I thanked an ex - did I do the right thing?

[sphynx]

I dated this guy from November last year until April. He works security at the lounge my friends and I hang out regularly, that's how we met. The relationship was not a happy one, he never really loved me and as I found out later, he had quite a few other women on his mind while he was with me. Anyway, towards the end of the "relationship" he barely wanted to hang out with me, I was mostly seeing him at the lounge, him working, me with my friends as usual, so in April we called it quits. I wanted to stay friends with him and emailed him so, because I thought we did have a lot in common as friends and I had always enjoyed our conversations (we could talk for 2 hours non stop on the phone). He never replied.

It was awkward for a while going to the lounge, but we just ignored each other and I moved on, met new guys, and eventually I got used to seeing him there, he became part of the background.

Then I met this girl, hit it off, only to find out she had been seeing this guy for 2 weeks while he was still with me, which explained why he didn't want to hang out with me anymore and why he broke up with me. I got mad and sent him a text saying that I found out about the cheating and called him a jerk (which I regret doing but I was too angry to think clearly).

No reply, of course.

Last month I met a guy, who turned out to be an acquaintance of his, and found out even more stuff that he had lied to me about, such as that he had more kids than he'd told me, and other major things like that. Fun!

So the last thing I would want is to get back with him, even if he begged me to. I'm telling all this to give a background for my question.

Last weekend I went to the lounge, and a guy was bothering me and my friend, nothing major and we could have dealt with it ourselves, when all of a sudden my ex came to me and asked me if we needed help. It was the first time he spoke to me since April. So I just said that the guy was being annoying, and my ex went up to him and told him to leave us alone. I was caught by surprise and I didn't really want to break the silence between us, so I didn't thank him... But then my friends said I should have thanked him, and I felt bad about it... So last night I just told him in passing that I appreciated his help, and I didn't mean to be rude, but that I really don't feel comfortable talking to him and that's why I didn't thank him right away. He said ok no problem, and I left.

Did I do the right thing by breaking my silence to thank him? I don't want him to think I want to get him back or anything, it's not the case, I don't intend to talk to him again... Should I have just let his help slide by? (after all, it's his job to keep the place in order).

[bigmomma1974]

I myself would have thanked him as well. He took care of an issue for you and your friend whether its his job or not, people always appreciate a thank you. This doesn't mean you want him back or that its a sign that you do. There isn't anything wrong with what you did.