Toxic famly

[aventura]

My husband and I had our first child two months ago and our large extended family-aunts, uncles, cousins-have yet to congratulate and acknowledge our child. We are so shocked and hurt. We don't understand why they haven't congratulated us. no phone call, card, gift nothing...

Only one aunt came to visit us in the hospital and bought a gift for baby. She initially told us she was going to buy us a gift from our registry with two other aunts but she said they kept stalling so she ended up buying the gift alone. Furthermore, I feel terrible the way this large extended family has treated me and my new hubby. Our siblings live far away in Australia that none of them have seen our baby yet. Also our parents have died, except my husband's father (in Australia), so it adds more hurt that our relatives are showing no support whatsoever for us and our new baby.

Only one other aunt acknowledged our baby by leaving voicemails but no card or gift for baby. she always sends us birthday and xmas cards, so why can't she send a baby congratulatory card?

These same toxic aunts and uncles took the time to go to a funeral after my baby was born for an elderly relative but not to come visit me in hospital or the baby.

Even strangers have shared our joy as well as neighbors and long lost friends with congratulatory cards or a small outfit for baby.

We can't figure out why some 35+ relatives haven't found it in their hearts to pick up the phone and leave a congratulatory message, something.

we didn't want to send these relatives a birth announcement but we ended up sending them to everyone so none could ever say they never knew etc...still no calls except my godmother called (she had never called before to congratulate us) and said she got the birth announcement picture, say hi to everyone and "i just called to say thank you for sending the picture"????? how am i supposed to take that phone call. and how come she never congratulated me or asked to see baby. nothing. I know my large extended family knows proper etiquette because in the past whenever family members gave birth, at a minimum, these same relatives would shower them with gifts and congratulatory money cards. they also know my husband isn't working at the moment and times are tough, so we are just perplexed. what's the best way to handle this? and would you invite them to the baptism. I dont want t invite any of them except the family who did acknowledge our baby with a gift. if they can't be nice to people/family when they have a first baby, they'll never be nice...our minister advised us not to invite them, saying they're awful people and your baby doesn't need family like that. my hubby's dad said invite them to the baptism, they'll probably give the baby money. personally, I'd rather extinguish ties with these toxic people and i certainly don't want their money after being totally ignored with my first and long awaited pregnancy. i probably won't have another child and they know it as this was a complicated pregnancy. they really took away alot of my joy for this pregnancy. I really thought they would shower us with kindness and some gifts knowing. Instead of giving us more attention knowing our mothers aren't alive, they isolated us. What's the best way to handle this and move on?????

[cocorico]

Surely your delight should be in your baby, not in the anticipation of gifts?