pixie92 Posted August 8, 2011 Share Posted August 8, 2011 Hello I'm new here so please do move this post to an appropriate thread if its in the wrong place. Basicly, I have been with my other half for over a year now and we are in a serious relationship. We are living together and everything is perfect apart from one thing. Well when I say thing I mean another person, a female. It may just be jealousy but alarm bells just ring in my head from previous experiences. He has a couple other female friends but only one of them he is only ever keen on seeing. I would not have a problem if he was to see other female friends but its only this one he just seems keen to see. He doesn't see her often though. I have told him how I feel about it and why I feel like it a few times.When I first started dating him, he spoke about her quite a bit so its obvious he is fond of her. I do not want him to not see her as she is a friend (I hope). I told him that I prefer him to go out to a pub with her or something instead of sitting in each others rooms where there is only one place to sit. A bed. But he doesn't seem to want to have this compromise. But now I feel like I can't say anything otherwise I will loose him. I just found out that he has asked her to go a workmates bbq while I'm at work on a 12 hour shift and I don't know what to make of it. Well its made me a little upset. The thing is I would like him to ask me first to see if its ok instead of asking her then saying 'is it ok if I go see her this weekend' when they have already arranged it. It puts me in a awkward position. I don't know what to do really. I try to explain how I feel, but every time I do it feels like I will loose him. Link to post Share on other sites
creighton0123 Posted August 8, 2011 Share Posted August 8, 2011 Explain to him the nature of emotion and feelings. Explain to him that you don't like feeling this way, but you can't change the emotions you experience. Ask him to help you work through them. Good, honest, and calm communication will definitely strengthen your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pixie92 Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 I have spoken to him about it now. I still don't think he understands. He says he has deleted her and wont contact her etc and I told him many times that I don't want him to not contact her, I don't want him to loose friends and that he needs to put more effort into seeing his other female friends, and to not be secretive about her. He reckons he isn't secretive about her but he is. He would like her pictures and delete the likes off his fb wall thinking no one would see them but her profile is public so they still showed up on my news feed. I told him its as if he has a thing for her and it hurts me and it hurts me the fact that he is acting this way about deleting her etc cause it makes me feel bad. I know they will prob text/email each other but I just feel that he is too fond of her. He said that his other female friends do not make effort into making plans with him so they never hang out, but even this girl who I'm talking about does not reply to him about plans to meet, but he still chases her up about it and only her. I will talk to him more about because I want him to understand how I feel. I know he is not cheating because I trust him with my heart but its the fact that he is fond of someone else and there is 2 people in a relationship and not 3. I worry that he would end up doing something with her if that makes any sense. We didn't talk about it too much last night because of all the London riots going and worrying about me getting home safe. Link to post Share on other sites
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