DonCanard Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 A week ago I accidentally came across my partner's sex diary that she has been keeping since a teenager. Yes, I succumbed to temptation and read it. I'm glad I did because now I know what I'm dealing with. We've both just hit 40 and have been together 5 years. At the beginning of our relationship we laid out our cards about honesty, fidelity, etc. One topic that was important to me was that of sexual history (insecurity, I know) and she mentioned a number that made me uncomfortable, especially since I could only say 3. 1) Reading the diary has revealed that her true number is much, much higher and this is a problem to me. The bigger problem is that she lied. Her whole story about her relationship past has been a pack of lies. That is what I'm most upset about - the lies. 2) One of her social circle of friends is a guy that she has known since teenage years. From the beginning I noticed how he looks at her - this raised my suspicions. I asked her at the beginning if there was history between them and she said 'no'. The diary says there was several explicit sexual encounters 15 years ago, but she has chosen to lie about this. Furthermore, a year in to relationship I caught her out lying about meeting this guy one night. She said then that he was having problems with his wife and wanted to talk to someone. I believed this and forgave her deception. Now I look at that incident and wonder if it was not so innocent? 3) Another topic was that of one-night stands. My moral code does not approve of 1-night stands. In the beginning of our relationship she said that she had never had a 1-night stand. The truth is that she has had dozens. A common entry in the diary about these is "I didn't really want to, but I did it anyway. Oh, I am so naughty." I'm upset about this lie, but am bizarrely curious as to why a sophisticated, intelligent woman engages in this kind of activity. I'm now wondering if I can trust her when she's away from me. 4) Fidelity is vital to me and she claimed the same. The diary reveals that at one stage she was 3-timing her long standing boyfriend of the time. Two-timing a few others happened too. Can I trust her any more? 5) She has also not been choosy about the sort of men that she has jumped in to bed with. I'm disgusted and wonder if I should have myself checked. 6) Her diary entries are very explicit, but are not figments of her imagination because there are photos too. She has performed sex acts that she claims she has never done or will ever do. She has never done any of those things with me. I can't help but wonder why. I now feel that the person beside me is a very different person than the one I fell in love with. It feels like I don't know her, but at the same time I have a deeper knowledge of her history. Is it only a matter of time before she cheats on me? I am shaken to my core about what I have discovered. I have no appetite and am sleeping badly. The other day we got physical and I was floppy-c*cky. The thing is that all this was in the past. I have no evidence to suggest that anything untoward has happened since I caught her out in the first year. However, I now have the urge to hack in to her email and inspect her phone. My gut tells me I will find stuff I won't like. If I find she has been cheating on me, then its over; I have no problem ending it. This new-found knowledge has changed my world for the worse and I'm in a bad emotional state. I don't know what to do about this. I feel she is a slut, a liar and a cheat. I feel like a fool. What would you do? Thanks for your input. Don.
Heart On Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 (edited) I feel she is a slut, a liar and a cheat. I feel like a fool. You are a fool! You claim to LOVE this woman and this is what you think of her PAST even though it's LONG over with!? Talk about "holier than thou"! Obviously you think you are perfect and she doesn't deserve you. From where I sit,you are FAR from perfect dude! And you wonder WHY she wasn't honest with you? Look at how deceptive YOU are by reading her PRIVATE diary? Look at how judgemental you are about her #! Look at how immoral it was for you to betray HER trust by reading about her experiences. If she's a "slut" in your mind now,and you can't seem to respect her anymore,do her the favor and inform her that you read her diary and let her kick YOU to the curb. Just because at 35 you had only had 3 lovers,doesn't make her "slutty" for having a higher number! She may have omitted her true number,because she wasn't so proud of her past and wanted to turn over a new leaf and commit to you. Will she cheat? Has she cheated on you thus far? No more than you just "cheated" on her by reading something that was TOTALLY OFF LIMITS to you! My xh did that to me and it's not only RUDE...it's no less a deal breaker than her sexual past is to you! Did you enjoy her skills and your sexlife before you found out the truth? If so,the only reason she's good in bed is thanks to her past experiences! Think about it! You have been with her for 5 years disease free.....I doubt you need to be tested.And if she wrote everything out,you'd know if she had cheated on you. Since you want to judge her for her PAST...let her judge you for your Present choice to invade her privacy and go find a virgin you can't judge when she dumps you! What should you do? Confess that you don't respect her boundaries and privacy and then inform her that she's a slut in your mind,admit that there is NO trust in this relationship on either end and end it. Edited December 1, 2011 by Heart On
oldguy Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 If all you say, or she has written is true, I think it's a bit unusual to keep a 'sex diary' complete with pictures. That just doesn't sound right. As for her fidelity; that has a lot to do with history. How long has it been since she was in a relationship in which she did not cheat. In other words, if this was an issue 15 years ago but not since, it is history. As to the problem you do have some control over; that is your perception. This issue, lets call it what it is, 'retroactive jealousy', is your problem, not hers. Look, the past is the past as long as it is, 'the past'. I've referred to it as credit history or credit score in many other posts. People with a poor credit score will, deservedly have trouble getting a loan. However a credit score can be improved with effort over time. I'm referring to the issue of infidelity not the number of people she has had sex with. That number is relative. Your perception of her due to her sexual history, the number of partners, is your problem & you should get help with that issue... on your own. Seriously, it is something you can get help with, I'm not at all ripping on you for it. The fact that she lied maybe a different issue. I would think she lied because she was embarrassed if not for the fact that she kept a sex diary complete with pictures & she obviously left such material where you would fine it may suggest something else entirely different.
Woggle Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 People can sit here and call you judgmental but it is only a matter of time before she is two timing you as well. These types rarely change.
oldguy Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 People can sit here and call you judgmental but it is only a matter of time before she is two timing you as well. These types rarely change. People do change if what they are doing doesn't work for them. But if she's over 30, 35, & still exhibiting this behavior your probably right.
shayla Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 When you are 20, okay you want someone that is as inexperienced as you. But once you get upwards of 40, it is understood that anyone you meet that is your age will have had a life before you came along. If you weren't comfortable with the life she had before she met you, you should have put the brakes on it then. When she told you her number of men and you didn't like it, that should have stopped you then. And now she is a slut? Come on now! If she was going to cheat on you, she would have done it long before 5 years!
Woggle Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 The sex is not an issue but the cheating in multiple relationships is a huge red flag.
Heart On Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 (edited) Yes, I succumbed to temptation. If you can't forgive her past,then you shouldn't forgive your present either. People can sit here and call you judgmental but it is only a matter of time before she is two timing you as well. These types rarely change. And what type is that? Teengers and 20 somethings who enjoy sex and who write in PRIVATE diaries? Unreal.I knew there would be at least a few men here who would ignore the fact that this OP is no less DECEPTIVE than he considers her. DIARIES are OFF LIMITS! PERIOD.What right did you have opening up HER past choices and scritinizing them as though you are "god"? Anything that happens BEFORE a committed relationship has EVERY RIGHT to be left in the past and not mentioned as it's NONE of anyone's business but the individuals! If she chose to inform you,that's one thing,but where doesit say in what "rule book" that you should be privy to the sorts of things a private diary would contain? And yes...he is EXTREMELY judgemental and needs some serious therapy to work on his own control,boundary and trust issues. If I'm her,I'd SOOO want to know right away that I was dealing with someone who doesn't respect my personal things or me for that matter. I just hope the blame and shame he heaps onto her,doesn't force her to submit to him and start apologizing before she realizes just how UNCOOL it was of him to"succumb to temptation".Screw what she did in the past at this point! It's the OP who has some answering to do! My guy knows my number,only because I feel no shame,nor need to lie because I knew he wouldn't judge me nor look down on me and he enjoys the experience my past sexual partners provided me with...but then again...he's not two faced nor judgemental. Edited December 1, 2011 by Heart On
Woggle Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Like I said before the sex is not an issue but the serial cheating is. The past predicts the future in most cases and if she cheated in the past two relationships what makes you think she will all of a sudden change?
Way2blue Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 I guess it's time to fess up and have an honest conversation. This is going to be awkward, because you'll have to admit you read her diary. Before you jump to conclusions you should take into consideration that, although lying is not a good thing, her previous actions probably cause her some embarrassment. If she were not sorry about how she was in the past she wouldn't be hiding it. We all have skeletons in our closets. She must have wanted to make a good impression on you. A lot of young (and not so young) women have low self esteem and mistake sex for love. Or they use it to get someone to have interest in them, as they do not feel they have anything else to offer. Perhaps this was the case with her. Judge not that ye be not judged. Remember- "let he who is without sin cast the first stone". If you love her have a heart to heart. Maybe you can get her to try some of those moves on you!
Author DonCanard Posted December 2, 2011 Author Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) Good people, thank you for your input. I appreciate it. I am not proud of invading her privacy, but I am glad to know the truth. Anybody who knows me would be shocked that I did such a thing. It is out of character for me. Of all the good posts above, I like the last post by Way2Blue the most as it mirrors what I'm thinking right now. My initial shock is giving way to anger now. I tend to agree that she is embarrassed and wanted to turn a new page in her life. This has been her longest relationship by far. A more careful reading of the times when she was two timing guys shows that once a relationship was in trouble, she moved on to another guy. This bothers me because our relationship hasn't been great of late; we've both been unemployed for this year and its starting to damage us. Her relationship pattern of the past indicates that under these circumstances she looks for ways out. We're at a delicate juncture here. The insight that she uses sex to get love makes perfect sense to me. It's what she seems to do, but this does not explain the 1-night stands. She liked speed-dating and internet dating and would occasionally sleep with the guy on the first or second date. I still can't understand that. I think I'm struggling with this because I was brought up very conservatively. I believe sex serves as a part of a relationship and should never be the relationship. In an attempt to share with the group, but not necessarily correct or confront some of the other posts above, I shall say the following: 1) There is a big difference to me being told I was no. 14 when I'm actually no.64 . So what do the ladies think of her now? I was married for 15 years and was totally faithful, as I have been to her. It's how I am. 2) Given that she is such a convincing liar, having a heart to heart at this stage could only render partial honesties. I'll always wonder if she was telling the truth. I have resolved to gather more information. (Howls of outrage follow...) Then I'll ask questions that I know the answers to when I open this can of worms. 3) I'm loathe to take any hasty course of action while in an emotional state. I'll calm down, think it through, take on board the contributions made here and then decide what to do. It's going to be hard to fake "normal". 4) Simplistically, my options are to end it, say nothing and accept it, discuss it and see where that leads, or come up with an alternative. I have too much invested in this relationship to give up easily, but I'm not prepared to wait to become a cuckold either. HeartOn, I hear what you say. It was never my intention by posting my dilemma to have upset anyone so much as I have appeared to upset you. You are shrieking at me and it seems you are reliving the moment when you had this conversation with your ex. If you opened a box and all these types of papers and photos of your current partner fell out, would you not look at them as you picked them up? How I feel now is that I want to still be with her, for the same reason I have loved her all along, i.e. for who she is. Perhaps I'm a love fool? If I can find a way of dealing with her shocking past, this will be a big help. Then I can move on to dealing with breaking her relationship pattern of splitting whenever the going get tough, as it is now. How to have a conversation about my discovery, if at all necessary, is another challenge. What do you suggest? Don Edited December 2, 2011 by DonCanard
Milocat Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Good people, thank you for your input. I appreciate it. Don I for one would be as pissed as you finding all this out. She flat out presented herself to be the opposite of who she honestly is. Now, this could be because she doesn't WANT to be that way so she was 'faking it till she made it', but she still was lying. You need to be presented with the truth, or a rough estimate of what is true (I for one don't want exact numbers or any other details of my S.O's past... just an idea) and then it is on you to decide if that is something you can live with. She didn't give you that opp. My FI had a VERY active sexual past and did things that I would never do myself. But just because he did them in his past doesn't mean that he wanted to do them in his present and future. Certain sexual acts the did with exes he doesn't care to repeat with me *even if* he liked them at the time (IE: Threesomes) Reason being? His and my relationship is completely diff. He looks at me differently. I am his one-day wife and mother of his children type of thing. So your S.O could be in the same mind set with you. That is something to keep in mind. I personally would confront her about the diary. You invaded her privacy but she was deceptive on a *VERY* serious level with you. Tit for tat. If she can't handle that you went through the diary and give you an explanation that is plausible, then I think you guys are prob better off parting ways because the trust will NEVER be repaired. Good luck!
Heart On Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) HeartOn, I hear what you say. It was never my intention by posting my dilemma to have upset anyone so much as I have appeared to upset you. You are shrieking at me and it seems you are reliving the moment when you had this conversation with your ex.If you opened a box and all these types of papers and photos of your current partner fell out, would you not look at them as you picked them up? LOL...I'm not that upset.(I just use alot of caps)Believe me,you life mean's nothing to me in the grand scheme of things. So,it just fell into your hands then...I see.I would not read them nor would I lie about who I am as i would rather be hated for who I am,than loved for who I am not and I have zero shame that my # is 36.I've had alot of sex and I've been played and used by alot of guys who lied and said they wanted more and added to my number with unworthy losers! You really can't know her motives or reasons,without discussing it with her and she obviously didn't want to talk about it.So now,the onus is on you to admit that you betrayed her too. As for why my reaction? I could possibly be her(minus the detailed diary) and it saddened me for her sake,to read just how you reacted,that's all. My xH knew my number and loved me anyways. Some of 'us' were actually sexually abused as children,and went on to act out in "promiscuious" ways in our teens and early 20's as part of the long term effects of said abuse and it just isn't fair that because of that,we also wind up being considered "sluts" unworthy of love or forgiveness or at least some form of conscession,for having reacted in self abusing ways. For all you know,that's her story. A week ago I accidentally came across my partner's sex diary that she has been keeping since a teenager. Yes, I succumbed to temptation and read it. I'm glad I did because now I know what I'm dealing with. I'm 'shrieking"(I tend to capitalize to make my point loud and clear) at the fact that you had no right to read her private diary and that you called her a slut. Both of those things make you no better than her in my book.In my situation,I had already come clean to my xH about my feelings and actions and when he read my diary,he found out that I was telling the truth all along! So no,it's not that I am reliving a "moment",it's that men seem to think they can judge a woman's sexual past as though they are somehow better and I have seen it alot in forums.And the fact is,you know you could have just put that stuff back where you found it. I could have written the below post too, as that is exactly how I felt,but it struck me as heartless that you crossed that line and anything you found there after should not be "admissible" in terms of you judging her.Your post sounded so unfair on multiple levels to her. Not everyone has the same "morality" and we are all equal anyways and deserve to be respected and a right to our privacy. People ONLY lie/omit to people they KNOW will look down on them. I guess it's time to fess up and have an honest conversation. This is going to be awkward, because you'll have to admit you read her diary. Before you jump to conclusions you should take into consideration that, although lying is not a good thing, her previous actions probably cause her some embarrassment. If she were not sorry about how she was in the past she wouldn't be hiding it. We all have skeletons in our closets. She must have wanted to make a good impression on you. A lot of young (and not so young) women have low self esteem and mistake sex for love. Or they use it to get someone to have interest in them, as they do not feel they have anything else to offer. Perhaps this was the case with her. Judge not that ye be not judged. Remember- "let he who is without sin cast the first stone". If you love her have a heart to heart. Maybe you can get her to try some of those moves on you! PS.The longer you withhold the fact that you read her entire diary,the shorter your leg to stand on will be.Right now,you are no less a liar than she is. Edited December 2, 2011 by Heart On
Author DonCanard Posted December 3, 2011 Author Posted December 3, 2011 This is getting ridiculous now. Yesterday my computer started acting up. I used to work in IT and know a few things. I found spyware that was recording my internet usage and was sending a daily report to somebody. This was installed in December 2007. Who could it be? A few minutes ago I was looking for a spare memory stick and knew she had one in her stationery cabinet. I recognised my handwriting on a piece of paper that was sticking out. The piece of paper along with a second one were photocopies of my website accounts and their passwords. This is my email, bank accounts, the works. From some of the old passwords I know that the copy was taken in Summer 2010. She has been spying on me for a very long time. I'm stunned. I have given her no reason to do so. She must have been disappointed because she found nothing - I'm quite boring. I don't feel so bad about my discovery of the other day now. Was her guilt over her lies driving her to seek ways to level a score? Why would she spy on me? What a ****ty pair we make. We can't carry on like this. I don't hold much hope for us now. I'm going to have it out with her tonight.
Author DonCanard Posted December 3, 2011 Author Posted December 3, 2011 I thought inexperienced me had somehow managed to snag a lady of virtue and dignity. Instead the truth is that an old whore decided to try and settle down and chose me. What a fool I have been. A total and utter fool.
Janesays Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I'm going to pipe in here with a possibility.... I have one of those 'sex diaries' that your wife has. Some of it was true. But a lot of it (The majority, in fact) was just fantasy. It was how I used to masturbate when I was younger. I'd start writing something sexy. *shrugs
Author DonCanard Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 No, there is no imagination involved in the entries. As I have said, there are photos too and soppy love letters from the guys afterwards. I'm not enjoying this dishonesty and I'm going through hell right now. I lie next to her at night, fighting back the tears, hoping not to wake her. Although I now live in a liberal democracy, I was not brought up in one. In England it seems there is little morality accompanying sex and relationships are just another disposable commodity. She's English, I'm not. I am seeing things with new eyes now, though. She never lets her phone out of her sight - she even takes it with her when she showers. Going out and about with her in the last few days I've noticed that she looks at other guys a lot, especially black guys. She only checks her email on her own. All these behaviours have been there all along, but I missed them because I was naively secure in the relationship; in my head at least. Obviously not hers, given her sustained and comprehensive snooping campaign. Her insecurities got the better of her it seems and now I doubt whether I can ever trust her again. I didn't have it out with her last night. I've decided on a course of action that, after some time, will ultimately result in a shouting match, but there are a few things I need to do first. I'm fighting fire with fire, although this is an unpleasantly new experience for me. Your input is still welcome. Don
Heart On Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 I'm fighting fire with fire, although this is an unpleasantly new experience for me. Why continue to stoop to her level? Two wrongs never make a right.
Author DonCanard Posted December 30, 2011 Author Posted December 30, 2011 Writing about this is something therapeutic and helps me organise my thoughts. So much of the feedback above has been helpful to me, so thank you one and all. An update is due, so here it is, warts and all. I planted some spyware on her computer and started reading her emails and FB messages. I only found one email that was alarming. It was a year in to our relationship and it was to a guy that had been a f*ck-buddy over the years. Her email ended “I love you and miss you.” I managed to get on to her phone, but everything prior to October had been wiped. I remembered that she had mentioned having problems with her phone at some stage. Tired of the snooping and deceit, I decided to have it out with her. It was naturally a very intense, dramatic and emotional exchange. I sat her down at 2pm and started by telling her that our relationship was at a crossroads. If she valued the relationship, she should start telling me the truth. I then put a series of questions to her that I knew the answers to. She stuck to her original lies that she had been telling me all along. I then revealed what I knew to be the truth to what she had just lied about. My exact knowledge shocked her and I then told her about my reading her diary. Obviously she freaked out, but calmed down once I pointed out the comparative importance and scale between my snooping and her lies and the things she had done before meeting me. By 6 pm she was starting to be honest with me. She even told me things that were not in her diaries. These unpalatable things were yet another disappointing shock to me, but I appreciated her honesty. There was a massive gap in her diary about the 2 years that she had spent in Australia. I asked her about this and she said that she never had any men in Australia. Given her history, I didn't believe this. I then explained how I considered honesty the foundation in a relationship. I had told her about this many times over. She seemed contrite about her behaviour towards me, but not about her history. She correctly said that there never would be a good time to have told me all these things that I now knew – and she was right. Knowing just a tenth of these things early on would have seen me leave her. Her story was that she never met the right man and that circumstances always intervened to prevent any nascent relationship developing further. To my mind, her periodic cheating didn't help matters either. She claimed that I was the first man she ever met that she thought she could spend the rest of her life with. She also told me how she felt about me in ways and terms that she had never used before, all of which had a massively positive effect on our exchange. I was mentally packing my bags and had sounded out friends about staying with them. We agreed to keep talking and I would stay put. Xmas was coming and I was looking for the Xmas decorations. I found the missing years in Australia diary. Yes, I read it. Yes, she lied as usual and badly too. She also made references to some events in her past and some of the new things she shared with me in our moment of honesty were distortions of the truth. I had been sitting there telling her how important the truth is to me, while she sat there telling me more lies. You can not imagine how I felt; words will never describe it. She came home and I immediately confronted her with what I knew. Her response? “Get out!” I started making calls to me friends and found a place from the next night onwards. I packed my bags and planned my departure. The house is in her name, as it was before we met. I spent the night on the sofa. It felt like it was over. I felt a sense of relief. At 6 the next morning I could hear her stumbling about in the bedroom. I went up and, without a word, got in the bed with her, hoping to have an unemotive talk. The exchange that we should have had the previous night then ensued. It was all very matter-of-fact and devoid of any sentimentality. We started discussing the practicalities of the break-up. By 9.30 she started to show emotion and began opening up to me. She told me that she didn't want me to go, but she understood why I felt the need to. That was exactly it. My logical side said “run”, but my heart said “try and work this out. Don't be hasty”. She then suggested that we spend some time apart. I agreed with this and spent the next 4 days with my best friend. He was an impartial, untainted voice of reason for me. He pointed out that most women will say or do anything to keep a man they love – hence her lies. He also got me to understand that most people, not just women, will lie about their past. All this got me to understand that it is best that I leave her past alone – she will only lie about it. The present and the future is what matters. He's known me since we were 14 and he told me things that only a good friend could. He said I'm too judgemental, have unrealistic expectations of other people and am intolerant of people lying to make life easier for everyone. Sadly, he's right. So after 4 days I went back to her to talk some more. We went to a neutral venue and had a good meal while trying to keep conversation light. As she became more comfortable in my presence, we started having a good heart to heart. She repeatedly assured me that she has not and will not cheat on me. She has explained that she was a very different person in those years. However, she also feels no shame or remorse over the things she did because they belong in the past. She was expecting me to pack my stuff and leave that night. She had emotionally prepared herself for this. She knew how morally uncompromising I can be and believed because of that we were history. On an emotional level I was feeling that trying to work it out is the right thing to do. On a logical level, the safe thing to do is to move on. I've decided to be brave and try to follow my heart. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. For some bizarre reason, I still love her. I think that love is the greatest motivator to help a relationship deal with anything. She was stunned to hear me say that I want to try and work this out. We both accept that we need to work on a mutually damaged trust issue. We have work ahead of us, but I feel that a missing piece of our relationship is now in place. There is now a true honesty and vulnerability where once there was a void. I've shared my (tame) secrets with her too, not just to even the score, but to largely invest in the trust between us. I still have moments of panic that overcome me when I think of something that I read in her diary. The nighttimes are the hardest. I try and stay positive and keep thinking of here and now. I don't for a moment think we're in the clear, far from it. We're starting afresh, but with a few lingering artefacts of the past plaguing us. We have a lot of work to do on both sides and new skills are required. Our immediate challenges are: 1) Rebuilding trust. I think its a conscious decision reinforced by a series of positive actions. 2) Being honest. She needs to be honest with me when in the past she would have lied. 3) Taking it slow. There are times when we're out of step in terms of our recovery. 4) Questions. I have so many questions that bother me, I still want answers. I don't want her feeling like at any moment I'm going to interrogate her. I need to ration and control myself. This is going to be a life-changing process for me. The outcome isn't certain, but I'm willing to try. What do you think?
Author DonCanard Posted January 4, 2012 Author Posted January 4, 2012 OldGuy, you are spot on - I do now have Retroactive Jealousy (RJ). Well done to you for knowing about it, spotting it in me and being good enough to point it out. I'd never heard of it, but am learning all about it - the hard way. I'm really writing on this forum to help me learn which is the right course of action. I'm also hoping that others can learn from my predicament. I'm normally a typical alpha male who always knows the right thing to do and confidence is never an issue. This event has thrown me like nothing ever before. What makes my RJ worse than normal cases is that there is nothing for me to imagine; she had written everything down in explicit detail. Does anybody know if RJ can ever be overcome? Thanks for your input. Don.
Emilia Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 It's a hilarious thread, to be honest I have real trouble believing much of it really. I love how you are seeing evidence of her 'sluttines' when she is 'checking out especially black guys' hahaha I'm guessing if any of this is true then she indeed tried to settle down with a conservative fuddy-duddy such as yourself. Clearly it ain't gonna work much longer Classic
azsinglegal Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 I'm curious as to what happened? I'll admit, at first I wanted to chastise you for reading her journal. But now, I'm really wondering what happened. Was it her spying on you? How intriguing.
Author DonCanard Posted January 18, 2012 Author Posted January 18, 2012 I'm puzzled by not being believed through what I have posted. Why would I make this up? Sadly, I haven't - it's all true. I came to this forum seeking help, instead I'm getting disbelief and derision - largely from women, it seems. Interesting. She has a habit of saying she doesn't remember when she doesn't want to lie. She "can't remember" putting spyware on my computer. I know 100% that she was the only person who had the opportunity to do so. Just before Xmas her brother confessed to me that he had helped her to do it. We watched a Ben Affleck movie last night called "Chasing Amy" which dealt with a guy struggling through retro-active jealousy. Some of the words in the climactic scenes were us verbatim. In one scene she screams at him "all that should matter is how you feel about me!" I still love her and that's why I haven't moved on, which would be the easy thing to do. Thanks for the words of support.
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