what do I do, knowing he lied

[luvsickpuppy]

I started seeing him a few years ago, while I was pregnant with my second child. It was magic, he adored me my swelling belly, and my daughter. I fell in love hard and fast, but I was pregnant with my second child, and despite how I felt about him, I cheated over and over with my ex. He guilt me into thinking if I left him I would be messing up the kids lives. Needlessly to day things became horrible, his jealousy skyrocketed, he looked through everything, and got mad so easily. Even thought the cheating stopped the damage stayed. When he couldn't take it anymore, he left my house one night after a nice dinner, and then told me days later he moved to phoenix. I was hurt, but was still in fight mode, so was stubborn and mean. A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. I hoped hearing the news could start reconciliation, I missed him. We fought more, stopped talking for a month. He got a new gf in that time. After the month we began talking again, making up, confessing how much we missed eachother and wanted it to work. I told him he had to leave her if he wanted it to work. Eventually I told her, we argued about me jumping the gun, but made up quickly. Something just didn't feel right. I started watching her MS, and FB accounts to see if I could find out if it really ended. Our fights got worse, I became insanely jealous, when I saw it I stopped. I told myself I needed to trust him if it was going to work, despite my gut feelings. He finally came back because I early went into premature labor. When he did it was everything I expected, I jad my love back, that is til I saw he and her had been sending love messages all day. I freaked out. He stopped talking to her immediately, and said he was scared I hadn't stopped seeing other men so he didn't stop seeing her, bit he loved me saw that wasn't the case and he wanted to try to make it better. Again the damage had already been done, and we were fighting like crazy, I was still so hurt I didn't trust him, I got mad about everything, it started becoming physical. Not him, both of us, we were physically fighting. I knew it wasn't healthy but behind all of the ugliness the truth was I missed him, I love him, and don't want to lose him. I suggested counseling, but be said we could get through it ourselfs. Eventually the cops got called and he arrested, I didn't even press charges. The terms of release of his bail, were he couldn't have contact with me. That lasted about a week. Still nothing was better, and yhe arguments continued. He recently said he wants to wait til court is settled before we try again because he doesn't want the same results. But I'm insanely jealous and think that means let me explore my options, even though he said that's not how he feels. So last night I saw he wasn't home, and trying to talk myself down I told myself he prolly just went to the movies. So I went to the movies and saw he was there. In relief I said if you stay you'll see he comes out alone. So I parked in the dark and waited. I was far away so when he came out with a girl I couldn't tell if he was walking next to a girl or with her. I couldn't see his car where I was so I followed him, through the drive I saw he was going home, I was so relieved. Then right before his house, he took a detour and went to a trailer park. He didnt stay, he left and called me immediately after. I asked how he was and what he did the night. Be lied. I told him I had horrible dream and wanted to see him. He told me to come over so I started walking, when I saw him leaving his house. He said he had to take care of something but would be right back. I saw the direction he left and knew he went back. He was back shortly. Like promised. He kept answering texts while we were talking. He hadn't told me he loved and needed me for a while, but he did. He told me it was only temporary and then we could be together again work on our problems for a brighter future. Like I said he hadn't so bluntly said it for a while, but he did now. So I dont know if I should tell him I know he lied, knowing its going to make things worse, or wait til we can enter counseling where we can talk openly about it. I mean maybe it was innocent just friends, maybe it wasn't but seeing someone else made him miss it again. I want to believe we can get through our problems, I know I secretly went on dates when things were bad and wanted to see him more after. I don't know what to do with this