Worth The Risk??

[sweet_decline86]

Ok so ill try to keep this as short as possible but here's my story. The last 8 months have been the most torturous of my life because of this huge perdicament I'm in, as every possible decision seems to be the wrong one.

Im 23 years old. Back in the fall I met a cute girl at my school, but as soon as I found out that not only she was six years older than me but also a single mom, I imediately ruled out any possible relationship with her other then just being friends. However, for the first few weeks of knowing her, she gave me every possible sign that she likes me, like puting her single motherhood on hold to party and hang out with me. All of my friends told me that she wants me, so I considered the possibility. The icing on the cake happened when she practicly asked me to let her come with me and my friends to Detroit to party for a weekend. (Detroit is about a 3 hour drive from my Canadian home). Remember, just 3 weeks prior to this, she was a total stranger. Everyone told me to make a move on her that weekend, as she seemed to give me more obvious signs that I had the green light while in Detroit, but I shyed away, WORST DECISION EVER!!!!!!!!!

 

When I arrived home after that weekend, I completely broke down, because at that moment not only did my feelings for her become strong, but I realised that I misssed out on the obvious oportunity to seal the deal with her. Ever since that weekend, she hasn't been the same person towards me. After partying with her every second day the first few weeks I knew her, we partied together just once in the past 8 months. I feel like I blew the best oportunity!! Eight months later, I still desperately want a relationship with her. My problem is, I'm worried that if she rejects me, she might want to distance herself away from me, and if I lose her as a friend, Ill be twice as devestated, as every hallway I walk down at school will remind me of the fun we had together these past 2 semesters. I know this sounds pathetic, but its real.

 

There are still some things that make me think she still likes me, the fact that a couple months ago the two of us watched a movie at her place, and I sat right up close to her, an inch away from touching her, but she didn't complain or feel unconfortable. In fact after she left to go to the restroom, she sat right back down in the same spot, right up close to me, when she didn't have to. When the movie ended, she still didn't move and we talked right up close to each other. But once again, I shyed away from making a move because im afraid of risking the friendship and furthering my misery. However, the obvious thing that gives me doubt is the fact that shes so much older then me, plus the fact that shes a mother to a three year old. She also said to me a few times, "so many guys think I like them, when I'm really just a very friendly person."

Anyway, I went on long enough, I think you all get the jist of it. I thank you all very much for taking the time to help me out. I desperately want to put this problem to bed once and for all, without risk of furthering my depression.

 

Cheers

[mark982]

old saying./"no guts,no glory". give it a shot.

[TaraMaiden]

I'm 5 years older than my partner. It doesn't worry him any.

 

What's your problem, exactly?

You think older women are....what?

 

What's wrong with getting it on with an older woman?

 

I'd be more concerned that if you do manage to launch into a relationship with her, you're taking on a child, as well. And you have to make space and allowances for that.

(although I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with this statement...)

 

she gave me every possible sign that she likes me, like puting her single motherhood on hold to party and hang out with me.

 

What the hell does "Putting her single motherhood on hold" mean?

[blossom0123]

Hey, if you love her and really want to be with her, definitely give it a go!! At the moment, it's not really a friendship anyway, because you are in love in her.

 

BUT be prepared to take on a child, like TM also said - I know lots of single mothers who met guys they really liked and who spent time with them for a while, and later dumped them because they didn't want to deal with the child/children. Fair enough not to want to take on children that are not your own, but better to make up your mind about that bit beforehand. Have someone you know really quiz you on that one because right now you're probably not going to think it through properly on your own since you're quite in love with her.

 

5 years difference really isn't that much and it's going to feel less and less as you grow older, so I wouldn't worry about it if other things are in place.