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Im a girl, I have a boyfriend. But Im in love with my best friend, who is ALSO a girl

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Old 24th March 2012, 4:35 PM   #1
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Im a girl, I have a boyfriend. But Im in love with my best friend, who is ALSO a girl

I know your all probably thinking that what im thinking is just plain stupid and impossible, and that im being immature. But heres the thing. Im bi-sexual and I'm ashamed of myself enough...Nobody really knows except for my boyfriend and he accepts it, which puts a smile on my face. But I'm in love with my best friend at the same time. (Lets all remember here im a girl and my best friend is a girl.)

She thinks she's bi-sexual too...And i think it'd work, but I love my boyfriend too and hes just so sweet...We've broken up before. Twice to be exact, because we really want it to work. And so far, it is...I feel stupid for thinking these things and I dont know what to do. I feel ashamed and stupid...And I hate upsetting and hurting people. So cheating on my boyfriend isnt the best option..

I dont know what to do...? Im ashamed for liking girls already, but my best friend...Even if I did break up with my boyfriend for her, I doubt she'd actually date me...But shes just so perfect...But I love my boyfriend too
And I said "Oatmeal?! Are you CRAZY?!"
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Old 24th March 2012, 5:57 PM   #2
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Cheating on your boyfriend isn't an option at all.

you have to face facts:
It's either one or the other, but you can't have both.
So you have to decide which is more important to you.
Either be in a committed relationship with just one person, or be a person with no firm commitment, but the options of swinging whichever way the mode takes you.
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Old 24th March 2012, 6:04 PM   #3
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I'm not trying to be crass here: I've found that a lot of guys seem to like that about a girl/woman. They tend to not mind if the other woman gets involved in things (not cheating, and no breaking up). Have you had that type of talk with him?

I've never been in this situation, so I'm not sure what to say. I've only ever crushed on male friends. There's no need to be ashamed of yourself, though. Really. (I mean, for being bi, if that's what you were getting at.)
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Old 24th March 2012, 6:16 PM   #4
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Since cheating isn't an option (you'll lose both of them if you do), keep what you feel for your bestfriend to yourself. There's a pretty good chance she's not into you that way either and it's not worth ruining what you DO have with her now. Focus on the friendship with her and not in a sexual or romantic way. Appreciate who she is and be glad she's in your life.

Accept who you are. Try not to be ashamed of being bi.

If things in the future end with your bf, then re think the bestfriend senario, but for now, focus on him and what you two share as boyfriend/girlfriend.
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Old 25th March 2012, 9:07 AM   #5
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It doesn't sound like she knows about your feelings. If that's the case, then it may be a matter of curiousity, such as your pining for her because you think you MIGHT have a chance.

The way I see it you have two options:

a) Even though it will be ackward and weird, I think you need to be honest with your best friend about your feelings. Tell her that you have no desire to cheat on your boyfriend but needed to tell her. THEN, if she does not reciprocate your feelings you can start to move past it and work on acceptance.

b) Do not tell your best friend about your feelings, and distance yourself from your best friend and concentrate on your relationship with your boyfriend. Then you may be able to start to get over her and be happy with your boyfriend.

Last edited by Lauriebell82; 25th March 2012 at 9:09 AM..
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Old 25th March 2012, 11:51 PM   #6
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there is no reason to be ashamed of yourself.
i also went through a situation very similar tothis.
i had been with my boyriend for just over a year wen i realised i had developed feelings for my best friend. i tried to ignore the way i felt and avoided bein alone with her as much as i could but in the end i could not help the way i felt. although i loved my boyfriend very much, i came to ealise if i was having feelings for someone else they musnt be the one i loved most. i broke up with him and talked with my best friend about my feelings even though i was sure shewould never return my feelings. it turns out i was completely wrong. yesterday we celebrated our one year anniversary and i never felt like this with my boyfriend,i was never this deeply in love.
my ex forgave me a very long time ago nwe are now best friends.and although y girlfriend doesnt particularly like that she understands that i have only feelings for her.
so take a chance, youll never know if you dont try. you may end up a lot happier with the girl you like.
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