emg1988 Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 My boyfriend and I have been dating for for 4 months now. We met on an online dating site, and after 5 dates we both knew we only wanted to date each other; so we decided to make it official. I knew from the beginning that our relationship was going to be different then most, he has a demanding job that consumes most of his time. And you know, that actually didn't bother me. I'm by no means a needy girl, I am completely fine doing my own thing once in a while. Whether it's alone, with friends or family. So let me just get to why I'm here. Basically he and I only hang out on the weekend, and not the whole weekend it's either just Friday or Saturday. Very rarely is it both. I think that has happened only once. We only hang out at night, the only places we've ever really been to are bars and movie theatres. I have also never seen him in the day time. I have never been inside his house (because he never invites me) but I do know where he lives. He said he wouldn't introduce me to his friends because that's just "something they don't do". I have never met his family, yet he is okay with meeting mine. When I text him, it'll sometimes take him days to text me back. When I call he doesn't answer or call back. Like for example, this past week I have tried calling him everyday once a day and does he answer? No. Does he call back? No. All I get is a text that reads, "I'll hit you up later" There have been times that I don't see him for up to 3 weeks and all I get is about 3 hours of his time. Maybe you're wondering why I'm still around then, because I know any other girl would have not put up with any of this. I'm still around because when we are together he is sweet, charming, funny, caring, and I just genuinely have a good time with him. All the anticipation of seeing him, all the missed phone calls and late text messages go out the window because at that moment nothing else matters than just being with him. I'm still around because I see so much potential in him. But what I want to know is if this is normal? Is it normal for a guy to not call his girlfriend back when he clearly sees that she wants to get a hold of him? Is normal to not see your significant other for a long period time even though that person only lives about 10 minutes from you? Or am I being played like most of my friends seem to think so? I say my friends because they have expressed over and over to me that this isn't right, that this isn't what a relationship should be like. But I don't think that at all, when he says he's busy with work or has made plans with friends, I believe him because I trust him. Yes, I wish we saw eachother more and yes I wish he would answer my calls. Just to know that he is in fact still there, but there are times I don't even feel like his girlfriend, or more so like I'm his girlfriend but on his terms. It's a strange situation I know, but it's gotten to a point where I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave him because I really, really like him but at the same time I don't want to be stringed along like most people think I have been. What do you guys think I should do? Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Yes, you're being played/mistreated. All those red flags waving like that, and you can't recognize them? He's either married or not "interested enough". Any guy that's truly into you will make the time to see you- or at least call you back. If you're sometimes not seeing him for 3 weeks and he lives 10 minutes away- you HAVE to know something is really wrong. Regardless- a bigger question you have to ask yourself is why on earth would you accept this kind of treatment. So what, you have 3 amazing hours together once and a while... He also doesn't call you back, answer your texts, or feel the need to invite you to his place. How is there any potential for a great relationship with this guy? My guess is he's married. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Sorry to break it to you, but your fears are right. You are in a typical "other woman" situation. Hes not busy with work, hes busy with his real girlfriend, or his wife. Youre basically his booty call. So cut him loose now, it will never get any better long as youre the mistress. Link to post Share on other sites
NicoleM Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 That is what the guy I am seeing is doing. We started out cool then he turned into a sleezeball and I called him on it and he got defensive. My ex also did that concidentally I met all of them online. I am thinking alot of the guys online ( not all) are just looking for a booty call and if you want a decent guy I would stay away from the dating sites just IMHO though. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 When I text him, it'll sometimes take him days to text me back. When I call he doesn't answer or call back. Problem here....... By this statement I don't think HE feels your official. It's just rude. Link to post Share on other sites
azsinglegal Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 That is what the guy I am seeing is doing. We started out cool then he turned into a sleezeball and I called him on it and he got defensive. My ex also did that concidentally I met all of them online. I am thinking alot of the guys online ( not all) are just looking for a booty call and if you want a decent guy I would stay away from the dating sites just IMHO though. Agreed. I've done some online dating and SEVERAL of the men I met were married or in a relationship and just looking for someone "on the side". You can always tell by the way they avoid you at certain times, at night when they're at home and can't talk, on the weekends, not letting you in their house is a HUGE sign. Seriously?!? I only see the guy I'm dating now on the weekends, BUT, he has a very demanding job and gets up at 4am for work so if I stayed he wouldn't get any sleep. When I first read your post I thought you were overreacting, but now, yeah...ditch him. I live my life by this motto: Why make someone a priority in your life when they only have you as an option? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NicoleM Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Totally! My friend even said dating sites are booty calls. Crazy right? lol Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Four months and he's never invited you to his place? Either he has a girlfriend, living with him or he's married. Something feels very off. You've never met one friend of his either? I can understand not meeting his family, but friends?? Nah, something is up. He isn't treating you like he cares a whole about you nor does he seem like things are serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Woman In Blue Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Well, you've postd this exact same post in two different message boards here, but haven't even come back to address any of the replies or questions people have asked you. Not going to waste my time here. Link to post Share on other sites
Kcelleste Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Girl, I went through the very same thing last year and guess what? His WIFE called me. Move on...you deserve much better then half a man. Trust me you're better off single. Link to post Share on other sites
AmericanHoney Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 I get the I am busy excuse alot lately. He calls and texts me alot and suddenly it stops and then I hear I am so busy blah,blah,blah. Trust me when I say this no one can be that busy that they cannot pick up a phone. Unless your fingers are broken or you are dying I am sure you can pick up the phone. Simple as that.... Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 i have a male room mate. he works a full time job and a part time job. he still manages to see his GF at least 4-5 nights every week. she lives 45 minutes away. he MAKES time for her. she is his priority. that is what it looks like when a man is interested. your guy sounds married. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AmericanHoney Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Thank you! Exactly my point. If you truely,truely care for someone you will go through hoops to try and get to them or talk to them. I am too freaking busy? Please..... Playa....... I love watching soap operas and generally don't like talking during them but always manage to text someone during breaks. Not that hard.... Link to post Share on other sites
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