almostthere Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 I have two children 8 and 5 years old. My bf has three children 8,7,6 years old. He doesnt watch what he says in front of his own children. and uses the "f" word quite a bit. I do while speaking to friends but not in front of my children. I wont allow anyone to use that speech in front of my children. I have told my bf that I cannot stand when he slips up in front of my kids and he also has his brother and stepson living there too who also swear a lot. I am very set in my parenting ways and have high morals when it comes to raising children. My children adore this guy. My daughter (5) would bring him everywhere if she could. We have been dating for about 9 months. I like him a lot too but find this swearing a huge problem. I wont tolerate it. I have talked to him several times. Including just this past Tuesday night. And it still hasnt stopped. Just yesterday evening he must have said the "F" word in the same sentence about 5 times. Dont get me wrong when the kids arent around I have a horrible mouth but the second they are an earshot away I change my speech and expect the people around me to respect my children and not swear. Am I being overly protective of my kids? All I want to do is raise them as best as I can. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 There is no reason for him to be swearing in front of your children.. On top of the fact that is the wrong thing to be teaching them the fact that he does it after you have asked him not to is disrespectful towards you. Lay down the law.. Make him pay a dollar in a jar every time he/you swear in front of the children and if a dollar doesn't work make it 5.. Then at the end of the month use the money and buy the kids something .. He will either be a baby about it or he will stop swearing.. you have FULL control over this situation.. they are your kids.. If he doesn't stop make him aware that the consequences are high. Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 IMO, its completley uncalled for. Sure kids will eventually hear ugly things from other people be it at school, other friends, family members, strangers etc, however for people to purposly say ugly things infront of their kids is just totally inapproperiate and disrespecful. My husband has a niece who a few years back had a little boy who at the time was about 4 years old. She always said ugly things, swearing etc infront of him. One day he said something about the word b*tch. His mother grew very angry and told him if she heard him say that again, she would pop him in the mouth. She asked him where he heard it, he looked at her and said "YOU" that ticked her off more and she then said, I'm the adult I can say whatever I want." I was thinking to myself, wow great parenting skills there! So what if shes the adult, if she wanted to set a good example for him she wouldn't have been talking like that to him/infront of him no way. Basically it was her fault and she was trying to justify her actions/words by saying she was the adult, I remember saying to her, "If you are the adult, then act like it and grow up." Just my 2 cents. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 We slipped up a few times in front of the kids too. I realized that if I wanted to be really careful of what I say in front of the kids I would have to be really careful what I say anytime so I could break the habit of swearing altogether. When I stopped swearing even when the kids were not around it helped hubby to curb his swearing too since he never heard it from me. I figured if I wanted to teach my children not to swear then I should not swear either. Period. If you are dating and he doesn't respect your parenting style is he the right person to around your kids? Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 We slipped up a few times in front of the kids too. I realized that if I wanted to be really careful of what I say in front of the kids I would have to be really careful what I say anytime so I could break the habit of swearing altogether. When I stopped swearing even when the kids were not around it helped hubby to curb his swearing too since he never heard it from me. I figured if I wanted to teach my children not to swear then I should not swear either. Period. If you are dating and he doesn't respect your parenting style is he the right person to around your kids? You know i think unless you purposely do it is wrong and every word out of your mouth is a ugly word than that is bad parenting !! I know i have slipped on ocassions and sometimes they can really piss us off and it justs comes out like the word a$$ but nothing major the little things !! Like if i hit my toe i say damn or ****!! Link to post Share on other sites
Nicholas Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Am I being overly protective of my kids? I don't think it's a protection issue. I honestly think naughty language isn't something you need to protect them from, as long as they are old enough to understand that it's something that adults can do but they cannot. My parents swear often, and I distinctly remember at a young age clearly understanding that there were words that I can't say but they can. The double standard didn't really affect my development. My vocabulary developed perfectly fine, and if anything, the lesson about "time and place" made it easier for me to understand it. However, you're spot on with the issue of respect. Excessive swearing is a sign of disrespect, and he should be able to control himself around your children for the simple reason that you asked him to. Link to post Share on other sites
Roo-bie2 Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 I would be worried about this guy not respecting your wishes WITH YOUR CHILDREN. I would have issues if he couldn't respect my parental decisions. It doesn't sound like he is having an open debate or discussion on why you parent a certain way so there is an issue with lack of respecting YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
vampira Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Excessive swearing would be inappropriate, but a bit of swearing every now and again - that's not so bad. What's more important is that children are happy, healthy and loved. Link to post Share on other sites
dnm1010 Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 FH and i try not to swear now and were not even married. we just dont want our house life to have habits like that that we believe need to be kicked once u have kids. swearing is uncaLLED for especially in the home. Link to post Share on other sites
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