Do you think casual sex is truly possible?

[Nikki Sahagin]

Can people truly have casual sex (I mean with amazing chemistry) and not have it trigger love/lust/obsession/infatuation?

 

I can understand people sleeping with each other and having no strong feelings for one another but also lacking in strong sexual chemistry, but I would imagine any strong chemistry would also encourage infatuation/strong passion that would cause some degree of attachment.

 

Do you think it's easier for men or women to have casual sex?

Do you think sex without feelings/complications truly exists? If so, in most cases, or just in some?

[Els]

History and statistics demonstrate that it's easier for men in general.

 

Re: the premise of the thread, difficult, but not impossible. Sure, sex generates oxytocin, dopamine, and a whole lot of other hormones/neurotransmitters, making you feel attached and happy. That would be difficult to ignore. But humans are able to override it with conscious decisions. Just as how a person on a diet can resist ice cream with varying degrees of difficulty, so also can some people resist the potential of developing interest, if they really need to maintain the FWB arrangement. And some people just don't like ice cream/relationships, period.

[ThatDudeXO]

It was before I knew what love felt like. I used to have no problems sleeping with a random chick, having great sex with no emotional attachment but now I just can't do it.

 

Maybe I'm not fully healed or maybe I've changed.

[betterdeal]

Sure, people can have great sex without bonding with the other person on any level other than sexual, be it a one-off or a booty call arrangement. Not all people, I will add, but some people can, and do, have casual sex that feels great and satisfies their needs. Millions will be doing just that this summer all along the Mediterranean, South East Asia, the Gulf of Mexico and other holiday resorts. Plenty of upper class people will have enjoyable sex with underlings, staff, interns &c. while maintaining a stable, rewarding and enjoyable family. Swingers will swing. Some men develop very amicable, regular arrangements with prostitutes. Some middle class people will have one night stands at conferences or on planes. Working class lads in the countryside will be fingering one girl behind the bus stop on a Friday and another on Saturday.

 

It's not for everyone, and it's not always what those that do enjoy it want all the time, but in some circumstances it works. It can also lead to something more enjoyable or painful. It's part of life for many people.

[johan]

People who can do it definitely exist. I think the challenge is in getting two people together who can both be casual about it. If you figure, maybe 10% of people can actually do it, then the likelihood of two such people finding each other is about 1%. Seems like a fair estimate. Some low percentage of those kinds of arrangements/relationships actually work out for both people. It's more normal for one person to be perfectly happy about it while the other feels totally ripped off.

[Million.to.1]

If you are both searching for love...and having a FWB situation to fill in the gap, then no. It is inevitably going to get complicated, or one will get more attached or one will feel guilty etc.

It is hard to share a certain level of intimacy and share time with someone and still be "single"

 

It's not impossible.... but very hard to maintain it as it is without a dynamic changing along the line somewhere.

 

When you have sex on tap that doesn't mean any deeper love... after a while it feels empty and you long for something more.

 

It also stops you from being open to real love opportunities.