Am I overreacting?

[LostInLA]

Hi all,

 

It's been a while since I've posted last. Anyways, I'll try to get to the point.

 

Basically, my boyfriend drove 5 hours to go house and pet sit for his ex's sister for a week while his ex, her sister and a few other family members went out of town for a trip. He was going to do this at no charge but was broke so they are paying him.

 

Was it wrong of him to go do this? Inappropriate? Am I feeling bothered by this for no reason?

 

I'm trying to be an adult here but at the same time I want to make sure I am respected as well.

 

Details about us: Been dating for 9 months, exclusive for 5. He wasn't quite over his break up when we first started dating but maintained contact and a friendship with his ex which has bothered me. He is friends with all of his ex's and even is roommates with a previous ex and her boyfriend, and no that doesn't bother me, I've met her and her bf. We are both 35.

 

Thanks for your opinions.

Edited January 8, 2011 by LostInLA

[brokenglass]

You're 35 and deliberately choosing to get upset over something that is in my opinion, quite trivial.

 

Unless there are things you are leaving out, I personally don't see anything inappropriate or wrong about what he did. Doing a favor for a friend? And being compensated? What is wrong with you?

 

Something tells me you either have trust issues or theres something else here that is bothering you. I also get a sense that despite the fact you say it doesn't bother you he's friends with ex's or wasn't over his previous ex when you two went exclusive, you completely are bothered by it.

 

Put yourself in his shoes and reverse the roles. You are going to house sit and pet sit for one of your ex's brothers. No one will be there but you and the pets and they are going to compensate you for your time. Your boyfriend gets upset and flips out. How would you react? Think about that for a moment.

[Ms. Joolie]

Well, what brokenglass said.

 

But at the same time, I can sure see why you are reacting. Your BF and his ex are maintaining pretty good contact if she feels it's okay to call him to drive five hours to watch her pets.

 

Maybe you can look at him as being a generous guy and start asking for more favors.

[smilesalot1]

Hi all,

 

It's been a while since I've posted last. Anyways, I'll try to get to the point.

 

Basically, my boyfriend drove 5 hours to go house and pet sit for his ex's sister for a week while his ex, her sister and a few other family members went out of town for a trip. He was going to do this at no charge but was broke so they are paying him.

 

Was it wrong of him to go do this? Inappropriate? Am I feeling bothered by this for no reason?

 

I'm trying to be an adult here but at the same time I want to make sure I am respected as well.

 

Details about us: Been dating for 9 months, exclusive for 5. He wasn't quite over his break up when we first started dating but maintained contact and a friendship with his ex which has bothered me. He is friends with all of his ex's and even is roommates with a previous ex and her boyfriend, and no that doesn't bother me, I've met her and her bf. We are both 35.

 

Thanks for your opinions.

 

I believe X's are X's for a reason. For some reason people just don't get this. When you break up it is over and a good family member should respect the end of a relationship. How many are going to show up for next year's Thanksgiving feast. The only reason contact should exist is if children are involved and then it must be very limited. I can give the best advice, but can't seem to take it because my boyfriend's X wife is a nightmare, however you have to consider if this job is a benifet to his X...what are you getting? Lost time. He should put your needs first. Good Luck.