Sally Posted February 10, 2001 Share Posted February 10, 2001 My husband wants be to get a religious marriage in a Catholic church so he will have access to communion. We have already been married for five years, had a civil marriage and only now is he pushing me to do this. I don*t want to do this as I am of another religion. I don*t understand why he never told me this before. He told me I do not have to become Catholic at all, that it is just for him, but I can*t imagine saying things like, "until death do us part" as I don*t believe in such things. He said he would have to divorce me if I don*t "save him" by doing this. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 10, 2001 Share Posted February 10, 2001 It will be absolutely no sweat off your back to go through this ceremony. During a prenuptual conference between the priest and the two of you, let him know you wish to dispose of the "til death do you part stuff." Tell him why. The Catholic Church has become a lot more open in recent years and it's likely the priest won't really care what words you change. Give him a substitute line, such as "as long as we both shall love." That sounds nice. Don't tell the priest why you want to do this...don't tell him you don't believe in the "til death do you part stuff" unless he asks you specifically. This ceremony will do no harm to you, will help your husband feel better. Maybe I'm just old fashioned but I always thought that man and wife were supposed to be in a loving partnership where each would do these sorts of reasonable things to make each other feel better. A person's comfort with him or herself spiritually is very important. If this will help your mate feel better, what harm is it to you? No matter what religion you are, it really makes no difference. Take an afternoon to accomodate your husband, make him a happy camper, and you'll find your homelife and other aspects of your marriage will improve. And when you need a favor, he'll owe you one. This shouldn't be any big sacrifice for you to do. Helping "save" him is the very least you can do for your hubby. If I asked a wife of mine to do this for me to help save my soul and she refused such a small favor, I think it would say a lot about how she felt about me...and I'd probably divorce her to. Again, he is not asking you to dance nude in a nightclub. What he seeks is something wholesome, respectful and would actually thrill most women that their husband had this kind of interest in his marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted February 10, 2001 Share Posted February 10, 2001 I'm Catholic, and was married in the Catholic church back in 92 (though I'm divorced now). It's my understanding that they won't marry a couple in that church unless both parties are Catholic. Does your hubby attend the Catholic church? Why does he feel you need to get married (again) in that church so that HE can go for communion? Are you saying that because he was not married in the Catholic church, that they're not allowing him to receive communion? (and that's why he wants this?)....... I could be wrong, but he should be able to receive communion regardless of whether you two had a civil ceremony??? I find it strange that he told you that you didn't have to 'become Catholic', that you just had to remarry in that church. Sounds like someone from the Church is putting pressure on him, no?....telling him he can't receive communion because he wasn't married in the church?? Am I understanding this correctly? Hard to give advice unless I know the whole scoop. If he's attending a church that tells him he can't receive Holy Communion all because he didn't marry in the Church, I think that's just crazy.......and yet another reason that I have no use for the Catholic church anymore. Too many rules. God wouldn't care about all those rules....God cares what's in your heart and that's all. Since divorcing 6 yrs ago, I guess I'm not technically able to receive communion (though I haven't gone to church there more than a dozen times over the past few years).....not unless I pay $900 and get my marriage annulled. Yeah, right. I refuse to do so. I don't need some bigshot in the Vatican to give me permission to say my 'marriage never existed'....horse puckey. I'm starting to ramble here... Please provide more info... Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
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