i don't know what happened

[kissez]

So this guy I have been 'dating' - we knew each from from some time ago and re-connected and were since dating. We didn't make it official because we wanted to take things slow, but he told me he didn't want me to go around saying I was single, and messing around with other guys b/c he wanted a relationship with me once we got to know each other better, and I agreed! I am very much devoted to one man.

 

We went on dates, he bought me dinner, movies, we go see each other b/c we live about an hour from each other. We slept together also - we have been dating just a few months. Recently, I started working , I am a college student I was in summer classes before, but now I am finished with those and am working very long hours at a job! When I would come back to my phone, I would hope for missed calls or texts (even though texting isn't his thing) from him, but there was nothing! The last time I saw him was 2 weeks ago, right before I started my job. So I finally started to initiate contact and told him I missed him very much, and I would like to see him soon. He told me he was "very busy". I know that is a huge red flag! The first time I said ok fine. Then a couple days later I got upset with him, b/c I realized it was an excuse now. I could sense something wasn't right, so I asked him. He was rude to me and said "sorry sweetie I have been an a-hole. I don't want a girlfriend so just go do your own thing haha" it was so hurtful to me!! Then last night, I asked him if everything was ok...he said yes. He called me and said he takes back everything he told me about how he didn't want me to date other guys, and how he wants a girlfriend b/c he didn't mean any of it! He said he's not an a-hole he very sorry, and he has been sleeping with other girls, and he is moving soon anyways so we shouldn't carry this on. I hung up and told him to lose my #. This sounds ridiculous I know he is such a jerk but I don't understand!!! Why did he do this to me all of a sudden???? I don't understand it at all! Please help me I was crying all last night over it, (I get hurt easily I really liked him).

[kissez]

p.s. he is 23 will be 24 soon, I just turned 22. He hasn't had a girlfriend in 5 years, but he did say he wanted one, when I first met him! He said he knew a lot of girls, but I was the only one he took out on dates and things. He also told me he was supposed to move in a few months when I met him - but he might change his mind and stay with me b/c he thought he would fall in love.

 

I know he didn't really mean it, but that's what he said. We were doing great, so it is just a complete turn around all of a sudden. He took back everything he said I told him to lose my number b/c what else am I supposed to do?! But I am still confused. I guess he is just an a-hole though, a few years ago I talked to a guy that did something very similar. I figured he would be sleeping with other girls though b/c he is very sexual! And I also know the whole "I'm busy" spiel is an excuse u say to people you aren't interested in. Did he just lose interest over night I guess??

[OpenBook]

We didn't make it official because we wanted to take things slow, but he told me he didn't want me to go around saying I was single, and messing around with other guys b/c he wanted a relationship with me once we got to know each other better, and I agreed!

 

There's your first mistake. He wanted to have it both ways - and you let him! Until you are exclusive, you should NEVER agree not to see other people! You don't have to defiantly tell him you'll see whomever you want (even though it's the truth). When he tries to pin you down with the "I don't want you seeing anyone else" routine, just say breezily, "Let's just see what happens, OK?" and then change the subject.

 

But yeah, this guy is a writeoff. Good call, telling him to lose your number. Next! (and don't be so "agreeable" with the next guy! You have to stand up for yourself, girl!)