Is something going on with his ex?

[Tina]

Okay, so my boyfiend's ex girlfriend apparently came over to his place a few days ago to give him the quilts and when he asked her the price she said she didn't know yet, but would let him know later.

 

She observed that his bedroom curtains didn't match the color of his bed spread, so she then offered to help him find curtains for the room!! He told her he wasn't interested in spending extra money on curtains, but she insisted on picking some out for him because she wanted his daughter to be "impressed" when she came. My boyfriend told me he didn't understand why she was taking such an interest in this and that he didn't like it because it looked like she was trying to manipulate him to get him back.

 

He told me that when she came to his place (they supposedly hadn't seen each other for over six months) he wanted to give her a hug, but she said 'no, no' then proceeded to ask him if he had decided yet if he wanted to live with her. (The reason that they had broken up was because she had given him an ultimatum: either he decide that they live together and eventually get married, or the relationship was finished, and since he didn't want to, she ended it)

 

He said no and went on to tell her that the main reason was that she was too cold for him.

 

Anyhow, what I'm telling you is just what he told me over the phone and I have no way of knowing what else could have been said between them. When I asked him why he didn't tell her I was coming he said that it was because he had been afraid she wouldn't give him the quilts, but that he would later tell her I was there after I get there, saying that his children had changed their minds and I had decided to come instead.

 

After this conversation I started feeling really angry towards this woman. Perhaps I should have been feeling angry at him, but I fantisized in my mind that I wanted to punch this woman out and put her in her place!

 

Could something be going on between them, or is this just my jealously and imagination working too hard??

[Laurynn]

Hi,

 

Yes, it definitely does sound like she's using even the most pathetic excuse in the book to "see him" again....and to hopefully get back with him. Sounds to me like she figured that after a few months apart, he'd realize that he missed her and wanted her back in his life, wanted to live with her, someday marry. This I don't blame her for.

 

I totally and entirely blame him. And you should too.

 

Do not be angry with this woman, she has no idea you're even in the picture. As far as she's concerned, he's single and ripe for the taking, again.

 

The fact that he's lying to her...the fact that he's *NOW* giving you the excuse that he won't tell her about you is because then he's afraid she won't give him the quilts (who gives flying fig about quilts?)...that he plans to tell her AFTER you get there, that the kids aren't coming and that you came instead.

 

Tina.....this is a guy you want to run far away from. Not only is he a devious bugger, he's not a very bright one. Nothing he's saying or doing is eliciting any respect. If he was serious about you, he would have no problem in the world telling her that he's met someone else (afterall, it's been *6 months since they broke up*) and that she's coming there to spend the holidays with him.

 

He's clearly showing you what a liar and coward he is. So what else does he/will he lie about? Do you want to invest more of your heart into this guy and then end up heartbroken? He's playing games. He's burning both ends of the candle. He's totally disrespecting her, and you....and he makes himself look like a horse's patoot.

 

I'm willing to be you $100 that if you were to go there for the holidays, he'd find some other reason to NOT tell her about you.......he'd probably tell you that she's sensitive and he doesn't want to upset her over the holidays.....or, he knows she'd come over to want to meet you and he'd want to prevent an awkward scene.....or, or, or......

 

What kind of man lies to his ex girlfriend and tells her that his kids are coming to spend Xmas with him, all so she'll lend (thought she was SELLING them to him?) him some stinkin' quilts, but in truth, his kids aren't coming and he really needs them for his new gal? Every way you slice it, Tina, the guy is a messed up dog.

 

Put yourself in his ex's shoes. She has no idea about you. She has no idea she's being played and lied to. She's not trying to mess with your guy or ruin things for you....she doesn't even KNOW ABOUT YOU.

 

If I were you, I'd give this guy a piece of your mind....write him a letter so that you get an opportunity to get it all out (it's often hard to confront someone on the phone).....then see if you can get a refund on your plane ticket......and spend the holidays with anyone other than him. Please, for your sake. This situation has so many BIG RED FLAGS waving in the wind. He's a player who obviously loves having women chasing him, interested in him, wanting to see him.

 

Be glad you found this all out now..rather than after you'd spent a very special time (the holidays) together.....only to find out you'd been played even more.

 

I can't remember now..how did you meet this guy again? Was it on the Internet? Chat room? Personals?

 

Laurynn

[Ed]

I don't think you have anything to worry about. If he cared anything about his ex, he would tell her about you, so she would keep her quilts, so she wouldn't be so cold. Whew!

 

Is he within driving distance of a Wal-Mart? The latest circular I got from them had an ad for some good velour blankets for $14.99, in designer colors. Their circulars are regional and, since I don't know where you live, they may not have these same blankets, but it is getting cold all over the northern hemisphere and if they don't have those blankets, I bet they will have something similar to it.

 

They also sell curtains at Wal-Mart, but K-Mart has Martha Stewart behind them. He would have better luck finding stuff that matches at K-Mart, if he likes Martha Stewart's taste in home fashions.

 

Since he's in a bind for money, do you think everybody could just bring their own blankets when they come to visit? That way, nobody would be jealous and everybody would be warm. He is going to be real easy to buy for this Christmas.