Why is making a decision so hard!

[lost4words]

Hi everyone! My dilema is that it's been one month since my gf and I broke up but she says it's not totally over. She's very confused and needs more time to think. I've been waiting patiently but I can't wait anymore. My insight as to why she is confused is that she likes or has feelings for someone else but cannot decide if she wants to be with me or

 

with the other person(I asked her if it was true but she wouldn't fess up!). Why is it so hard for her to choose since I've been with her for over three years and whatever time she has been talking to this other person. I love her tremendously but if she really loves me then there shouldn't be any doubt that she would be with me! I just don't know anymore!!! Why doesn't she just come out and tell me what she wants! If it is another person then she might as well tell me because I'm already at the bottom of the pit. At least I could accept it, start the healing process and move on! I think one month is more that enough time to think things over and if she still can't give me a straight answer

 

then I will have to end it for good. I can't live like this not knowing when she would come around and tell me that she wants to get back together or tell me that she doesn't. I love her but I guess you all know the saying, " Let the one you love go..........etc!" Why is making a decision so hard!!! This situation is tearing me apart!!!!! My heart tells me to hold on but my conscience tells me to let her go

 

if I want to get better!!! Please I need some advice!!!!

[Tony T]

So when did you start putting your life in the hands of others? That's crazy. Giving someone time to decide if they want you or not is nuts!!! If somebody loves you and wants you in their lives, they don't need to take a lot of time to make that decision.

 

Don't leave your life up to your ex girlfriend. Take things in your own hands as you should. Let her know you are going to be on your way and, if she decides she'd like to be with you at some point in the future and you're not with anyone else, you'll take that into consideration.

 

Right now, she is playing you for a fool. You are her puppet and she will have no respect for that. Be nice about it but let her know that you have no intentions of using your valuable time on this planet to wait around for her or anyone to decide if they want you or not.

 

You only have one life to live and, as you know from recent events, we can be gone pretty quickly. Do you want to skip out of here in a holding pattern?

 

Over and out!

[BeenThere]

She's having hard time deciding what she wants because you are affording her the OPPORTUNITY to *choose*. Have you been reduced to some conciliation prize in her twisted game of hearts?

 

Look, lets face it. Most human beings are selfish and emotionally self-serving. Add to the mix someone who bases their self-worth on the attention they recieve from the opposit sex...and TWO potential lovers who are equally as desperate, vying for the attention of the needy maiden at hand...and you have yourself a toxic threesome primed for a psychiatrist's couch!

 

Your girlfriend will not make a *choice*. Not as long as she can keep you in the game. Why would she? She's living the best of both worlds. Cut the puppet strings and forfeit the game. Their are no *winners* here!

 

Hi everyone! My dilema is that it's been one month since my gf and I broke up but she says it's not totally over. She's very confused and needs more time to think. I've been waiting patiently but I can't wait anymore. My insight as to why she is confused is that she likes or has feelings for someone else but cannot decide if she wants to be with me or with the other person(I asked her if it was true but she wouldn't fess up!). Why is it so hard for her to choose since I've been with her for over three years and whatever time she has been talking to this other person. I love her tremendously but if she really loves me then there shouldn't be any doubt that she would be with me! I just don't know anymore!!! Why doesn't she just come out and tell me what she wants! If it is another person then she might as well tell me because I'm already at the bottom of the pit. At least I could accept it, start the healing process and move on! I think one month is more that enough time to think things over and if she still can't give me a straight answer then I will have to end it for good. I can't live like this not knowing when she would come around and tell me that she wants to get back together or tell me that she doesn't. I love her but I guess you all know the saying, " Let the one you love go..........etc!" Why is making a decision so hard!!! This situation is tearing me apart!!!!! My heart tells me to hold on but my conscience tells me to let her go if I want to get better!!! Please I need some advice!!!!

[Tony T]

Excellent use of words. You got the point across very well. It's really too bad so many people allow themselves to be jerked around like this.

[MercyRose]

The two quotes that help me in such dilemmas:

 

"follow the joy"

 

as in ask yourself is staying with her not knowing making you happy? if no let her go...

 

Then quote two ( the back-up) when you the answer is no:

 

"whatever is mine will not leave me, whatever leaves is not mine"

 

Tell her exactly why you are letting her go, if she doesn't kick up a fuss or try to convince u that u are wrong, or try to make effort to fix things, then read that quote every day...

 

good luck