audiojunky Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 My girlfriend sometimes sends me email or tells me about guys at work who are attracted to her. Today for instance, she sent me this note a guy sent to her because he wants to ask her out before she leaves her job. She sent me all of the emails they exchanged. Each email to him she kept on giving him excuses and blowing him off rather than just telling him that she has a boyfriend. The last email was to her girl friends at work (she forwarded it to them too) and it said, "umm, i think it's time to say i have a boyfriend. ladies?" What kind of irks me is that she just doesn't tell the guy himself straight out without being elusive. I would probably be interested in knowing what was going on if she told him and he still persisted. Other than that, I'm not sure what kind of response she is looking for from me?? Whenever she tells me this I am a bit confused and I always just want to say, "Why don't you just tell him you have a boyfriend and be blunt about it?" What is the best approach on this one?? Opinions, ladies? Guys, any good responses for this one? My first hunch is to ignore it and not seem affected by it. My next hunch is to ask her why she doesn't tell the guy straight out. She would then probably say to me that she thought it was funny and she wanted to share it with me and that I am uptight for feeling strange about it. I want to avoid all of this... HELP hah Link to post Share on other sites
Red Flag Rick Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 sounds like you either haven't mastered the fine art of watching out for red flags or you have gone fishin' and hooked a crazy chick. i will assume that she is not crazy for now and say that she may be trying to get your attention and this is a really weird signal, or what i call a red flag... has she done this for a while? does she do anything else that seems wierd to you? and are you always fighting about something? i wouldn't ignore it because you are obviously affected by it, and frankly, this one is kinda freaky and i think it deserves some attention... give some more info on how your relationship has been and how you think things are going... Link to post Share on other sites
livingthelife Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 your girlfriend is trying to make you jealous!!!! you should confront her and let her know how you feel. Not all confrontation has to be an argument... Maybe she will reveal things you never realized. Maybe she has self esteem issues, maybe you dont make her feel like a WOMAN? I dont mean that in any bad way.. Women love attention and to be flattered by their guy.... Her tactics seem childish.. I think a good relationship is one that you both can share openly how you feel and not be afraid... Try it.. bet you will be surprised by her response Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Red Flag Rick Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 i'm with you, living... i don't think he has managed this relationship right and she is trying to get his attention... and she has probably sent out signals way before now - girls usually do... and those big ole' lugs usually have no idea what is going on... he just doesn't know how to read signals, or red flags, from women... i had a huge post written regarding this, but i saved it and i want to hear more before i unleash the reality check that only a sassy gay man can deliver. actually, it's not too sassy... i have just heard this same complaint from my str8 girl and guy friends for years, and i think i can give him some insight on why guys continually fail to recognize the needs that women have, and how to spot the signals that women give that let their man know he has screwed up and it is time to start communicating. i want him to respond to my questions and then i will respond and include what i wrote to him - i think it will open his eyes to a world that he desperately needs to see. if a guy keeps wondering what is wrong or "what'd i do???," he needs to jump into this new world faster than he will ever know... Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Originally posted by Red Flag Rick he just doesn't know how to read signals, or red flags, from women... i had a huge post written regarding this, but i saved it and i want to hear more before i unleash the reality check that only a sassy gay man can deliver. Oh, brother I just had a mental picture of a "red flag" Link to post Share on other sites
Red Flag Rick Posted May 1, 2004 Share Posted May 1, 2004 cute pappy - now give us your take on what is going on in the original post. Link to post Share on other sites
capitald Posted May 1, 2004 Share Posted May 1, 2004 audiojunky, you are moving to slow, if you don't make more of a commitment or tell her how you feel soon, you are going to lose her. Link to post Share on other sites
average guy Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 Hi Audiojunky, I just posted a reply to your other topic, and I am wondering if this is the same girlfriend who has urged you to see a therapist? And if so, what her reasons were? I am also wondering if her actions might be having some effect on the behaviour outbursts that you mentioned in your other post. Lastly, if you have not told her about your past yet, I would highly advise that you DO NOT tell her at this time - you need to have the full, complete trust of someone you confide in with your past. Otherwise, unlike Rick, I haven't a clue about knowing what the signals women send us mean, so I would wait for his upcoming promised epic post (which I can't wait to read! for help with this specific situation Cheers, A.G. Link to post Share on other sites
Red Flag Rick Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 ok ok! it will be a sweet post, i promise! it was already toned down anyway...and it certainly wouldnt be epic... i would just like to have answers to my previous questions before i give him more thoughts, thats all... Link to post Share on other sites
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