rockinhenck Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 This is my first time on this forum. I've been struggling with this issue and it's become so difficult that I found this discussion board and I figure it's a good place to air out my issue. I'm an Asian man in his early 30's. To preface, even though I am in touch with my background (Chinese) in knowing the language and the culture, I'm not the stereotypical Asian guy. I'm tall, athletic, pretty confident, at ease with different cultures, into muscle cars, into American politics, what not. The problem is that I am recently married to my wife, who I have been with for several years. She is also Asian. Before I met her, I used to date different types of girls including White girls, Asians, and even a Latina. But the problem is that I no longer feel strongly physically attracted to my wife. She isn't the problem because she is actually really attractive. In fact, whenever I leave her at a bar, she gets hit on immediately. If I was to describe her look, she looks very similar to the Japanese adult star Akira Fubuki in both face and body, so she is definitely hot. But the problem is that in the past year or so, I've become nearly obsessed with hooking up with a White girl again. I am especially attracted to blondes and redheads, even the really pale brunette types. The place where I work at is nearly all white, and maybe that is the reason for this because there are several very cute white girls that work there and sometimes I flirt with them. I know that there is mutual attraction because a couple of them have told me I was very handsome, but I never act on it because I've never been a cheater. A couple months back I had my bachelor's party and I was flirting and intimate with some really hot White strippers, which even triggered this obsession even more. My friends were making fun of me because I was always going for the Blonde ones. Ever since then, my problem's become even worse. I really don't want to cheat because the relationship I am in is very meaningful and my wife has been there for me even through the toughest times. I hope this is just a phase but I have to get it off my chest. Is there anybody else there that feels the same way or is in the same situation?
Feelin Frisky Posted September 25, 2011 Posted September 25, 2011 You're allowed to fantasize all you want and even write about it here. But you made a life-time commitment to your wife and I think, need to start telling yourself some more responsible things than how you'd like a cute Caucasian with a certain color hair. You don't get to choose them at your pace and have things your way. You may never stumble across some perfect blond or red head who wants you for more than a coolie. What you tell yourself is what you belief, so start telling yourself, that someone like yourself thought enough of you to forsake all others and take care of you and be your companion. Tell yourself, your fantasies just got the better of you but that you know what the right thing to do is--treat your wife with the respect and love she deserves. Maybe you can get her to lighten her hair if she's so ethnic and you'd like a change. But round eyes don't buy you automatic happiness and could buy you a lot of misery just as easily. Good luck.
Recommended Posts