BookGurl Posted July 29, 2002 Share Posted July 29, 2002 There's no real story to go along with this question... When the 'sparks'/ excitement leave a relationship, how does love shift/change? How do you know its there without the 'sparks' so to speak? Just Curious. J. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted July 29, 2002 Share Posted July 29, 2002 When the sparks leave a relationship, you have to change along with it. It's just as easy to fall out of love than it is to fall in love. And it's at that point where you decide how important and healthy the relationship is. And if it's a good relationship, but no sparks, then you and your partner work to spice things up. Explore hobbies together, work on a project together, change your routine...take yourself out of your element so that you can see another side of your mate. It's all about spicing things up. People are constantly changing, therefore relationships are constantly changing, and you can never ignore your relationship...put just as much effort in it today as you did when it first started. Change your focus and your relationship will change for the better. Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted July 29, 2002 Share Posted July 29, 2002 The butterfly's eventually fade but the love stays the same. You get to know each other. You find yourself having some of your mates mentality. It actually a very nice feeling to fully know the person your with and loving them fully everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BookGurl Posted July 30, 2002 Author Share Posted July 30, 2002 I suppose this is in regards to another post I made earlier as well. Things got rocky...and I wonder if I didn't try hard enough. The man I was with was my best friend, knew me better than anyone...as I did him. I just began to feel empty. I dunno if that makes any sense. Ah well. J. Link to post Share on other sites
carel Posted July 30, 2002 Share Posted July 30, 2002 what i thought before, is that loosing the sparks means loosing the love. now i am learning here. you really have to make an extra effort to renew the bond and keep the fire flaming. Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 Don't exhaust yourself trying to keep a r/s alive. Both of you were to be respected by each other and treated equally. I believe I have an understanding of what you said. My r/s is very hard to keep alive. I look at my partner as the lazy one, with less care and no will to make an effort. He just gives me enough to hang on. Courtesy, respect, common sense, attention are just some of the things I expect people want out of their parter. Its really hard to say without going into allot of detail. Do on to others as you would want done to you, I suppose would be the closest thing to a short answer. I don't believe in stressing yourself out to keep your partner entertained. However if your suggesting that you simply became unattached without his know abouts than It may be that you are growing out of him. Its very possible, I have done it myself. I'll try to go back and reread your post to get a better understanding of what happened. Then maybe I could be of some help. Link to post Share on other sites
lifesucks Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 Gee i dont know why dont you ask a couple thats been married for 20 or 30 or even 40 years what their secret is maybe the love was never really there for you. we have grown in this country to the point that if i am not happy someone has to make me happy WRONG try talking to your bf if that doesnt work well maybe you grew and he didnt and its time to reevaluate things and see if this is how you want your life to be miserable and unhappy Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 You have to remember that feelings do not remain constant. They can ebb and flow. I remember reading once about a long marriage that was very happy. The woman said that there were times they didn't even like each other and times that one or the other even hated the other for a while, but they remembered why they fell in love and they didn't quit when the feelings became troubled. They stuck it out, worked at it, and found that the marriage became even stronger after times like that. Sometimes it isn't even anything to do with the relationship; things about life affect your feelings and you think it's that you don't love the person any more but it's really other things bothering you. Link to post Share on other sites
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