It seems that "most" women either find a man hot or ugly

[Necromancer]

Find you the hottest thing ever or you are ugly. There is no middle ground.

 

And ofc they find 80% of men not worth their holyness.

 

And keep your "ohh all women are like that" to yourself.

[verhrzn]

I don't get your point. So what if 80% of women don't find you attractive, if 10% think you are the hottest thing ever. Are you trying to date every woman on Earth?

[somedude81]

Find you the hottest thing ever or you are ugly. There is no middle ground.

 

And ofc they find 80% of men not worth their holyness.

 

And keep your "ohh all women are like that" to yourself.

I don't think it's that women think you're ugly if they aren't attracted to you, you're just invisible. Sure they'd be nice to you and all, but they'd never dream of sleeping with you.

 

And yeah, that's how women see 80% of men.

[Mme. Chaucer]

If I'm not attracted to a guy, it's not because of my "holiness" or, usually, the worthiness of the guys I'm not attracted to.

 

We like what we like.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Not my I rate on a scale

[GoodOnPaper]

I don't think it's that women think you're ugly if they aren't attracted to you, you're just invisible. Sure they'd be nice to you and all, but they'd never dream of sleeping with you.

 

And yeah, that's how women see 80% of men.

 

I think we men do this, too, but the percentages may be flipped. When I was young, I remember estimating that about 2/3 to 3/4 of the women I saw in my dating age range were physically attractive enough for my tastes. Therefore, when I was rejected by women, I took it to mean that I was among the 25% lowest of the male species. I don't know if that's how the women were thinking about it . . .

[somedude81]

I think we men do this, too, but the percentages may be flipped. When I was young, I remember estimating that about 2/3 to 3/4 of the women I saw in my dating age range were physically attractive enough for my tastes. Therefore, when I was rejected by women, I took it to mean that I was among the 25% lowest of the male species. I don't know if that's how the women were thinking about it . . .

Yeah I do the same thing.

 

Roughly 75% of girls in my age range 20-35ish are physically attractive enough for me to consider dating them.

 

I've always suspected that women had higher standards for looks, but it was still a shock when I learned that most women think only about 20% of men are attractive enough to date. And then all those women would gladly wait in line to be used by a 20% guy

[xxoo]

Very few men are ugly to me.

 

Very few men are hot to me.

 

Most reside in a neutral area, where they look perfectly fine, but I don't want to get naked with them.

 

After interacting with a man, he can move out of the neutral zone--but most don't.

[somedude81]

Very few men are ugly to me.

 

Very few men are hot to me.

 

Most reside in a neutral area, where they look perfectly fine, but I don't want to get naked with them.

 

After interacting with a man, he can move out of the neutral zone--but most don't.

Pretty much what I wrote in my first post of the thread.

 

From a man's point of view, it almost seems that women are broken.

 

They are just way too picky.

 

But humans haven't gone extinct yet.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

I've always suspected that women had higher standards for looks, but it was still a shock when I learned that most women think only about 20% of men are attractive enough to date. And then all those women would gladly wait in line to be used by a 20% guy

 

I know I've tried to help you understand before, but this thread seems like a good place to try again:

 

IT IS NOT TRUE THAT "MOST" WOMEN THINK THAT 20% OF MEN ARE ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH TO DATE.

 

You need to "unlearn" this falsehood.

 

I understand that you persist in looking at all the women in the world as "attractive enough" and "not attractive enough" for YOU to consider dating.

 

I don't know if "most" guys do this, or not. I tend to think not. I believe that most people respond to individuals. We are either attracted to a person, or not. It's not a thing of "not attractive enough." For most of us.

 

And, if we aren't feeling the attraction, for many of us, there is no point in "giving a chance" because we've learned already that if there isn't a "spark," one is not going to happen. That's been explored a lot in other recent threads.

 

Pertinent to the OP - I wonder why this has to be looked at as a gender issue at all? What does that serve?

 

 

From a man's point of view, it almost seems that women are broken.

 

They are just way too picky.

 

 

Why are women "broken" or "picky" because they / we go out with men we like and who we're attracted to? Are you broken and picky?

 

How can you logically persist in holding onto this view when everywhere you look are average or even poor looking men AND women on dates, having families, etc.?

 

I know your vision is skewed by where you are in life right now … it does not have anything to do with the real state of affairs between men and women.

 

I assure you that in all my years of being a married mom, through my daughter's years at school, and in my professional life, I saw and knew personally dozens; maybe even hundreds of married men / dads who were absolutely NOTHING to look at. They were not rich. They were not tall. They may not have been in the "top 20%" of anything. Many of them had wives who were "above" them, for those of you who persist in putting people on a numerical scale of looks.

 

They WERE MARRIED. Their wives chose them.

Edited November 12, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge

[River Rain]

On first glance, I will notice the attractive men and probably not pay attention to those I find unattractive. If they're not my taste, they're instantly off my radar. But for me, I appreciate lots of different looks/types of men, so I would say I find maybe 50% or more of the men I see attractive - again, on first glance. Personality either enhances them to "hot" or turns them into "ugly" for me.

[somedude81]

I know I've tried to help you understand before, but this thread seems like a good place to try again:

 

IT IS NOT TRUE THAT "MOST" WOMEN THINK THAT 20% OF MEN ARE ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH TO DATE.

 

You need to "unlearn" this falsehood.

This is the first time I've seen you trying to unlearn me about this idea.

 

Anyways, it's been said over and over again that women are only attracted to a very small percentage of men. The general idea is that a girl can walk into a room of 10 random guys and think that only two of them are attractive. Are you disputing that theory?

I understand that you persist in looking at all the women in the world as "attractive enough" and "not attractive enough" for YOU to consider dating.

 

I don't know if "most" guys do this, or not. I tend to think not. I believe that most people respond to individuals. We are either attracted to a person, or not. It's not a thing of "not attractive enough." For most of us.

Why are you only addressing that post to me?

 

Did you not see?

 

I think we men do this, too, but the percentages may be flipped. When I was young, I remember estimating that about 2/3 to 3/4 of the women I saw in my dating age range were physically attractive enough for my tastes.

 

Also why is it bugging you at all that I am attracted to a large percentage of women?

 

Oh no, somedude81 think that lots of women are pretty, you need to hide your kids, hid your wife.

 

 

 

And, if we aren't feeling the attraction, for many of us, there is no point in "giving a chance" because we've learned already that if there isn't a "spark," one is not going to happen. That's been explored a lot in other recent threads.

I haven't mentioned "giving chances" or anything like it in this thread.

 

 

Why are women "broken" or "picky" because they / we go out with men we like and who we're attracted to? Are you broken and picky?

I said women are too picky.

 

Refer back to the 20% idea.

 

As someone who thinks that 75% of women in my age range are attractive, something feels very wrong when those same women are only attracted to 20% of men.

 

How can you logically persist in holding onto this view when everywhere you look are average or even poor looking men AND women on dates, having families, etc.?

Women eventually grow up and realize that their high standards weren't doing them any favors and they settle.

[xxoo]

Pretty much what I wrote in my first post of the thread.

 

From a man's point of view, it almost seems that women are broken.

 

They are just way too picky.

 

But humans haven't gone extinct yet.

 

We aren't broken. We are exactly as we are designed to be: choosy. Why would I want to carry and raise just any guy's baby?! A guy needs to stand out in some way for a woman to have that urge.

 

Were are different, and that's ok. It doesn't make men wrong or women wrong.

[xxoo]

As someone who thinks that 75% of women in my age range are attractive, something feels very wrong when those same women are only attracted to 20% of men.

 

But different men. I'm not attracted to my friend's husbands. They are very attracted to them.

 

 

Women eventually grow up and realize that their high standards weren't doing them any favors and they settle.

 

Insulting. We're hot for our men!

[kaylan]

Hmmm theres been middle ground in my experience. Ive had girls think Im ok looking, or cute...but not in the way that gets them going. Then Ive had those girls who thought I was hot and sexy, or those girls who thought I was super cute and fun. And lastly, Ive had those girls who didnt find me attractive at all.

 

It does run the gamut OP. At least in my experience.