How to get over being so jealous?

[keatonsmom]

Hello my name is Samantha. I am 25 years old. I have been with my boyfriend for 11 months and i couldn't ask for a better man in my life. The only issue i have is his ex wife. He has a 8 year old son by her and she thinks she has to call or atleast text him everyday and sometimes she calls 3 or 4 times a day. I know deep down in my heart that he will never go back to her but my biggest issue is sometimes she calls just to see who is at our house or see what my boyfriend is doing. My boyfriend claims this is no big deal and that i need to get over it or I am fixing to lose him. How do i cope with this? I need any and all opinions please!!!!

[azsinglegal]

He divorced her for a reason. Let it go.

 

My ex used to have to talk to his ex-wife all the time and at first it bugged the hell outta me. She was always calling to complain to him about money, life her issues, blah blah blah. I would get really upset. Then I realized not only does he have kids with her, but a history and she really didn't have anyone else to talk to.

 

I let it go. I knew he was with me. He reassured me it was just me and him. He never wavered from that. She was very accepting of me when we met. She always hugged me and welcomed me to her house.

 

I got over it eventually. Yeah, it still stung sometimes, but then I remembered that he divorced her and he's with ME. Keep that in mind.

[keatonsmom]

Thank u so much. Our situation is kinda the same. When ever i see her in person like at his sons game she is really nice to me but i have also been told by several people that she is very scandolous and will do things to try to break us up. He has always let her ruin his past relationships. I would think that after us being together for 11 months that she would kinda slack off. She is one of those tha she will go a week or 2 without hardly callin at all and then she will start callin 4 or 5 times a day for no reason. He will gripe about it but he is the one that continues to let it happen. I know i shouldn't let it bother me as bad as it does but my past 3 exs have either cheated on me with their ex or left me for their ex so it is really hard to deal with this. That is why i came to this website to help get other peoples opions on how to deal with us. Once again thank you so much!!!

 

 

 

He divorced her for a reason. Let it go.

 

My ex used to have to talk to his ex-wife all the time and at first it bugged the hell outta me. She was always calling to complain to him about money, life her issues, blah blah blah. I would get really upset. Then I realized not only does he have kids with her, but a history and she really didn't have anyone else to talk to.

 

I let it go. I knew he was with me. He reassured me it was just me and him. He never wavered from that. She was very accepting of me when we met. She always hugged me and welcomed me to her house.

 

I got over it eventually. Yeah, it still stung sometimes, but then I remembered that he divorced her and he's with ME. Keep that in mind.

[Forever Learning]

oh no I could NOT disagree more with the advice you just got!!!!

 

Let me tell you my story in a nutshell.

 

I am 42. From age 26 - age 41 (I am now divorcing) I was with a man in a very similar situation.

 

His ex wife THRIVED on interfering in our daily lives with nonsense like this.

 

DO NOT ALLOW IT OR GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE.

 

LIFE IS TOO SHORT.

 

This is why so many on this website advocate 'No Contact'. It is a means to heal and move on in life. Your boyfriend should be having very very limited contact with his ex wife. They should only converse via text or email, and it should only be about their CHILD. Nothing else.

 

And you should be welcome to see all the correspondence between them at all times.

 

I know the stress you are enduring right now. Listen up girlfriend. It gave me CANCER. Yes, about 8 years into the relationship from hell I was in, I was diagnosed with cancer. I am SURE it had something to do with the day to day stress I lived in, with that crazy situation. NEVER AGAIN!!

 

I also know something else that you don't know yet. Your boyfriend ENJOYS all the attention he is getting from his ex, and the fact it drives you bonkers jealous. Terrible, huh? Yes, it is.

 

Relationships are not meant to be this way. The ex-wife I endured was indeed SCANDALOUS. Her intent was VERY BAD at all times. Masked in various forms depending on her mood. She had zero integrity and no qualms with trying to destroy our relationship, both behind the scenes and outright. It was a roller coaster I will never, ever ride again.

 

If your boyfriend does not understand the concept of "No Contact" with his ex, except in writing and only about his child, you need to leave him. Don't endure this situation, it will take a toll on both your mental health and physical health. Your self esteem will be completely destroyed. You will become a shell of your former self. I know, it happened to me.

 

Join a women's support group, seek counseling, read self help books - reach out to build up your self esteem and expand your horizons in life. try this too: http://www.lisaescott.com/ she is a great author and will open your eyes to what you are dealing with.

 

You are stuck in a game these two are playing (your boyfriend and his ex). Demand it stop or move on. You are worth it, someone else is out there that will treat you like a goddess, and not like a doormat. God bless you and all the best.

[keatonsmom]

I totally understand where u r coming from and i apprecite all the advice i can get. Alot of times the reason she calls is about the child but during the conversation she wants to know where we are and what my bf is doin or who is at our house. I am the first serious girlfriend he has had since he has divorced her so he says he just doesn't think about stuff like that when she asks. That he doesn't make a big deal out of it. He says he is chosing his battles wisely with her because of their son. But let me ask you this. My boyfriend is 34 years old. He drinks beer everyday which he shouldn't but he is a grown man. He is not abusive or mean when he drinks he only gets mouthy when he has had to much to drink. I don't mind him drinking but when he gets drunk it always turns into a fight. He tells everyone that every weekend i am the one starting a fight or that i always get pissed when ever his kids come over so i was told to just ignore him when he gets that way. Well i tried that and it just seemed to make things even worse. What do i do in a situation like this?

 

oh no I could NOT disagree more with the advice you just got!!!!

 

Let me tell you my story in a nutshell.

 

I am 42. From age 26 - age 41 (I am now divorcing) I was with a man in a very similar situation.

 

His ex wife THRIVED on interfering in our daily lives with nonsense like this.

 

DO NOT ALLOW IT OR GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE.

 

LIFE IS TOO SHORT.

 

This is why so many on this website advocate 'No Contact'. It is a means to heal and move on in life. Your boyfriend should be having very very limited contact with his ex wife. They should only converse via text or email, and it should only be about their CHILD. Nothing else.

 

And you should be welcome to see all the correspondence between them at all times.

 

I know the stress you are enduring right now. Listen up girlfriend. It gave me CANCER. Yes, about 8 years into the relationship from hell I was in, I was diagnosed with cancer. I am SURE it had something to do with the day to day stress I lived in, with that crazy situation. NEVER AGAIN!!

 

I also know something else that you don't know yet. Your boyfriend ENJOYS all the attention he is getting from his ex, and the fact it drives you bonkers jealous. Terrible, huh? Yes, it is.

 

Relationships are not meant to be this way. The ex-wife I endured was indeed SCANDALOUS. Her intent was VERY BAD at all times. Masked in various forms depending on her mood. She had zero integrity and no qualms with trying to destroy our relationship, both behind the scenes and outright. It was a roller coaster I will never, ever ride again.

 

If your boyfriend does not understand the concept of "No Contact" with his ex, except in writing and only about his child, you need to leave him. Don't endure this situation, it will take a toll on both your mental health and physical health. Your self esteem will be completely destroyed. You will become a shell of your former self. I know, it happened to me.

 

Join a women's support group, seek counseling, read self help books - reach out to build up your self esteem and expand your horizons in life. try this too: http://www.lisaescott.com/ she is a great author and will open your eyes to what you are dealing with.

 

You are stuck in a game these two are playing (your boyfriend and his ex). Demand it stop or move on. You are worth it, someone else is out there that will treat you like a goddess, and not like a doormat. God bless you and all the best.

[Ellamay]

He has a 8 year old son by her and she thinks she has to call or atleast text him everyday and sometimes she calls 3 or 4 times a day. I know deep down in my heart that he will never go back to her but my biggest issue is sometimes she calls just to see who is at our house or see what my boyfriend is doing. My boyfriend claims this is no big deal and that i need to get over it or I am fixing to lose him. How do i cope with this? I need any and all opinions please!!!!

 

 

Are you kidding me!!??? I cant believe youre still sticking around. Hes blatantly disrespecting you! and if the kid is his only ties to his ex then why is he still communicating with her 4 times a day?? she calls sometimes just to see whos there or what hes doing??? Thats insane. Theyre both blatantly putting each others feelings before your own. A child with another woman is no excuse to let the other woman ruin your relationship. It should be yoou giving him ultimatums, does your ex call you 4 times a day to "see how youre doing" if not I suggest you ask for the respect you deserve!!

[azsinglegal]

I totally understand where u r coming from and i apprecite all the advice i can get. Alot of times the reason she calls is about the child but during the conversation she wants to know where we are and what my bf is doin or who is at our house. I am the first serious girlfriend he has had since he has divorced her so he says he just doesn't think about stuff like that when she asks. That he doesn't make a big deal out of it. He says he is chosing his battles wisely with her because of their son. But let me ask you this. My boyfriend is 34 years old. He drinks beer everyday which he shouldn't but he is a grown man. He is not abusive or mean when he drinks he only gets mouthy when he has had to much to drink. I don't mind him drinking but when he gets drunk it always turns into a fight. He tells everyone that every weekend i am the one starting a fight or that i always get pissed when ever his kids come over so i was told to just ignore him when he gets that way. Well i tried that and it just seemed to make things even worse. What do i do in a situation like this?

 

THIS is a different situation altogether. My ex had a huge anger problem when he drank. He would sit and drink straight rum and I would think it was water until he blew up and started a fight. The last 3 months we were together he was extremely confrontational. He punched cabinets, threw stuff, started HUGE fights. When he finally left I was relieved. It was the first night's good sleep I had in months.

 

Get rid of him. THIS is a problem. Drinking and becoming enraged means he's not happy and he's taking it out on you. I dealt with this first hand and will NEVER tolerate this again.

 

My ex was Cuban and blamed it on that, being passionate, emotional, sensitive and hot tempered. Sorry pal, no dice. I'm 38 yrs old and so was he, if you don't have your anger under control by now, you're not going to.

 

It was just a matter of time before that violence was directed and me and I end up hurt.

[playchoap]

the whole Splice movie online Unknown Movie Now Download Blogspot Black Swan download The Next Three Days movie bootleg Download Sanctum Movie Rapidshare downloadable films Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Detroit Bad Girls: Booty Edition movie full hd I Want To Watch The True Grit Movie Download The Movie Insidious online length of The Green Hornet movie watch the whole The Mechanic film Faster Stronger - Season One full movies How To Download Sucker Punch The Full Film Website To Watch The Next Three Days The Film

[bigmomma1974]

well everyone has there opinon of this situation and hopefully all this advice will help ya. I myself am and ex and wew still have contact with one another, when we split we took time away to deal with the pain. We have 3 kikds. We talk about the kids, the weather, each others family and I speak with his wife and he with my husband. We all get along great, the only issue was my ex and i couldnt live together and fell out of love. What ever you decide remember he is with you and that should tell you something.