ThaWholigan]

My mindset has become clearer. I didn't really truly know what I wanted and I didn't date or have sex at all during college. Now I'm more understanding of what it is I want regarding a relationship/dating. Back then, just a girl taking interest in me was an event. I'm at a point where I understand what I need.

 

That's as much detail as I can gather for now .

[Carenth]

Much more confident, care less about people think about me. I do what I want for me not to impress others. I now know the type of person I like enjoy spending time with.

 

Have learnt a lot over the years in terms of dating etc through trail and error. I didn't even start dating until I was around 20-21. Much more positive outlook on life and that has made a huge difference in how people perceive me.

[Els]

From observation, having dated or been in relationships with men very close to my age from my late teens til now (mid-20s): 'intentions' depend much, much more on the individual than the age. At least, when we're talking about only a 5-7 year age difference.

 

The current bf (whom I've been with since he was 22 and I 21) has always been a LTR person. He had only one other gf, a girl whom he was with for 7 years starting at 14. I don't think intentions of casual dating have ever been in his psyche at all.

 

The guy whom I was with at 20 for about a year, was more of a casual, laid-back person. He's currently also 27, and from what I hear, there has been minimal change. He recently dated a woman for several months, they had to go long distance, so he just said bye-bye and went on to date others.

 

Then there are guys on the opposite end of the spectrum, 30+ and still desiring to date casually.

 

IMO, look at the guy, not the age.

 

I don't think most men face any pressure at all to marry at 26 (perhaps the opposite?) and at any rate it seems like a poor reason to marry, no?

[leafguy]

I approach dating a lot differently now (Im 27) than I did back in my first year of college. Back at 20, I knew what I wanted to do career wise, and had no clue what I wanted relationship wise.

 

Now, Im the exact opposite. Im not working in the field I went to school for because I made the wrong choice. As far as the relationship goes, I met my most recent LTR my final year and within 6 months, thought she was the one. It made things a lot more clear that I was ready. Now with recent events, I should be back on the dating scene and this is where I feel my points will differ.

 

At 20, I still had confidence issues. Girls at 20 I found still had a lot of interest in the "bad boys" and didn't care much for the guy that was normal. I always had trouble approaching them to even ask for a number.

 

Now, I know with a stable job, the way I treat woman, goals in mind and wanting to settle down, that I am a great catch and any woman is lucky to have me. I look at my success having graduated with a degree, landed a decent paying, stable job and being in a position to start a family life, I feel confident to go after anyone.

 

As far as pressure, people in their 20's go through a boat load of changes going from students to drones in the workforce, so desires and situations change. From my experience, most college sweethearts don't wind up husband and wife. Your in school focusing on yourself, and having someone there is nice, but not essential and it doesn't take up that huge part of your life. When you want to marry, an ideal mate changes. Someone who you love in college may be someone totally different to you due to the fact you will be living with this person.