What do I do about this girl? Do I stick it to her or let it go?

[SpiralOut]

I have a bit of a grudge against someone I used to live with. We liked each other at first and then eventually disliked each other, leading to us moving out before the one-year lease is over.

 

She still owes me money as she stiffed me on the hydro bill, and she'll never pay me back. Mostly I am unhappy with the way she tried to keep me away from other people in the group I used to hang out with. For example, they would ask her to invite me or tell me about something they were doing and she would "forget" to do so on a regular basis. These were people I hung out with BEFORE she started dating one of my guy friends in the group. I'll get more into that later.

 

Anyway, I bumped into her a few months ago. The first time was on the bus. I was sitting down and I saw her come on. I looked her straight in the eye, carefully keeping my face neutral, and waited to see what she would say or do. She looked in my direction, stopped in her tracks, frowned, then without saying a word, turned around and sat in the nearest seat. I got off at the next stop and we didn't look or speak to each other.

 

A couple of months later I ran into her again. I was shopping and she happened to be working in a store I walked into. She said hi to me in a super cheerful voice. We then engaged in one of those "I don't like you but I'm going to pretend that I do anyway" conversations. I wanted to leave but of course that would have made me look bad.

 

She then out of nowhere made a comment about how she always sees my boyfriend (well, he's my ex now) on the bus, but she never sees ME on the bus. She said it so casually, but it was weird of her to say that because she DID see me. Why would she bring that up? Does she not want me to know that she saw me? Was she embarassed by the way she reacted to me? Or was she hoping to get a reaction out of me?

 

After I left the store, I said "cya later'' like I do with most people and she loudly and enthusiastically said YEAH!! I'll be seeing you around!!! It was quite obvious that she didn't mean it.

 

My question is: what the hell was she doing? Was she trying to trick me? Intimidate me? Be the alpha female?

 

Frankly I am not afraid of her anymore (key word: anymore. she used to scare the crap out of me). I do not trust her since the entire time she dated her boyfriend, she controlled him. He was my friend. After things went badly between her and I, he mysteriously was too busy to talk to me or see me anymore. Only after they broke up have I gotten back in touch with him. I'm meeting up with someone else from the group next week.

 

From what I know so far, she said all sorts of crap about me to them. My friend (now her EX-boyfriend!!) told me that he didn't really take anything she said seriously because "she has a few issues". I guess what is strange to me is that before I moved out, I straight-up asked her if I had done anything to offend her while I was living with her she told me no I did not, that I was a great roommate.

 

I'm wondering: how do I deal with her if I see her again? Do I call her out on her fake-happy-to-see-you act? Do I go along with it and tell her lets hang out, give me your number so we can get manicures together? I am still annoyed with her, so I would love to do something that would get under her skin. There are a few things I could say that I know would drive her insane haha. Would that make me just as a bad a person as her?

 

I've got to admit, I'm a little confused by her. I gave her the perfect opportunity to tell me exactly what I did to make her hate me, but instead she lied and told me I was great. Why would she do that? I would rather she tell me she hates me than give me this obnoxiously fake happy smiley bull****. I can't even respect her because of it.

Edited July 9, 2011 by SpiralOut

[theseeker]

Don't let her actions/words phase you. If you see her, just talk to her enough to be polite - as you would any stranger. This will drive her crazy. She is trying to get a rise out of you. Don't let her have the satisfaction of being able to affect you.

 

She sounds very immature. If you try to get back at her, you will be stooping to her level.

 

And the fact that you are a female and you are good friends with her ex is enough for her to be catty towards you. Not to mention all that stuff about you two breaking your lease and her owing you money.

 

Being the bigger person is always the right way to go. This just sounds like petty high school drama, you should treat it as such.