I'm in love with my drama teacher

[.Michelle]

Nobody understands me. I'm 17 in twelth grade. have been seeing my drama teacher for the past year. we never did anything except hug,kiss and hold hands at a lake during the summer. he says he'll wait until I'm an adult and out of school before we go further, but my parents hate him and try to stop me from loving him.

 

He told me he is bisexual. he has been celibate for 10 years, practices yoga and is a strict vegetarian. he tells me we are spritually meant for each other and that sex is the lowest form of love. he calls it crotch love but i feel a strong desire on his part and mine.

 

this week he has been ignoring me in his class and treating me like a student. I came to his office after school to ask him what is going on. he said my mom called the principal and we are not allowed to have any outside contact. I was devestated and couldn't stop crying. he told me really coldly that we had nothing but a student-teacher relationship. this hurt me so much that I threw everything off his desk on the floor and ran out. Later I tried calling him and he had the machine on. I waited couldn't stand the pain so I marched over to his house and found him working in his garden. he was all soft and changed. we had a long talk and he said he had to be this way until graduation. When we said goodbye he kissed me on the forehead and said 'parting is such sweet sorrow, may we meet again tomorrow' I melted with joy.

 

THe problem is how can I go to school and pretend? I don't know if I can handle this secret. sometimes I see him being friendly with other students and I get so jealous. Help!

[Braemars]

K, well, there are alot of issues to address here. First of all, how old is this man? I'm assuming he's over 18 and these advances he's making on you or on other students is simply wrong. Secondly, your parents are aware of his relationship with you and they haven't spoken to the proper school athorities? There is something extremely wrong there.

 

However, I know how it feels to be 17-been there, done that-girls of this age our very vulnerable when it comes to feeling wanted and loved by guys. Men know this and will use that to their advantage. It seems to me that this man is playing with you and you are blind to it. I assure you that what you're feeling is not love, it's a crush. It's perfectly healthy to have a crush, but not in this particular case. I advise you to expand your horizons. There are nice (legal aged) young men out there who will not treat you like crap one moment and nicely the next. Above all, you may need someone outside of the situation to intervene. You are still a child in the eyes of the law and this should not be going on at all. Good luck, and be smart.

[girlpower]

K, well, there are alot of issues to address here. First of all, how old is this man? I'm assuming he's over 18 and these advances he's making on you or on other students is simply wrong. Secondly, your parents are aware of his relationship with you and they haven't spoken to the proper school athorities? There is something extremely wrong there. However, I know how it feels to be 17-been there, done that-girls of this age our very vulnerable when it comes to feeling wanted and loved by guys. Men know this and will use that to their advantage. It seems to me that this man is playing with you and you are blind to it. I assure you that what you're feeling is not love, it's a crush. It's perfectly healthy to have a crush, but not in this particular case. I advise you to expand your horizons. There are nice (legal aged) young men out there who will not treat you like crap one moment and nicely the next. Above all, you may need someone outside of the situation to intervene. You are still a child in the eyes of the law and this should not be going on at all. Good luck, and be smart.

[Jenna]

I don't even know where to start..... because I know that you are hurting- and I am sympathetic to that. But- you have to know that this kind of relationship- between a teacher and a student is very inappropriate- not to mention illegal (because of your age).

 

This man should not have ever let this get started- he obviously does not respect the boundaries of his position. Teachers are in an authoritative position- and should never use their authority to take advantage of their young students. I know that you don't feel like you are being taken advantage of- you feel love- and care for this person- and that is the whole reason for teachers to be in check with their boundaries.

 

Seventeen year old girls are not in complete control of their emotions- or their actions. You are very vulnerable at that age- and most are in search of acceptance and have a need for attention and affection. I know- I was seventeen once too- and if one of my male teachers would have made advances toward me- I probably wouldn't have stopped it.

 

Your parents have expressed their feelings- and you should respect them. It is probably hurting them deeply- to see you in this predicament- and whether or not you know it- it is hurting you deeply too- in ways that you won't even realize for years to come. This will ultimately cause you to be distrustful of people in positions of authority- other teachers, employers, doctors, police, - the very people that you need to be able to count on throughout your life.

 

Since no one else will step up and act as the adult here- then it only leaves you to make a mature decision and stop seeing this man. Furthermore- you should report him to the principle and school board- because he has proven that he has a severe lack of good and moral judgement- and should not be in the position to hurt anyone else. You may find that he has done this same thing to other girls- and will continue the behavior long after you are gone- unless someone has courage enough to stop him.

 

Please talk to your parents-your pastor-your school counselor- or another adult that can help you through this.

 

Thank you for letting us help you- write again if you need to. Jenna

K, well, there are alot of issues to address here. First of all, how old is this man? I'm assuming he's over 18 and these advances he's making on you or on other students is simply wrong. Secondly, your parents are aware of his relationship with you and they haven't spoken to the proper school athorities? There is something extremely wrong there. However, I know how it feels to be 17-been there, done that-girls of this age our very vulnerable when it comes to feeling wanted and loved by guys. Men know this and will use that to their advantage. It seems to me that this man is playing with you and you are blind to it. I assure you that what you're feeling is not love, it's a crush. It's perfectly healthy to have a crush, but not in this particular case. I advise you to expand your horizons. There are nice (legal aged) young men out there who will not treat you like crap one moment and nicely the next. Above all, you may need someone outside of the situation to intervene. You are still a child in the eyes of the law and this should not be going on at all. Good luck, and be smart.

[Tony T]

Continuing to see you against your parents wishes can get him fired as a teach and possibly put in jail. Don't press him on this and just be careful.

 

You are way too young to make sensible decisions concerning getting involved with a much older man who is a teacher and a bisexual.

 

Your parents are going to be watching you closely and the principal is going to be watching both of you closely. If you care about the man at all, leave him alone for now.

 

When you are 18 and graduated from school, he will be totally free to engage in crotch love or any other concoction you may desire. But for now, you are first class jail bait for him...and a ticket to unemployment.